Playing the Part
by kyla713
Summary: Edward feels trapped in the life he lives, and can find no way out. When he meets fellow stage actress, Bella Swan, the part he plays off the stage begins to slip. And everything begins to change. AH/OOC.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was a little plot bunny that was encouraged by StarlightSuccubus, and as today is her birthday, I thought it would be appropriate to post it for her. This is completely out of my norm in many aspects, so it has been interesting to write on and off for a while now. It will be a very short story, so it will not be taking over my other projects, but I know she's been looking forward to this. So Happy Birthday bb! **

* * *

This wasn't me. This had never _been_ me. I had a wife and kids, whom I loved more than anything in this world.

Well, I definitely loved my children. Aimee and Zach were my entire world, everything I lived and breathed for. My wife and I barely even spoke anymore when we weren't arguing, and sex had become a distant memory since right after Zach was born. The instant I discovered that she'd been with another man, and even questioned the paternity of our son, all desire I'd ever felt for her dissipated into nonexistence.

I'd elected to remain in the marriage to stay close to my children, once DNA tests confirmed that he was mine, but there was no reconciling the passion between us. Even after all this time, I was disgusted by the thought of touching her, and she'd quit even trying at night about a year ago. Which was fine by me, as long as I had my kids.

That was until _she _walked into the casting office that day, preparing to audition for the role opposite me in the company's upcoming production. She had a fire and determination about her, both in and out of character; and also, nearly a decade my junior.

Which was perfect for the part, hell on my libido. And I realized how much I'd missed feeling _something_.

Even at the worst of times in my ten-year marriage, I had never thought once about cheating on my wife, nor had I ever been unable to keep myself separated between reality and the part I was playing in my profession on the stage.

However, acting out the fantasies of my character, night after night, with his much younger love interest, had led me to many evenings just like this.

In the shower while everyone else was asleep, seeking release from the arousing images of a scantily clad brunette that had been writhing beneath me on stage just two hours before. Her soft, firm skin like satin beneath my fingertips, her perfectly pouted lips capturing mine heatedly, her hands gripping me wantonly until the lights went down. Just that image alone was enough to get me through one more night beside my wife.

**o~O~o**

"Cullen, Swan, what the _fuck_ was that out there tonight?" the director, Steve, shouted as he stormed out of his office as we were all preparing to leave for the night.

"Sorry, sir?" Bella inquired, her forehead wrinkled in confusion while my body stiffened in response.

"Steve, everyone has an off night once in a while," I replied tensely, shaking my head.

"No, I'm not buying that," he retorted firmly, advancing on us both quickly. "In twenty years of theater, I have _never_ seen the chemistry that you two possess up there. And in the last six weeks, you have set that stage on fire every single night. I don't know what happened tonight, but I _will_ not see another performance like that again. Saturdays are our biggest draw. So you will both report here first thing tomorrow morning for a run-through of that performance to ensure that it will _not_ happen again."

"You know I can't do that, Steve. I have my kids tomorrow. My wife has to work," I protested, feeling her eyes on me without having to look.

"That is not _my_ problem. My _only_ concern is the presentation of this production. Just remember that you are _not_ indispensable," he snapped, turning on his heel and returned to his office, slamming the door behind him.

I gave a disgusted laugh and reached into my pocket for my phone, only then realizing that I had left it and my ring in my dressing room. "Perfect. Just fucking perfect," I mumbled under my breath as I made my way to the back.

After calling my father and making sure that he would be available to watch the kids in the morning, I made my way out to the parking lot that was completely empty, with the exception of one vehicle. A large, red Chevy pick-up, that appeared even older than I was with the sound of swearing coming from the inside. A chuckle escaped my lips until the occupant turned her head and I was met with the familiar set of brown eyes that had been tormenting me through countless weeks of rehearsals and performances.

The door creaked loudly as she stepped out and again when she shoved it closed behind her. "Well, I guess Murphy's Law strikes yet another unsuspecting soul."

Folding my arms over my chest as I stopped in front of her, I nodded to the immense vehicle behind her. "Car trouble?"

She sighed heavily. "Car trouble. Job trouble. _Life_ trouble." Her eyes met mine as her fingers froze in its motion as they ran through her hair in frustration, and she released a small, embarrassed laugh. "I'm sure you _really_ didn't need the epic rant."

I shrugged casually and shook my head, attempting to mask my edginess. "Need a jump or something."

"I wish," she replied, her jaw tensing as she shook her head. "Mike already tried that before he left, and it still wouldn't start. Then he got a call from the hospital to tell him that his girlfriend is in labor. And genius that I am, I forgot my phone at home tonight. So I can't call for a ride or a tow or anything."

"Oh," I nodded, and reached into my pocket for mine. "Here, you can use mine. And I can give you a ride home if you'd like."

"Thanks," she smiled shyly as she took the phone from my hand.

Turning back to her truck, she opened the door and stretched across the seat, reaching into her glovebox. I quickly averted my eyes, trying to will away the image of her jeans stretching tightly across her ass and the effect the sight had on me. I heard her voice talking into the phone and chanced a look in her direction, where she was now seated in the cab; yet, the change in position did little to help my situation.

Her foot was propped on the seat with her knee resting on the steering wheel, while the other leg dangled out the door. Her head leaned back against the seat as she sighed heavily and her eyes closed, her fingers weaving through her brown locks again. As she ended the call, her gaze fixed on the screen of my phone for a moment before looking back to me.

"They said it would be at least forty-five minutes before they could get a truck here. I can just call my dad, he wouldn't mind coming out," she said and then began to dial.

"No!" I replied a little too urgently before I could stop myself and her thumb froze over the buttons, looking up to me again. "I mean, I don't mind waiting here with you for the tow truck."

The hint of a smile teased at her lips as she gazed at me, and then ended the call before she hit the last number. "Thanks... again. He may not have minded, but I doubt he'd appreciate the hour."

My laugh joined hers as I stood awkwardly beside her truck. We'd never had the opportunity to talk much before then, and now that one had presented itself, I couldn't think of a single thing to say.

"They're beautiful," she said suddenly, handing my phone back to me with the screen still illuminated, a picture of my kids staring back at me. "How old are they?"

"Uh, Aimee's eight, and Zach is two," I replied quietly, gazing down at their faces before sliding the phone back into my pocket.

Her eyes remained on me for a moment and then she hopped down from the cab, making her way to the back of the truck. "We're gonna be here for a while. Might as well enjoy the nice night. I promise, I don't bite."

Lowering her tailgate, she hoisted herself up to sit upon it, folding her legs in front of her. I slowly made my way to join her, resting back against the metal door and avoiding her gaze.

"I never would have pictured you for the married type," she began suddenly and I turned to look at her. She bit her lip with her head tilted slightly, before lowering her gaze and picking at the hem of her jeans at her ankles. "The wedding ring is usually the first thing I look for. Or at the very least a tan-line. And you never really seem to be in a rush to get out of here at night. I just assumed you had no one to rush home _to_, I guess."

"And here I thought my anti-social, boring personality exuded off me," I replied with a small smile, looking down to my hand and sliding my ring up a bit. "I'm a night owl, no tan line. The most time I spend in the sun is Saturdays with the kids. And they're all usually _asleep_ by the time I get home."

"Anti-social, maybe. But I wouldn't go so far as to say _boring_," she chuckled, shaking her head and then looked up at me. "I'm just usually a lot better at reading people than this. Here I was wondering why you hadn't been grabbed up."

I shrugged, my gaze falling back down to the ground. "I just tend to keep my personal life separate from my professional. Makes it easier to keep things in perspective, I guess. Keep everything in its place."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to intrude. Just glad I chickened out on inviting you for a coffee or something. _That_ would have been humiliating," she replied with a soft laugh, nudging my shoulder lightly with hers. I only managed a brief smile and a nod, keeping my eyes focused on my boot. I heard her slow intake of breath and felt her touch on my shoulder. "Don't worry. I don't do those kinds of things. I'm not a home-wrecker."

My gaze slowly met hers again and her eyes flickered over my face, her hand falling slowly from my arm and into her lap. Before I could think on my actions, I turned to her, driving my fingers into her hair and pressing my lips firmly to hers. She inhaled sharply in surprise but slowly began responding, her legs unfolding and pulling me to stand between them. Our chests heaved together as her back arched slowly against me, her hands gripping at the back of my shirt.

Just as quickly as I started it, my conscience got the better of me and I pulled back, taking a few steps away from her with my hands rubbing over my face.

"Way to prove your point, Bella," I heard her mumble behind me, the clunk of her heels echoing against the metal beneath her. "I can still call my dad if you want."

I shook my head and then turned back to face her, sighing heavily. "That was my fault, not yours. I'm sorry, it'll never happen again."

She released a sad laugh and nodding before raising her eyes up to mine again. "It _is_ my fault that I want it to. And I wish I could say that I'm really sorry about that."

Moving off the tailgate, she closed the distance between us and slid her arms around my neck, claiming my lips with hers as I embraced her tightly around the waist. Everything about the moment was wrong, but she felt so good against me. Passion radiated from her that I hadn't felt in years, and never with that intensity. My need for her was mounting, until it was spiraling out of control.

**o~O~o**

Stepping out onto her front porch nearly two hours later, I adjusted the collar of my jacket and exhaled heavily, staring up at the night sky. She came to stand beside me with her arms folded around her waist, her posture stiff as she gazed down at the walk below.

"I'm not gonna tell anyone," she murmured softly, shaking her head as her body curled in on itself. "Despite my actions, I meant what I said. I'm not a home-wrecker."

I nodded silently and made my way to my car, unable to even bring myself to glace up at her as I pulled out of her driveway.

My hand ran roughly into my hair as I began the drive home, gripping the steering wheel tightly with the other. Regardless of the state of my marriage, there was no justification for what I'd just done. I was married, with a family and responsibilities. And burdening a young, beautiful woman such as Bella with the chaos of my life—all self-inflicted—was unfair. There were only three more weeks of the production, and then she would be gone, onto other things, and out of my life.

A little after two in the morning, I silently closed the bedroom door behind me and grabbed my robe from the bedpost, almost making it to the adjoining bathroom before the light behind me flickered on.

"You're late," my wife's voice carried across the room and I froze as the pit of my stomach knotted.

"Yeah. Someone had car trouble, and I stuck around to help out," I replied tonelessly, taking another step toward my destination.

"Who is she?" she retorted, sitting up in the bed and I could feel her eyes boring into my back.

"You know, that's really funny coming from you of all people. What makes you think there's a 'she'?" I countered, turning to return her glare, albeit less forcefully than it might have been in the past.

She shoved the covers aside and swung her legs out of bed, standing up to walk over to me. "You think I don't hear you at night? I'm not stupid. No man can go without sex for this long, even 'holier than thou' ones such as yourself," she sneered with narrowed eyes, gripping me through my jeans. "You don't want a divorce, so this is mine. If it would make you feel better, you can always pretend I'm her."

Clenching my teeth, I brought my hand to cover hers, removing her touch from me while never breaking eye contact with her. "Maybe you should have thought of that when you were spreading your legs for someone else's. I was completely and utterly devoted to you and this family. And _now_ you want to stake claim?"

"You're _my_ husband, Edward," she growled, her hands fisted tightly at her sides.

"On paper, that's it."

"You're mine. You always have been, you always will be. And nothing or no one is ever going to change that," she retorted insistently, shaking her head.

"You lost me a long time ago."

Her jaw noticeably tensed as I turned away again, closing the bathroom door behind me and locking it. Leaning forward on the sink, I glanced up at my reflection in the mirror, disgusted by what I now saw. Everything I swore I would never be, would never lower myself to.

I was a cheater, and no longer only in my mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

After dropping the kids off with my father, I made my way to the theater, trying hard to focus my mind. I needed to put the events of the night before behind me if I was ever going to get through the rehearsal, which would be nearly impossible with the memories I now possessed.

Her soft whimper against my lips.

The desire I felt from her that rivaled my own.

The feel of her skin against mine.

And now, I had to walk onto a stage, with a dozen eyes upon me, masking my own desire for her while portraying my character's to Steve's satisfaction.

I was in hell.

The moment our eyes met across the stage, I knew that I was going to fail in at least one attempt today. Her gaze held the same confusion and guilt as mine did, only hers also seemed to hold a hint of sadness. Which only deepened as we dove right into the rehearsal without so much as a hello.

"This is wrong, Nadia. We can't keep doing this. Meeting in secret, stolen moments. What kind of life is this?" I spoke my line, gazing at her intently.

"It's the life I've chosen. With you," Bella replied, her features shifting to take on the demeanor of her role almost instantaneously. "The world is wrong, Marc, not us. Let them judge, we can't allow them to affect us."

I took her hands as she reached to clasp my face and shook my head. "No. You should go, and never come back to this place. You deserve so much better than this."

Her fists clenched in my hold and her body tensed as her eyes held mine. "Then tell me you don't love me."

I released her and turned away, fisting my hair tightly in my hands. "Nadia, don't make this harder than it needs to be."

Taking my arm, she turned me to face her, the hint of tears in her eyes. "Do you love me?"

"No," I replied immediately and her grip tightened on my arm.

"You're lying."

"Even if I _am_ lying, it doesn't change anything!" I yelled back at her, pulling my arm free from her grasp. "Just go!"

She breathed in deeply, closing the distance between us quickly and gripping my hair as she pulled my lips to hers. And for that one moment, I allowed myself to become lost in the character, submerging myself in the taste and feel of her again. I held her tightly against me, her legs wrapping around my waist as I lifted her, carrying her over to the bed. She gave a soft moan as I settled between her legs, my erection pressing firmly against her.

"Just one more time," she whispered and her body arched as I kissed down her neck, the line delivered so intensely that I had difficulty deciphering whether it was spoken to me or to Marc. Lifting my head, I sealed my lips over hers and felt her foot sliding down along the back of my leg, arousing me all the more.

"And cut!" Steve called out from the seats, clapping his hands dramatically as he stood to walk toward the stage. "Now _that_ is what I want to see tonight, or you'll both be standing in the unemployment line come Monday. Are we clear?"

Bella sat up slowly as I roughly pushed off the bed, and nodded. "Yes, sir."

"Cullen?" he called out sharply, his eyebrows rising in expectation.

"Crystal," I shot back and walked off the stage, storming toward my dressing room.

I could hear Bella calling my name, but I closed my door behind me nonetheless, needing a moment to breathe. I felt the subtle vibrations from her soft knock on the wood I was leaning against, thrusting my head back into it.

"Edward, we need to talk," she murmured through the door and I sighed heavily, shaking my head. "You're making this into way more of a deal than it is. And it's gonna make the work environment a bit uncomfortable if..."

I yanked the door open and reached for her arm, pulling her inside and closing it quickly. "Do you mind? There _are_ people here that actually _know_ I'm married."

"Why are you so paranoid over this?" she asked with genuine confusion creasing her brow.

"Bella, in ten years of marriage, I have _never_ cheated on my wife. I should've been home with my family last night, not inside your house doing..." I paused, shifting uncomfortably.

"We kissed, Edward. You're acting like we slept together," she whispered sharply and my eyes widened as they moved back to her in shock.

"Close enough. And even so, what's the difference?" I replied under my breath and then ran my fingers through my hair. "I can't talk about this. Not now and certainly not here."

"We both _need_ to talk about this," she stated firmly, her eyes locking with mine. "And you're right, not here. But most definitely now. We have a performance tonight, and we'll never make it through the entire show like this."

"Bella..."

"Come on, we can go to this little coffee shop I found down the road. No one will see or hear us, it's almost always deserted," she pleaded, gazing imploringly at me. "We can take my wheels, no one will even see your car."

"Your truck is dead," I countered with a heavy sigh.

"I never said _anything_ about my truck. How do you think I got to work this morning?" she retorted, making her way out of my dressing room and I pinched the bridge of my nose. The internal battle was raging inside me. Part of me knew I couldn't risk being alone with her again, having fought for the last several minutes against the desire to even feel her in my arms again. Yet more of me was urging me to follow, to give into the temptation that was looming in front of me.

Taking a deep breath, I left the room and walked out the side doors into the parking lot, spotting her immediately as the cool air struck my face. She stood beside a motorcycle that appeared as if it could swallow her whole, twisting her hair up before sliding her helmet on. "_This_ is yours?"

"Don't act so surprised. There's a _lot_ you don't know about me. You ride?" she asked, tossing me the other helmet.

I shook my head in response. "No, not since college. Not exactly the 'dad-mobile' there."

"I think you'll be okay," she replied and then flipped down her visor.

I glanced around me, taking in the nearly deserted parking lot and drawing in a deep breath. Sliding the helmet on, I walked to the bike and climbed on, feeling her arms slip around my waist and her body press against my back as she sat behind me. Thankfully, I knew of the coffee shop she'd mentioned and it was a little more than a quarter of a mile away, and the torment of having her so close to me would end soon.

Yet, as I pulled out of the parking lot, the machine beneath me sent jolts of excitement though my body I hadn't felt in years. I'd almost forgotten how much I loved the feeling of freedom and exhilaration, as if the wind rushing past me momentarily blew away every worry and trouble in my life, even if just for that brief period of time.

And I suddenly regretted selling my bike, at my wife's insistence, just after we'd gotten married. Though since Aimee was born, I had thought little on it and believed I'd put those days behind me completely.

I nearly sighed as the ride came to an end in front of the small coffee shop. When we stepped inside, she shook out her hair as she removed her helmet, flooding me with her scent and causing me to bite back a groan.

"Go ahead, I'll grab our coffee," I said as she pointed out an empty table in the back, sounding far more calm than I felt, needing to put some space between us. Even if only long enough to grab coffee. I watched as she nodded, observing the soft sway of her hips as she turned and walked away. "Two coffees please."

The older woman behind the counter smiled at my strangled words, until her eyes met my hand resting on the surface, frowning as she looked directly at my ring.

"We're just friends," I defended as she slid the two cups toward me with a sarcastic 'mm-hmm'.

_Yeah, lady. Tell me something I'm notalready acutely_ _aware of_, I groaned internally as I took the cups and made my way over to the table.

Watching her stir the sugar into her coffee, I noticed her sigh softly only moments before the cup reached her lips for the first sip. "So, uhh..."

"Edward," she said softly, bringing her gaze to meet mine as she set the cup down in front of her. "Relax. We're just having coffee, no one is going to judge you."

"Tell that to the woman back there," I replied, nodding toward the counter and her eyes followed, releasing a soft chuckle. "Look, Bella. I don't do these things. I think the last time I was even in the company of a woman outside of work, even in the bright light of day, was when I was dating my wife."

"It's not cheating, you know. You're having coffee with a co-worker," she shook her head, leaning forward slightly on the table.

"That's not exactly a comforting thought," I mumbled bitterly, glaring down into my coffee cup before taking a sip.

"Edward," she began, glancing down at her folded hands for a moment before looking back up to me. "What happened last night... I'm not condoning it or justifying the actions of either of us. But the bottom line is that, at the end of the day, _all _we did was kiss."

"That doesn't make it any better, Bella. It doesn't change the fact that it almost wasn't _just_ that," I retorted, clenching my jaw and shaking my head, mentally admonishing myself.

"You stopped it. Think what you may about me, but if you had wanted to get laid last night, you easily could have. You did the right thing," she replied softly, leaning closer to me. "And as much as you didn't seem like the 'married type' to me, you also don't seem like the 'cheating type', either. It doesn't take a genius to see that you're not entirely content with your marital status."

"It's... complicated," I sighed and shook my head, my gaze falling to the table and watching my fingers as they spun my wedding ring distractedly. "Things... they really haven't been good between us for a long time." I paused, taking a deep breath and swallowing hard, having never discussed my marriage or the happenings within it with anyone before. However, her eyes penetrated mine, compelling me to continue as no one ever had. "She had this affair with one of her co-workers, about three years ago. And I was stupid enough not to see right through it. I thought maybe she was just getting a seven-year itch kind of thing and trying to rekindle things between us, but of course, it was just to assuage her own guilt. She was getting the 'seven-year itch', all right. And I probably would've never known if this guy hadn't confronted her on the paternity of our son, insisting the baby was his."

"Oh my god," she gasped quietly, covering her mouth with her fingertips. "Is he… I mean…"

"No, he's mine," I replied, a small, brief smile tugging at my lips at the thought of Zach, and the relief I felt when we'd received the results. It disappeared just as quickly as my thoughts returned to my wife. "She insisted the affair was over, but I couldn't find it in me to care."

"So why do you stay married? I mean, it doesn't really sound like anything is left there," she asked, her brow furrowed in confusion.

I released a humorless laugh and shook my head, taking another sip of my coffee. "You don't know Jane. If I left her, she'd hit me where it hurts, and that's my kids. I can't live without my kids, so there's not much I can do about it right now."

"Staying in it for the kids is _never_ the right decision. Divorce doesn't automatically mean losing your kids, just because you're the dad," she replied, shaking her head. "My dad ended up with full custody of me after he and my mom split. He was just the better parent."

"With Jane, it does. I tried to leave once, right after the paternity test. She immediately had lawyers on my ass, tearing me apart for my profession and how unstable it is for a custodial parent. Investigating my income record for the previous five years. She'd make _sure_ I lost my kids," I sighed sadly, my eyes returning to the table in front of me and running my fingertip along the rim of the coffee cup.

I felt her soft hand rest over mine and my breath halted in my throat, surprised by the comforting, yet still arousing, effect it had on me. It was just a simple touch, an innocent gesture, but I had to remove myself from it immediately.

"Sorry, I didn't mean…" she breathed out nervously, snatching her hand back to hide under the table again, unable to meet my gaze.

"I can't do this, Bella. My kids mean everything to me, and I will do whatever it takes to stay with them," I said, clearing my throat and standing up, reaching into my jeans pocket for my wallet and tossing the money on the table.

"Edward, I'm sorry," she said in a pleading voice, following me out of the coffee shop and into the parking lot, letting out a heavy sigh. "Where are you going?"

"I could use a walk. I'll see you tonight at the show," I replied, glancing back at her briefly before continuing toward the sidewalk. I should have known better than to go somewhere alone with her, to put myself in that kind of vulnerable position, hoping for there to be no effect from it.

"Let me give you a ride. The sky looks like it's about to open up any minute now," Bella sighed, taking a few more steps toward me and I halted, looking up to the sky and seeing that she was right. I nodded in resignation and made my way back to her, where she handed me back my helmet and once again, got on the back.

Through the entire ride, I tried once again not to enjoy the feel of her arms around me, her breasts pressed against the thin fabric covering my back. And that quarter mile might as well have been hundreds.

When I finally parked beside my car behind the theater, I got off the bike as quickly as I could, setting the helmet on the seat in front of her and digging my own keys out of my jacket pocket. As I approached my door, I heard the heels of her boots clicking hurriedly across the pavement toward me, and I rushed in my attempt to unlock my door.

"Edward, please. I honestly didn't mean…"

I cut off her words by turning abruptly and driving my hand into her loose hair, my mouth crashing against hers as a crack of thunder rumbled above us. Our breathing became pants as our lips parted and our tongues glided along the other. The desire I felt for this woman was indescribable, exemplified by my hardened length pressing against her as my other arm wrapped around her waist. Her fingers grasped the front of my jacket, pulling me closer as she responded to my kiss and a soft, subtle whimper escaped her.

The sound triggered me to back away as quickly as I pulled her in, remembering where we were and no longer shielded by the cloak of nightfall. Stepping back toward my car, I lowered myself in and began backing out the instant I had it started. In my rear-view mirror, I caught a glimpse of her stepping out to watch me leave, her quickly dampening hair clinging to the sides of her face as the sky unleashed its fury, before peeling out onto the main road. I needed to collect myself and focus before the show that night, that much she was right about. We couldn't continue the performances like that.

"Son of a bitch," I groaned in frustration as I spotted my wife's car in the driveway when I arrived. "Just what I fucking need."

Heading into the house, I mentally prepared myself to simply ignore her. My mind and body were thoroughly bombarded with everything that had happened with Bella, and I felt as if I would explode at any moment. However, as I stepped in the front door, I laughed humorlessly as Jane stood just inside with her arms folded over her chest.

"Where are my children?" she asked tersely, her eyes narrowed on me.

"You know, as much as I hate to admit it myself, they are _our_ children, and they are with _my_ father because I got called into work this morning," I snapped back, pushing past her to head toward the kitchen.

"Oh, how convenient," she laughed, following me down the hall and standing in the doorway as I grabbed the orange juice out of the fridge. "And you couldn't have mentioned this to me why? You know, I _do_ have a working cell phone."

"Yeah, but you just can't manage to quit being a bitch for two seconds in a row for me to tell you _shit_," I replied in an acerbic tone.

"When are you going to quit punishing me?" she exclaimed, waving her arms out.

"_I'm_ punishing _you_?" I asked with a sarcastic laugh, my eyes widening as I shook my head. "Now _that_ is rich, Jane. You know, because I could have _sworn_ that it was _you_ that fucked around on _me_. Yet, you have the audacity to throw accusations at me, and claim I'm being unfair?"

"You don't want a divorce, and you don't want _me,_ either, but you have _no _problem coming home and jerking off every night in the shower," she growled spitefully, crossing the room to stand right in front of me.

"Well, maybe that's because I know exactly where my hand has been, and therefore, it holds more appeal," I replied sarcastically, slamming the refrigerator shut and glaring back at her. "I'm not the one who destroyed this marriage, Jane. I think it's high time you remembered that."

"Then why stay married to me if all you're going to do is hold a grudge over me for something that happened _years_ ago?" she called from behind me as I made to leave the room.

"You know _exactly_ why!" I seethed, turning on her and boring my eyes into her, yet she barely even flinched. "_You_ may not mean anything to me anymore, but _our children_ do."

Her jaw tensed as I spoke, her teeth and fists clenched. "It was _one_ mistake, Edward."

"One mistake. Over and over and over, for who knows _how_ long," I snarled and then approached her. "Fine, you want to know where I was last night? What I was doing today? Since I'm not like you, and I don't lie. I was with a woman. And I kissed her, and for a split second, even thought about fucking her, too."

Her hand came sharply across my face as angry tears welled in her eyes. "Bastard."

A bitter laugh escaped me as my fingers ran along the corner of my mouth, leaving a distinct red tint on the tips as I pulled it away. My eyes returned to hers, heavy breaths escaping me. "I'd rather be that than a fucking hypocrite."

"What, are you trying to get _even_ with me or something? Would _that_ make you feel better? How about you just go fuck her, then?" she screeched, pointing to the door.

"You know what? I'd _love _to, but I won't give you the satisfaction of easing your conscience," I replied, closing the distance between us and glaring down at her for a moment. She raised her chin defiantly and visibly tensed before I turned to leave the house again.

Pausing in the hallway, I gazed at a picture hanging there of me, Jane and Aimee at the beach when she was just over two years old. Before the affair, before our family was ripped apart at the seams. The love I held for the woman beside me clearly displayed in my eyes and smile, her devotion to me still present in hers. The passion and happiness palpable from something as simple as a picture.

I lifted the frame from the wall and held it in front of me, looking down at it. "What was _so_ bad, Jane? Can you answer me that?" I asked painfully as the memories consumed me, my jaw tense as I brought my eyes back to meet hers. "What was so goddamn bad that it was worth destroying _everything_?"

Her body stiffened as she held my gaze and shook her head. "It wasn't all my fault, Edward."

"And what part of it was mine? That you would go and fuck another man?" I asked, anger returning to my tone. "Every time I look at you, all I see is him. Wondering if you loved him. If you wanted him more than me. If you ever would have told me if he hadn't come forward. If you fucked him where I sleep next to you every single night. How many times, how many ways? Did he make you scream, did he make you come? Was _he _really what you fucking wanted, but you _settled _for me because we were married? And _I'm_ punishing _you_, right? Fuck you, Jane! You have no concept of the word!"

My heart was pounding furiously in my chest as I watched her sink into the kitchen chair, her eyes watering. I set the frame back in place and took a deep breath trying to calm myself.

"Why do you want to hold onto me so fucking badly when I despise you this much?" I asked, knowing I would not receive an answer, and walked out the door, slamming it behind me.

**to be continued...**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So far, this story is only seeming as if it will be about another three or four parts long. Thank you for the support, as this type of Edward is completely out of my norm, which unfortunately has also made him extremely intriguing to write. **

* * *

**Part 3**

"Great show tonight, everyone." I heard the director shout just outside my open dressing room door as I was sliding my jacket on. I grabbed my wedding ring from the surface in front of me, the weight of it nearly excruciating as I slid it back onto my finger.

"Hey," a soft sigh escaped from the doorway and I looked up to find Bella with her arms hugged around her middle, offering me a weak smile.

"Hey," I replied, looking back down to my hand and shaking my head. "I really can't do this, Bella. I made a decision and I need to stick with it."

She breathed out heavily and stepped into the room, closing the door behind her and crossing the room to face me. "Shh, relax. I'm not asking you to. I just wanted to apologize. I've completely overstepped my bounds and I'm really sorry."

"It's not all you, and you know it," I laughed harshly, disgusted with myself, and turned away to sit back down in my chair. Pictures of Aimee and Zach lined the mirror in front of me and my chest tightened as I gazed at their smiling faces.

My daughter was almost a complete carbon copy of her mother, from her blonde hair and crystal blue eyes, to her petite, slender frame. Yet, that was where the similarities ended. She was shy and quiet, preferring to seclude herself with a book or lounge on the recliner with me watching television than to socialize exceedingly with other children.

Zach, on the other hand, was a combination of the two of us in every way. Her blonde hair with my green eyes, but at nearly three years old, he was slowly creeping up on his sister in height, and never a moment without a smile on his face.

"I can't do it to them. If I lost my kids…"

"Edward," she interrupted me abruptly, crouching down on the floor beside my chair and taking my hand. "You're not going to lose them. We have three more weeks of this production, and once it's done, you'll never have to see me again. I'm not going to complicate your life more than it already is. I'm leaving."

My eyes rose quickly to meet her gaze and my fingers tightened around hers in reflex. "What?"

"I made some calls after you left today. My agent set up an audition for me in LA, four days after we wrap here. So, nothing to worry about," she replied, smiling sadly and giving my hand a gentle squeeze before standing up.

Without releasing my hold, I stood with her, pulling her back to me and meeting her lips with mine urgently. Her hands clasped the sides of my face as her lips parted to deepen the kiss as my arms clung around her waist tightly. Lifting her up onto the counter, she leaned back against the mirror as my hands ran along her denim-clad thighs. The deep brown pools of her eyes drew me in once again and her fingers continued trailing along my neck. Her heavy breaths mingled with mine as our noses touched, brushing gently against each other as I slowly pulled her closer. Our lips stood a hair apart when her hand came to my shoulder, and she swallowed audibly.

"And this is why," she whispered with tears in her eyes, her fingertips tracing over my cheek. "I barely even know you, but I can't stay away from you. I can't stop wanting you, even though I know you're married. I won't destroy a family over that."

My eyes closed and I inhaled deeply through my nose, resting my forehead against hers. My heart was racing and my hands were gripping her hips in restraint, but nodding in agreement all the same. Her lips gently brushed my cheek and I felt her slide from beneath me, her footsteps making their way toward the door again.

"Bella," I called out softly, leaning forward on the counter and turning my head toward her. Her hand rested on the doorframe as she glanced over her shoulder at me, the look in her eyes freezing the words in my throat. Pain, sadness, loss… everything I would never wish to be responsible for in this beautiful woman. I cleared my throat softly after a moment of silence, straining to finish my statement. "Good luck."

With a weak smile, she turned and walked away. I remained in my dressing room until I heard the back door open and close, and released a heavy sigh. Taking one last look at myself in the mirror, I ran my hand through my hair in frustration before leaving the room, relieved to find her motorcycle gone by the time I stepped outside.

However, my mind would not leave her, no matter how hard I tried to focus my thoughts elsewhere; my kids, even Jane… anything but Bella.

Nothing worked. As often as I had told myself that the end of the production would mean that life could return to 'normal', hearing her confirm her departure from my life had struck me in ways I had _not_ expected. It sent a surge of dread and desire coursing through me, fear that life _would_ return to normal. Even the confusion and guilt that the thought of her instilled in me caused me to feel more alive than I had in so long. I actually felt _something_.

Turning into my driveway, I parked the car and hurried inside, surprised to find Aimee sitting at the landing of the stairs with her face resting in her hands. My brow furrowed as I removed my jacket and hung it up, my eyes never leaving her. "Baby, what are you doing up at this hour? Shouldn't you be in bed?"

"Mommy was yelling," she murmured, her gaze lifting up to meet mine. "You were late."

I sighed and walked over to her, lifting her into my arms as hers hugged around my neck tightly, and her legs wrapped around my waist. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I'll talk to Mommy. I just got tied up in something at work," I whispered against her hair as I carried her back to her room, laying her down and she snuggled into the pink quilt. "You get some sleep, and I'll see you in the morning."

"Daddy? Are you and Mommy getting a divorce?" she asked quietly as I leaned down to kiss her forehead, freezing at her statement and then lifting up to look down at her again.

"Aimee, where would you get that idea?" I inquired, brushing her cheek lightly with my thumb.

She sat up in bed, hugging her legs to her chest and gazed up at me with tear-filled eyes. "Marisa Thompson said that when moms and dads fight like you and Mommy do, they get divorced. And Mom was yelling to Aunt Kate on the phone tonight about wishing she didn't marry you."

My teeth clenched tightly as I watched my little girl begin to sob and I sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her back into my lap and feeling her tiny arms clinging around me tightly as she cried into my shoulder. My anger at Jane at that moment was immeasurable to anything I'd felt in the past, since it no longer only affected me, but it was taking its toll on our child.

"Do you hate Mommy, Dad?" she asked softly as I ran my hand over her tangled blonde curls.

Drawing in a deep breath, I rocked her gently in my arms, trying to answer her question as objectively as I could. "No, baby. I don't _hate_ Mommy."

"Then why does she hate you?" she asked, lifting her head from my shoulder and tilting it slightly as she looked at me.

I attempted to keep calm in the presence of my daughter, to ease her fears rather than exacerbate them. "Mommy doesn't hate me, either."

"Then why would she say that?" she replied with a quivering lip, her blue eyes glistening as she gazed at me.

"Honey, sometimes when grownups are mad, they say things they really don't mean. I'll talk to Mommy, and I don't want you to worry about a thing but getting some sleep, okay?" I replied, forcing a smile as I kissed her forehead when she nodded. I stood from her bed with her in my arms and laid her back down in bed, covering her over snugly. "I love you."

"Love you, too, Daddy," she mumbled before releasing a yawn and closed her eyes, cuddling into her pillow.

After silently leaving her room, I crossed the hall to Zach's, watching the light from the hall cast over him as the door opened slowly. I quietly walked over to his bed, kneeling beside it and running my hand lightly over the soft blond hair atop his head. He mumbled softly in his sleep, tugging his blanket up under his chin and causing his feet to stick out at the bottom. I smiled despite myself and reached down to cover them back over, and then kissed his forehead.

If nothing else, that night had been a reminder of what I couldn't live without, regardless of what I had to struggle through. My children were vital to me.

As I entered the bedroom I shared with Jane, I could literally feel the scowl return to my face as I spotted her, seated in the chair in the corner and reading. "I hope you're satisfied. Now that you've successfully traumatized our eight year old," I sneered quietly, as I closed the door behind me and walked to my dresser.

"Another session in the shower tonight, then?" she replied casually, her eyes remaining locked on the book in front of her as she turned the page.

My eyes turned to her in disbelief, shaking my head. "That's all you have to say? Really? Is that _really _all you're concerned about? Not the fact that our little girl was sitting at the bottom of the steps tonight, crying her eyes out while you were ranting on the phone with that bitch sister of yours? You're un-fucking-believable."

"She wanted you. She _always_ wants you, and she refused to go to bed until you got home," she said softly, setting her book aside and standing from the chair, turning to face me. "It's that co-star of yours, isn't it? The one you want to fuck?"

"Is that _really_ all you think about?" I growled back at her, snatching a pair of loose pants from the drawer and thrusting it shut roughly. "Forgive me if I don't think with my dick as much as you seem to believe I do. I actually _have_ priorities that don't include getting _laid_."

"Obviously. Since you won't even sleep with your own _wife_," she sneered, stepping in front of me as I made my way to the adjoining bathroom and I averted my eyes from her. "Give me a second chance, Edward. You want to know why I hold onto you? Because I still love you, and I know deep down that you still love me, too, beneath your bruised ego…"

"Bruised ego?" I exclaimed with an angry laugh, my gaze returning to hers. "You slept with another man. Jane, _my son_ could have been _his_. That is the worst form of deception there is. So no, the 'us' part of this marriage is over. I'll be here to take care of my children, nothing more."

Pushing past her, I walked into the bathroom to change and emerged a moment later, grabbing my pillow from the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked, gazing at me wide-eyed from her side as she was settling herself in. I looked back at her stiffly and she began to shake her head. "What about the kids? Don't you think they'll find it a bit odd that Daddy is sleeping on the couch?"

"You mean more odd than them hearing that Mommy hates me and wishes she'd never married me?" I retorted sarcastically, my brow furrowing as I glared back at her. "I think I'll take my fucking chances. Wouldn't want to force you to sleep beside someone you hate, after all."

Walking quietly past the kids' rooms, I made my way downstairs and tossed my pillow onto the couch, collapsing with a heavy sigh onto it. The day had been an epic rollercoaster ride and I was emotionally drained, yet my mind still raced. One fight with Jane in a day was more than enough, let alone two. Her shifting moods from hot to cold and back again with me were literally causing my head to spin, unsure from one minute to the next if she was going to seduce me or castrate me. Either would have been equally unpleasant.

And then, there was Bella.

In one day, she had made me feel more masculine and desirable than my wife had evoked in me in several years. Never once in the two unscripted kisses we shared that day did I feel inadequate, and even more so the night before.

As I stared at the ceiling, I allowed myself for the first time that day to think back on the happenings of that night. From the moment I kissed her in the parking lot, I felt my desire for her threatening to consume me. Yet when I felt it returned with just as much intensity, I wanted to lose myself in it. For once in my responsible fucking life, _I_ wanted to be the one allowed to 'fuck up'.

Closing my eyes, images ran through my mind of her. The way she nervously bit her lip across the car from me, her eyes searching mine as she asked me to come inside. I should have said no, but everything in me was urging me toward her, to feel her against me again. Even at the present moment, I could feel myself hardening at the memory of it. Lying on her couch, my body settled on top of her with everything but our underwear discarded. Her bare breasts pressed against me as her legs wrapped around mine, grinding her hips along my length.

I gazed down at her as I broke our kiss; I could have very easily taken her right then. Felt the pleasure of engulfing myself within her, the warmth of the beautiful woman beneath me. However, I could not ignore my ring taunting me from the corner of my eye, reminding me of its presence and I had to remove myself from her embrace.

For all the guilt it had caused me, I might as well have indulged in her, but that wasn't me. And now, she was going away.

**o~O~o**

The following two weeks were torturous. Seeing Bella every day, knowing that the time before she left was quickly dwindling, caused an ache inside me I couldn't explain. And hard as we tried to stay away from each other off-stage, the desire radiating between us grew astronomically and countless stolen kisses had transpired. Always ending the same– I'd pull away, apologize, and say I had to go, trying to block out the look on her face the entire way home.

Though highly resented by Jane, the children never questioned my newly acquired occupancy of the couch at night. Nor did it quell her attempts to change the situation, which naturally led to more fights, more accusations.

Until the last few nights.

Jane was always fast asleep by the time I got home, and spoke to me only when necessary in the mornings. Back to 'normal', yet something in her gaze at me didn't sit well and I had yet to place my finger on it.

A heavy weight rested on my chest, pulling me abruptly from slumber and I opened my eyes to find morning filtering in the windows, and my son's face an inch from mine.

"Mornin', Dad," he smiled broadly and sitting up on my stomach. "Waffews!"

"Morning, champ," my voice croaked in return as I sat up, holding onto him as I attempted to twist the knot out of my back. "Never forget, huh?"

He shook his head with a giggle. "Mama send me."

I faked a smile and nodded, hoisting him onto my hip as I stood and made my way into the kitchen, where I spotted Jane standing by the coffee pot. "Think Daddy can have some coffee first?"

"Yep!" he replied as I set him in his seat, occupying himself instantly with the coloring book set there.

"Pretty low when you use the children, Jane," I mumbled under my breath as I stood beside her pouring my coffee, taking a sip before looking at her. "Even for you."

"Good morning to you, too, honey," she replied in a sweet tone, rising up onto her toes to kiss my cheek gently. "You're supposedly an actor, prove it."

My jaw clenched as she whispered in my ear, pulling away as gazing up at me with her smile back in place.

"Happy anniversary," I replied, pecking her lips gently and then turning away to make waffles for the kids, as I did every Sunday before leaving for the matinee.

**o~O~o**

Sitting in my dressing room after my shower, I took deep breaths to try to center myself. Jane was beginning to attack with all guns again, from running her hand along my thigh at breakfast to the gropefest she tried ensnaring me into at the front door as I tried to leave. I could still taste her sugary lip-gloss; still feel her touch all over me. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't shake it.

Wrong as it was, I needed to see Bella.

Pulling a t-shirt over my head, I began heading out of the room, startling slightly when I swung the door open to find Jane on the other side.

"Surprise," she smiled, stepping toward me and taking my face in her hands, meeting my lips with hers.

Taking her hands with mine, I pulled away from her, not at all feigning the shock in my voice as I replied. "Honey, what are you doing here?"

"Your father offered to watch the kids for a while today so I could come see your play, finally. Being our anniversary and all," she said, her eyes narrowing subtly.

"Well, wasn't that nice of him," I replied, gently taking her arm and guiding her into the room, thrusting her away as soon as the door closed behind us. "What are you _really_ doing here? I'm not in the mood for your games, Jane."

"I came to see my _husband_," she hissed back, gently rubbing the skin I'd gripped. "Is that really so hard to believe?"

"For _you_? Yes," I sneered, pacing the floor as I turned to glare at her. "In all the time we've been married, you have never _once_ come down to the theater. Why _now_ when our marriage is _over_?"

"Because it's _not_ over," she retorted, clenching her fists. "Until you actually grow a set and serve me with divorce papers, our marriage still exists and I'm not going to stop fighting for it."

I snorted a laugh and shook my head, driving my hands into my hair. "You truly never cease to amaze me, Jane."

"I'm not going to let some home-wrecking whore destroy my family. Even though I know you'd never cheat on me. You just don't have it in you," she smirked triumphantly and her arms folded over her chest. "You don't have the balls to stick it in someone else while you're still married to me."

My jaw tightened and I inhaled deeply as I glared at her.

"So the way I see it, you should either give up this self-righteous attitude and make this marriage work or divorce me," she continued and began walking past me, patting my cheek with her hand as she did. "And we both know how you feel about the 'big D'."

My eyes and teeth clenched in physical restraint from screaming as she finally reached the door, then turned my glare back to her. "Just go home."

"No, I don't think so. You aren't the only one I came here to see," she replied and I noticed a glint in her eyes that sent a sudden dread through me.

"Don't you dare," I gritted through my teeth and followed her out the door.

She froze just outside and I stopped behind her, attempting to decipher why she'd halted so suddenly. Turning back to me, she pulled my face to hers and kissed me passionately, clinging to me as if I were her lifeline. I rested my hands on her sides, squeezing subtly to hint for her to stop, to which she simply intensified the gesture. When she finally pulled away, she traced her finger along my jaw and smiled. "Mission accomplished. Break a leg, baby."

I watched as she sauntered away and was just about to turn back to my dressing room when my gaze met Bella's, amongst the crowd that had gathered with the scene that had just taken place.

There was nothing I could do or say to remove that look from her eyes that she was trying to mask with indifference. And certainly not with the group of people surrounding us, which was no doubt Jane's intention. I sighed heavily, hoping that I would have a chance to speak with her after the show, both of us turning away to head for our separate dressing rooms.

Sitting in our positions for the opening restaurant scene, I chanced a look in her direction before the curtain rose, to find her gaze on me. A small smile graced her lips before she turned her attention back to the newspaper in her hand, the curtain beginning to rise.

I spotted Jane in the front row immediately and had to suppress a groan of frustration. It was entirely a new low for her, and I knew from the very beginning that it would take its toll on the performance.

However, it wasn't until the first love scene that it became clear as to how it would come about. Bella's passionate grip on my hair was tighter, causing a sharp pinch on the back of my head. The arch of her back more pronounced as she pressed her body against me, a brusquer tone to her voice when she whispered in my ear.

"Take me, I'm begging you."

Each scene became more intense, every moment of it more arousing than the last. And when my lips sealed over hers one final time before the lights and curtain fell, I slowly pulled away as the applause muffled slightly behind the thick fabric. Her eyes locked with mine for a moment, flickering slightly between them until she stepped away and took my hand, seconds before the audience came into our view again with the curtain call – minus one. The seat once occupied by Jane was now empty, with no sign of her anywhere.

Bella's smile never faded until it came down again and she pulled her hand from mine, walking quickly off the stage before I could utter a single word.

After changing, I was preparing to leave when I caught a glimpse in my peripheral vision of a figure in my doorway. I closed my eyes and let out a heavy sigh as I slid my keys into my pocket.

"She's pretty," Bella's voice carried across the room to me and I finally turned to look at her, discovering tears in her eyes. "Not quite the 'wicked witch of the west' I was envisioning all this time."

"Yeah, well, also a perfect example of the old phrase 'beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes right to the bone'," I replied sarcastically with a bitter laugh and then looked down, shaking my head. "No one knows. I don't normally discuss what goes on inside my house, here at work. So, as far as everyone else knows, I'm just another happily married man, doing what he can to support his wife and kids. And I prefer it that way."

I heard the door close and I looked up, thinking she had gone, to find her lifting herself up to sit on the surface in front of me. "Why?"

"Because it keeps people from being hurt, Bella," I replied somewhat sharply, watching her features tighten. "This is a small town, and people talk. My kids don't need to be the center of gossip because their mother slept around and their father just doesn't know how to deal with it. And you don't need to be put in the middle of my wife's vindictive attempts to get back at me because I have nothing left inside me for her."

"And what about you?" Bella replied tensely. "That little scene outside your doorway didn't hurt or upset me. I have no right to be hurt or upset. But it did _piss me off_!"

My eyes shot to hers abruptly as her voice raised, a slight growl lacing it. I was rendered speechless by the angry glare in her eyes and the tight grip of her hands on the edge of the table she sat upon.

"I'm young and not overly experienced… but I'm not stupid, either. A woman's mind and body language is not difficult to decode by another woman," she continued, rolling her eyes. "I was on my way to see you when you two were coming out. It was _very _obvious that she was marking her territory, and you were far too stiff to be welcoming to it."

"Then why…" I began in confusion, my brow tightening as I gazed at her. "Why did you run away like that?"

"I told you, I was pissed off. I still am," she answered plainly, her tone casual but her eyes began misting over and her lip trembled. "You just stood there and took it. I know you want to stay with your kids, but why is it that _she_ has you? There is _nothing_ left between the two of you, that much is blatantly clear. She doesn't appreciate you, obviously, if she could sleep with someone else. But you're in _her_ bed every night. You go home to _her._"

"Bella," I sighed heavily as her voice became more emotional, turning and stepping away from her. "You know I don't go back there for her. I don't do _any_ of this for _her_."

"I didn't say I was only pissed off at _you. _Or her. Hell, if you were my husband, I'd fight for all it's worth, too," she spoke softly and I glanced over my shoulder to find her eyes in her lap. "I'm pissed off at this fucked up situation. I know life isn't fair, but this is ridiculous."

I watched as a tear fell onto her hand from behind the curtain of hair that hid her face. I wanted so much to go to her, to hold her against me and calm her; but I knew that wouldn't be good for either of us.

"She doesn't deserve you, and she has you coming home to her every night," she said softly and then flipped the thick brown strands over her shoulder to gaze at me. "And I want you _so_ much, but I can't have you at all. I meant it when I said that I've never wanted _anything_ this much. And that scares the hell out of me."

I stared into her tear-filled eyes for a prolonged moment before completely turning back to her, closing the distance between us, and taking her into my arms. I felt hers wrap tightly around my waist as she cried into my chest, her hands splaying against my back and pressing me closer. "I'm sorry, Bella. I never meant to hurt you."

"It's my own stupid fault. I've broken two of my cardinal rules with you. I swore I'd never become attached to another actor and definitely not if he's married, and you're _both_. How's that for karma biting you in the ass?" she chuckled sadly, lifting her gaze back to mine. "It's a good thing I'm leaving because I don't know how much longer I can do this."

Running my thumb along her cheek, I brushed away a tear that had trailed along her skin. My breaths began accelerating as her fists gripped my shirt at my sides, sliding off the surface to stand in front of me with her gaze never leaving mine. Our lips ghosted over the other's, never touching and her eyes closed as our foreheads rested together. "Neither do I."

Her hands rose to clasp my face, taking my bottom lip between hers with a shuddering breath, her body tense and rigid in my hold. "I feel you against me every night, and it's never enough. Because it always has to end, it's not real. I've ached for you every single night of this production. And the last two weeks, it's only been worse. Knowing that what I want, I can never have. It was easier when I thought it was just me."

Her words breathed heavily on my lips, I gripped her more firmly while trying to resist consuming her. I felt the skin of her forehead contract against mine as it furrowed, her hand dragging slowly along my cheek and down my neck to my shoulder.

"You have to go," she whispered with a heavy breath, her eyes gazing into mine. "I know."

I nodded, stepping back from her and grabbing my jacket off the back of the chair. I paused for a moment, looking down at the floor and then back up, returning to where she stood. My fingers were lost once again in the long soft strands of her hair while my lips sought out hers urgently.

"I'm sorry," I murmured against her before pulling away, leaving the room quickly, and racing out to my car.

The entire drive home, my stomach was in a knot and my chest felt as if it would implode, as I struggled to breathe. A strained growl erupted from me, my hands clenching tightly around the steering wheel until I pulled up in front of my house.

As I stepped inside, I barely ducked in time as I saw Jane hurl something at me, glass shattering and falling to the floor around me.

"You fucking bastard!" she screamed and I glanced down at the floor to the broken frame that held our wedding picture.

"How appropriate," I sneered sarcastically, kicking it aside and storming past her toward the stairs. I ascended them two at a time to the doorway of Aimee's room to find it vacant and glanced across the hall to find the same with Zach's. A breath of relief escaped me with the assured knowledge that they were still with their grandfather.

"I knew it. I fucking knew it was her," Jane's voice came from behind me and my body tensed in anger. I continued down the hall toward the bedroom, the door slamming against the wall as I thrust it open to enter. "It's so fucking obvious. Does the entire company know?"

"My private life is _private_, Jane," I replied, attempting to keep my voice level as I grabbed an overnight bag out of the closet and returned to my dresser. "And you damn well know it. No one there knows _shit_."

"You're practically screwing her up on that stage every night!" she shrieked back, waving her arms out aimlessly. "How can they _not_ know?"

"It's a fucking _play_! That's my _job_!" I screamed at her as my temper finally ignited, throwing the bag to the floor. "Yeah, I kissed her. More than once, if you really want to know. And if I had your lack of conscience, I probably would have already had sex with her as well. I don't know _what_ the fuck I am to you. Your fucking toy that you feel you can manipulate around? What do you want from me?"

"I want _you_¸ Edward!" she growled menacingly, storming toward me and pulling my lips to hers again. Her grip on me was like a vice, pinning me in place as I tried futilely to break away. "I love you. Can she say that? Maybe she's good in bed, but she can't love you like I do."

Gripping her forearms, I yanked them away forcefully and stepped back, shaking my head at her in disbelief. "I don't know what game you're trying to play, but I'm sick of it. And now with all your accusations on top of it, when it wouldn't surprise me in the least if _you_ were fucking around on _me_ again."

"Would it matter if I were?" she asked snidely, folding her arms over her chest.

"Not anymore," I retorted, snatching my bag off the floor and shoving some clothes into it.

"Now where are you going?" she gasped, grabbing my arm and trying to wrench it away from the drawer.

"Away from you. I'm done with you and this marriage," I sneered, twisting away from her and shoving the drawer closed. I hurried down the stairs, digging my keys out of my pocket as I went and reaching the front door before I heard her voice from the top of the stairs.

"You walk out that door, and you will _never_ see those kids again. Her or them, Edward. That's the only choice you have," she yelled and my hand froze on the doorknob, my heart pounding inside my chest. I turned my head to look back at her, gripping the banister tightly with one hand and her chin lifting in triumph.

"We'll see about that," I replied in a menacing tone, not missing the paling of her face as I spoke before I slammed the door behind me and walked out to my car.

I drove around for hours, trying to clear my head. Yet, in the end, my mind was on autopilot, with only one course. I pulled up to her house, knocking heavily on her door until the front light turned on and it swung open slowly. The moment she was fully in my view, I took two steps toward her and pulled her into my arms, my lips meeting hers heatedly. She guided me into the house until her back hit the wall, her fingers driving into my hair and holding me against her until we needed to break for air.

"You said full custody?" I heaved with my forehead resting against hers and my eyes closed, feeling her fingertips trail along my jaw and down my neck.

"Full custody," she whispered with a nod, brushing her lips softly against mine.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you all for your amazing support of this story, it was more than I could have ever expected, especially given the topic and situations. *big hugs to all***

**The last two lines of the previous chapter were obviously more confusing than I had intended. And for that, I apologize. Hopefully by the end of this chapter, it will be more clear what he meant when he said that. If not, an explanation will be given in the A/N at the end of the chapter. **

**Much love! **

* * *

**Part 4**

A tree branch tapping on the window in the breeze woke me the following morning just before dawn. That alone was an unfamiliar feeling, but then I felt a body shift beside me and I opened my eyes, gazing down at the soft brown strands that had just brushed against my chin. A soft sigh escaped her as I felt her leg drape over mine and her arm tighten around my waist. Memories of the previous evening assaulted me with a sudden vengeance as I ran my fingers along her bare shoulder…

**_The night before_**

_"You said full custody?"_

"_Full custody."_

_The soft touch of her lips was suddenly not enough and I pressed my body closer, claiming her more heatedly while she guided my jacket down my arms. Her whimpers became soft moans, gripping my shoulders as the kiss deepened, and we began slowly moving down the hall to her bedroom. _

_Standing beside her bed, she slid her hands around my hips and up the back of my shirt while mine held her face, brushing impassioned kisses against her lips and panting heavily with longing. "Do you want me to stop?"_

"_I should. But I don't," she replied as she gazed up at me, her eyes nearly black with desire as she lifted my t-shirt up over my head and tossed it across the room._

_Her lips pressed against my chest as my fingers grasped the thin straps of her nightgown and slid them off her shoulders. The satin fabric fluttered down her body and I felt her fingers at the waistline of my jeans, looking up at me as she slowly pressed the button through the hole and lowered the zipper. Her eyes anxiously searched mine until finally closing as I guided my pants over my hips and lowered her onto the bed, our lips sealing again in a passionate kiss. _

"_It feels like I've wanted you for so long," she breathed heavily, gripping my hair tight in her fist as a tear slid down her temple. "If you're going to walk away, do it now. Please."_

_My hand rose to cup along her jaw, kissing her forehead, cheek, and finally, her lips. "No more, Bella. This may be wrong, but I don't care about being right anymore. I want to touch you, and feel you. I can't fight it anymore."_

_Our hands began to explore each other desperately until not a single inch of fabric lay between us, and I settled above her. As her fingers hooked over my shoulders, I slowly pressed inside her, my body shuddering at the overwhelming sensation and a soft gasp escaping her lips. _

_With the first thrust, all inhibitions were lost for both of us; hands grasping, pants and moans filling the room around us unabashedly. More passion than I'd ever experienced, our desire for each other transparent in our gazes. _

_When she turned me onto my back, she hovered above me for a moment, rolling her hips against mine as her hair fell around our faces. A deep groan rumbled in my chest as she pressed me deep inside her before sitting up, her back arching slightly as her hands came to rest on my thighs._

"_Oh god," she whispered as she paused to slowly lower herself onto me, her face turned to rest on her shoulder with the look of rapture. My hands gripped onto her hips and began guiding her movements over me, feeling her muscles contract and release beneath my touch. "Edward…"_

_Her hands gripped my forearms and began moving more urgently, her breaths becoming more ragged as the sheen of sweat began glistening off her skin in the moonlight shining from the window. The soft whimpers escaping her lips grew more pleading and I slid my arms around her, pulling her down to me and capturing her lips. Her deep moan vibrated against my chest as I rolled us back over, hooking her leg around me and burying myself inside her again. As our bodies rocked together, her fingers found purchase in my hair and our eyes locked, panting heavily between brief kisses. _

"_I'm gonna…" I strained, my brow furrowing as I felt the perspiration beading there. _

"_Me, too," she breathed out in a rush, arching her back as my lips brushed along her neck. Her leg tightened on my hip as her body began to tremble, her breath hitched in her throat as her nails dug into my shoulders._

_With an animalistic growl in response, my release joined hers and I buried my face in the crook of her neck, gasping for air._

_When I finally rolled off her and onto the bed, I stared up at the ceiling and ran over in my mind what had just happened. For the first time in over twelve years, I'd had sex with woman that wasn't my wife. Enjoyed the feel of her touch and the warmth of her body. _

_I felt the tug of the sheet around my waist and glanced over to her, finding her sitting up and holding the covers to her chest. Her eyes fell to her knees as they bent in front of her, and her hands tightened around the fabric against her skin. "You regret it already, don't you?"_

_I rose up beside her, turning her face toward me with my fingertips. Tracing them over her cheek, I kissed her gently and watched her eyes avert from mine as her tears began falling again. "No. I don't. What does that say about me?"_

_She brought her gaze back to mine as my thumb brushed along her damp skin, lifting her hand to my wrist and kissing the inside of it. "That you're unhappy and have a decision to make. One that's right for you, as well as everyone else."_

_I took a deep breath and nodded, hooking my finger under her chin and bringing her closer. "C'mere," I whispered softly as I kissed her again, her other hand releasing the sheet and allowing it to fall to her waist. _

_As I slowly lowered her back to the bed, her arms slid back around me and she lightly traced her fingertips along my back as her lips moved sensuously against mine. Simple touches that continued until we both fell asleep…_

Now lying with her in my arms, I still felt the same sense of serenity I'd fallen asleep with; what I had missed so much in the last three years. Sex could be easily replaced. The comfort of a woman's arms, the intimacy shared between two people in the simple gestures of touches and looks, was more difficult. The natural pleasure of waking up in the morning with a woman beside me, and not wanting to move – as I felt right at that very minute.

I lost all sense of time as I laid there breathing in the scent of her hair, enjoying the feel of her head on my chest, and eventually, fell back asleep. When my eyes opened again, they were met by the daylight filtering in through the window, and looking beside me, I found the space vacant and the smell of coffee and bacon filled the air.

Lifting the covers off me, I stood and pulled my jeans on, making my way toward the sounds from down the hall. Stopping just inside the kitchen, I found her by the stove, standing in a thigh length bathrobe and bare feet. Her long brown hair was pinned up on the back of her head with loose tendrils hanging down her neck. As if sensing my presence, she turned to look over her shoulder and gave me a small smile.

"Morning," she said softly before turning her attention back to the pan, pointing beside her with the spatula. "There's coffee made, if you'd like some."

"No, thank you," I replied and sat down at the small table at the end of the room, driving my hands into my hair. Her body language and demeanor spoke volumes as she avoided looking at me again, her back stiffening as she walked across the kitchen. "I'm sorry about last night, Bella."

"Edward, don't," she replied, setting a plate down on the table in front of me. "I was just as much in the wrong. I could have, and should have, stopped you."

My hands released my hair and rested on her waist, pulling her closer to stand between my legs. "I meant coming here and invading on your evening. My behavior last night was completely inexcusable, and I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize." Her fingers trailed through my hair and I closed my eyes, drowning in the sensation of another simple yet intimate touch. Something I hadn't felt in far too long and caused my body to ache with longing. I brought my fingers to wrap around hers, lowering her hand to brush my lips on the inside of her wrist. "I'm still leaving."

I sighed heavily, pressing our joined hands against my cheek before opening my eyes to gaze into hers, seeing all the conflict and turmoil raging there that I felt inside me as well. Even though I was certain I already knew the answer, I had to ask anyway. "Why?"

Her head bent down and I gently guided her to my lap, her legs on either side of mine. I brushed her hair back from her face and tilted her head up, kissing her gently. Her forehead rested against mine as her fingers traced along my jaw, my arms sliding around her waist. "I can't be the other woman, Edward. And I won't be the rebound. Even if you _are_ going to leave your wife, it _has_ to be for the right reasons."

"I _did_ leave my wife," I replied, tightening my hold around her and closing my eyes as I felt her lips against my temple. I knew she was right, that I needed to sort out the mess my own life is in before I could drag someone else into it, but the thought of her leaving terrified me. The only time I'd felt truly alive in three years, was when I was with her. I wasn't exhausting myself trying to forge a mask with her as I was with the rest of the world; I didn't have to pretend to be anything but exactly who I was. "Will I ever see you again?"

Her lips slowly spread into a small smile and she gave me a gentle kiss. "I'd like to think so. I have something for you."

My eyes rose to her again, and she pulled a slip of paper out of the pocket of her bathrobe and held it up in between us. As I took it into my hand and read it, looking back up to her sharply.

"I talked to my dad. If you decide to go that route, this is the law firm he used for the custody hearings. It was several years ago, obviously, but they're good. It's very obvious how much you love those kids," she said softly and bit her lip, before returning her eyes to mine. Her hand wrapped around mine and turned the paper over in my fingers. "And that's my phone number if you ever want to talk."

I sighed heavily as she pulled back, standing off my legs and straightening her robe before moving back to the stove. I stood from the chair, walking up behind her and resting my hands on her waist, my lips against her ear. "I wish you'd stay," I whispered and felt her body shudder against me, closing her eyes and resting her head back on my chest.

"I wish that I could." Her eyes pinched tightly and a single tear escaped down her cheek as she pulled my arms around her, nestling back into me. My lips pressed to her hair as her hand gripped my arm, holding it to her stomach. "What I'd give to know that you'd never go back to her."

She turned her head to look at me with trails of tears running down both cheeks, raising one hand to rest along my jaw and meeting my lips with hers. Bringing her to face me, my fingers returned to her hair as the kiss deepened and her arms wrapped around my shoulders, lifting up on her toes to press herself closer. Still holding onto me, her lips parted from mine and she looked into my eyes.

"It's just not time for us," she answered quietly, brushing her lips against mine once more.

**o~O~o**

Parked in the driveway of my house later that afternoon, I stared at the front door as I leaned on the steering wheel, knowing exactly what I had to go in there and do. I felt my stomach turn and my throat tighten, slowly drawing in a deep breath as my hand reached for the handle and stepping out of the car.

"Daddy!" Aimee called out as soon as I opened the front door, springing off the same steps I'd found her on the night before and running toward me, hugging me around the waist.

"Hi, princess. Where's Mommy?" I asked as I kissed the top of her head.

"Upstairs. She hasn't come down yet. I made Zach his breakfast and lunch again today," she replied with a small, sad smile.

"Again?" I asked, crouching down in front of her and her eyes fell guiltily. "Baby, has this happened before?"

Her tiny body began retracting into itself slightly as tears began forming in her eyes. "She wouldn't come down."

"Aimee, has Mommy left you to take care of Zach while I wasn't home before?" I reiterated, tilting my head to catch her eye and she nodded subtly. I drew her into my arms and rocked her gently, kissing her hair and attempting to keep my voice calm. "That's my big girl. Now go play with your brother. I'll be down in a few."

I took the stairs two at a time, stalking down the hall and swinging the bedroom door open angrily. Jane was pale, staring out the window and rocking in the chair, her bathrobe wrapped tightly around her. From the bags under her eyes and the red rims of her lids, it was obvious she didn't sleep much—if at all—the night before.

"Did you fuck her?" Her voice echoed through the room, but her gaze never wavered.

I walked over to the bed, sitting down on the edge and leaning forward on my knees, attempting to curb my temper before looking back to her. "Does it really matter to you, Jane?"

"Just answer the question," she said just as flatly, though her eyes flickered slightly as she swallowed hard.

"Yes, I had sex with her. But what difference would it have made, whether I did or didn't? Honestly," I asked, shaking my head.

"Because maybe now you can forgive me?" she replied, turning to face me and looking down to my hands, her entire body beginning to tremble. "No, Edward."

I remained silent as I stood, walking over to her with the folder in my hand and set it down in her lap. "I can't. And I'm not going to hurt my children any more by trying to for one more day. I meant what I said last night. It's been over for a long time, and we both know it," I said as calmly as I could before leaning down on the arm of the chair, bringing my face to hers. "But if you think I'm going to leave them with a mother who can't think beyond herself to even go downstairs and manage the simple task of feeding them, leaving our toddler in the care of our eight year old, you are sadly mistaken."

Her eyes widened as I pushed away from the chair and I could hear her calling out from behind me as I left the room, hurrying downstairs before she caught my arm at the landing. "You can't take my kids."

"They're _my_ kids, too. And they've _always_ been my top priority," I sneered and ripped my arm out of her grasp, looking into the living room to the confused gazes of the kids. "Aimee, get your jacket and your brother's, we're going to out."

As I lifted Zach from the floor, Jane grabbed onto him as well and shook her head as she looked up at me. "Where are you taking them?" she asked desperately and then her features tensed. "To her. You're taking them to _her_? No way. There is no way in hell you are taking _my_ children to that _whore_."

"Glass houses, Jane," I growled, trying my best to keep my temper in front of the kids as Zach began to cry when she tried pulling him from my hold. "I am taking them somewhere that they will actually be taken care of. Now let him go!"

Our gazes remained in a tense lock as I gritted the last words through my teeth, but she stood firm, shaking her head.

"Stop it! You're scaring him!" Aimee screamed from the doorway, followed by a sob shuddering through her entire body. "Stop fighting already!"

We both turned our heads quickly toward her, her tiny hand roughly brushing away the tears flowing down her cheeks. Jane lowered herself into the chair beside her, effectively releasing Zach and I took his coat from Aimee, sliding his arms through it. "Mommy's not feeling good today, so Daddy's gonna take you over to see Grandpa. Okay?"

Aimee looked between the two of us and then nodded, wrapping her arms around my neck as I lifted her into one arm while the other held onto Zach. Once I got them settled into the car, I looked up to the door one more time, half-expecting Jane to be standing there, but she wasn't. Shaking my head, I got in, starting it up and pulling out of the driveway to head back to my father's house.

"You _are_ getting a divorce, huh?" my daughter's soft voice came from the back seat and I glanced at her in the rearview mirror, sighing heavily as I nodded. "I knew it. When you didn't answer me that night, I knew it. You _always _answer me, Dad."

I watched her gaze turn out the window and she remained silent for the rest of the ride. When I pulled into my dad's driveway, he came out the front door, a look of utter confusion on his face. I stepped out of the car and nodded to the opposite side, where Zach lay asleep in his car seat. "Can you get him, please?"

He nodded and retrieved him from the car, and I opened Aimee's door to let her out. She remained stationary in the seat, picking lightly at the hem of her jacket. Unbuckling her seat belt, I lifted her out of the car, carrying her toward the house and stopping on the porch. As soon as my father closed the door behind him, I sat down with my daughter in my lap on the swing hanging there and rocked with her gently.

"Baby, I didn't _have_ an answer for you that night," I said gently, and her face nuzzled into my neck.

**o~O~o**

Stepping out of the spare bedroom quietly, I gave one last look back to my two sleeping children in the bed inside before I closed the door. Aimee had cried herself to sleep in my arms hours before as we sat on the bed talking, and Zach climbed up to join us shortly thereafter. I listened as my father moved around outside the room while I laid there holding them, truly unsure of what I was going to tell him about what had led me to his door that day.

And as I walked out into the living room, he glanced up from his newspaper at me and offered me a brief smile. The look on his face was the same one I remembered as a child, when I'd hidden something from him that he was waiting for me to confess to. Running my hand through my hair, I inhaled deeply and shook my head, still unable to find the words.

"I know, son," he said suddenly in a soft voice, and my eyes shot to him in confusion. "I may not have the intuition that your mother had, but I know when my boy isn't happy."

Walking over to the couch, I sat down beside him and exhaled a heavy breath as my eyes remained on the floor. "How long have you known?"

"Long enough," he replied, setting his newspaper on the table. "When you first married that girl, you reminded me so much of your mother. All your optimism for the future, the way you adored her, even before the babies came along. And then, the last few years, you became too much like your old man. Sitting back and just letting life happen around you."

"You never said anything," I said with a soft, dry laugh.

"It wasn't my place, Edward. You're a grown man and it was something I had to let you figure out on your own, and then come to me," he responded calmly, folding his hands in front of him. "And now that you have, you'll only hear one piece of advice from me. Life is short and shouldn't be taken for granted, son. You need to enjoy every moment you can, regardless of how that might come about. If losing your mother has taught me anything, it's that. I'll never get those years back that I should have been spending every moment I could with her, and you. I thought I had all the time in the world. I got a second chance with you, but it was too late with her."

Feeling my heart racing in my chest, I finally lifted my gaze from the rug, yet still couldn't bring myself to look my own father in the eyes. Regardless of what I'd done with my life, I'd never experienced anything but pride from him, even when I told him that I wanted to be an actor. He was a good man and a wonderful father, and I never wanted to be the cause of disappointment for him. And for the first time in thirty-one years, I truly feared that I would be just that.

"I filed for divorce, Dad," I sighed heavily, staring up at the ceiling.

I heard him inhale deeply and clear his throat beside me, and I glanced over to see him nodding slowly. "Is it really that bad?"

"Yeah, it's really that bad," I replied, attempting to keep my emotions at bay as I summarized my reasons, more of it settling in with me as I explained to the one man whom I could tell anything. "I just couldn't let it go, and then I simply lost it. I know it was wrong but I grew up watching you and mom, how happy and committed to each other you were. How _in love_ you were. And while I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, it didn't teach me how to handle it when my own wife cheated on me."

As I rested my elbows on my knees and drove my hands into my hair, I felt his come to rest on my shoulder and grip it gently. "Son, no marriage is perfect, even ones that appear that way from the outside," he said gently, and I turned to look at him with a furrowed brow. "Your mother and I had our problems, but we were always able to work through them."

"Dad," I released a heavy breath, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"Let me finish," he continued firmly, and I allowed my hand to drop and nodded. "Some things aren't meant to be forgiven or worked through. I'm not saying you were any more in the right than she was. But in eighteen years of marriage, your mother and I never gave each other reason to lose trust or respect for the other. And that's why, in more than eleven years since she was taken from us, there's never been a soul who could take her place. You can't have love without either of those, and we had both. Jane destroyed that the moment she betrayed the vows she made to you, and your actions merely sealed the inevitable. As much as I know you love those children, you cannot be a good father in those conditions. So I'm proud of you, and I will do anything I can to help you, Edward."

"Thank you," I replied sincerely, giving a small, appreciative smile.

"Though if I could offer just one more piece of advice?"

"Sure," I mumbled with a slight shrug.

"I watched your face when you were talking about this girl. This... Bella?" he began and I nodded in affirmation. "It's obvious how much you think of her. Just remember that it's not only _your_ heart on the line. I can see how much you don't want her to go, but what's meant to be will make itself happen without any interference from us. You _have_ to let her go if you have any hope of something good with her."

My jaw clenched and my throat tightened, as Bella's words from that morning rang through my head. _It's just not time for us_, she whispered against my lips and I felt my heart constrict in response just as I had all those hours before. I knew my father was right, just as she was, but the idea of being as alone and empty as I'd felt for the last three years caused fear to ripple through me.

My father nodded in understanding as I looked at him, not needing to utter a single word for him to read my eyes.

I needed to see Bella.

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**A/N 2: As promised, the "full custody" thing will be explained here. **

**When Edward and Bella went out for coffee and he began explaining his home situation to her, she told him that being the dad didn't automatically mean losing the kids. That her father had gained full custody of her because he was the better parent. And that was something that stuck in Edward's mind since then. :)**

**Thanks again everyone!  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So I meant to update last week and got so busy that I forgot :( Sorry about the delay, and hope you enjoy. **

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**Part 5**

Knocking gently on her door and praying that I wouldn't be waking her, I stood on her doorstep for the second night in a row. The only sign of life from inside was the blue tinted, flickering light from the television in her front window, until I caught a movement of the curtain in the window. A moment later, she was standing in front of me as she opened the door, dressed in sweats and her eyes swollen and red.

Before either of us could utter a word, she stepped out the door and slid her arms around my neck, rising up on her toes to bury her face in my neck. Her body shook slightly as I held her against me, resting my lips on her shoulder as hers brushed along my skin.

Inhaling deeply, she pulled away and took my hand, wiping her tears with the backs of her fingers. "I'm sorry. Come on in."

Guiding me inside and shutting the door, she led me into the living room, where we sat together silently for several minutes.

"I served Jane this afternoon," I broke the silence and her finger halted its movement on my chest, lowering her arm to drape across my stomach.

"I assume she didn't take it well, then?" she said, her hold tightening slightly around my waist as she tilted her head up to look at me.

I sighed heavily, shaking my head. "No, she didn't take it well at all. I guess she actually thought that if I slept with you, I would forgive her."

"So she knows?" she began and then took a deep breath when I nodded. "That's not why you left her, is it?"

Sliding my arms around her, I pulled her back against me and pressed my lips to her hair as she nuzzled against my chest. "No, I didn't leave her because of what happened between us. I just happened to realize exactly how over my marriage actually was when I woke up with you in my arms." Her tear-filled eyes met mine again and her finger traced along my jaw. "I felt alive again, Bella. For the first time in years, I felt something resembling happiness, and I realized just how much I missed that. My kids deserve to have _that_ man as a father, not just the shell of existence I've been all this time."

Lowering my lips to hers again, I felt her arms slide around me as she lay back on the couch, pulling me with her until my body settled atop of hers. Her fingers ran slowly over my back and held me against her, her caresses never forceful or needy, yet I still felt it necessary to break the kiss. She swallowed hard and breathed out slowly as our foreheads rested together, her hands resting on my waist. "But you still need time."

I gently brushed her cheek with my fingertips and nodded, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. "You were right. It's just not time for us."

Her eyes closed again, another tear trailing along her temple as her hands ran up my sides to pull me closer. "Will you make love to me again? Just once more before I go?"

My lips met hers again gently and her arms returned around my waist, just as a heavy knock came to the door. She broke away from me and gazed toward it in confusion before standing up, making her way out there. "Dad? What are you doing here at this hour?"

"I wish this _was_ a social call, Bells. But I'm looking for the man whose car is parked in your driveway?" I heard the man's voice respond and I stood from the couch, making my way out to the front hallway to find an older, uniformed man standing in her doorway.

"That would be me, sir," I replied before she could, almost expecting his presence here tonight and found myself wondering what had taken Jane so long.

"Are you Edward Cullen?" he asked firmly and I nodded in response. "We've been looking for you. I'm gonna have to ask you to come with me."

Bella's face fell and her eyes moved sharply over to me, shaking her head before returning her gaze to the man. "Dad, this is all a huge misunderstanding."

"It's fine, Bella," I said, walking toward them and stopping in front of him. "Sir, I couldn't leave my kids with their mother tonight. She wasn't in any kind of state..."

"I still need you to come with me," he interrupted with a tense look on his face. "It's concerning your wife."

My baffled gaze matched Bella's as we both stared at him, his eyes never leaving me but simply stepped back and gestured with his hand toward the cruiser. "Mr. Cullen?"

I followed the officer outside as he began to speak to me again. "We've been trying to get in touch with you for about an hour now, since just after the call came in. You weren't answering your cell, so we tracked down your license plate number. One of your neighbors informed us that you left early this afternoon with the children."

_Mrs. Pike,_ I thought to myself, rolling my eyes as we got into the car and drove in the direction of my house. Sometimes I swore that woman was a permanent fixture by her front window with binoculars always at the ready.

"May I ask where your children are at this time?" he inquired, glancing over at me briefly from the corner of his eye and continued to drive.

"They are with my father, sir," I replied, gripping my knees with my hands.

"Good," he answered, causing my head to spin toward him in surprise.

However, all coherent thought was swept away as the sight of flashing red and blue lights illuminated the darkness ahead of me, flickering off the now black, smoldering front of what used to be my house. No sooner had the car stopped and I immediately sprung from it, ducking under the yellow tape, and gasping at the closer view of the structure. My stomach turned at the image of the entire left side of the roof completely collapsed in, right over what would have been Zach's bed, and I felt the blood drain from my face.

Our bedroom was right behind that as well.

"Excuse me? What happened?" I asked in a rush as another officer came walking toward me.

"Is this your residence, sir?" he asked in an almost urgent tone and I nodded, before he motioned for me to follow him. "Your wife has refused treatment or even to speak to us until you got here."

"Sounds like Jane," I retorted with a roll of my eyes and halted in my steps as I spotted her. She was seated in front of the house, staring up at it and seemingly oblivious to all around her. "Jane?"

Her head snapped toward me and I jumped back at the sight of her arm shooting out with a long knife in her hand. She slowly lowered it and began to laugh, and any resemblance to the woman I married ten years before completely vanished. Scrapes and cuts scattered along her face among the smudges of black soot, her hair frayed wildly around her, and even the laughter emitting from her was that of a woman I couldn't recognize. "They're in there. On the bed. I watched them burn. You're my husband, Edward. You'll always _be_ my husband, and I'll always be your wife. It's fate, remember? We're a family, we belong together."

I sighed heavily, crouching down beside her and tossing the knife in her hand aside wordlessly. Lifting her into my arms and carrying her over to the ambulance, setting her down on the waiting stretcher. "You think by burning our divorce papers that it changes anything? Jane, our _kids_ could have been in that house. You could've gotten trapped in there. What the hell were you thinking?"

"You took them. You took my babies," she replied in an almost incoherent voice, staring off aimlessly. "I won't divorce you, Edward. I'll never sign those papers."

"Jane," I said firmly, taking her by the shoulders and startling her into looking at me. "Sign them or not, it's still happening. I don't love you anymore, and you just set fire to our _house_. No judge in the world is going to deny me a divorce, or the kids."

"She's not going to raise my kids! Over my dead body is she going to raise my kids!" Jane suddenly sat up seething, the feral look in her eyes as she lunged toward me causing the paramedics to strap her down as she screamed in protest.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I watched them load her into the ambulance, hissing strings of obscenities at me. I began wondering once again what happened to the sweet, beautiful Jane I met all those years before, shell-shocked that the woman being carried away in the back of that vehicle was actually her. Startled by a hand coming to rest on my shoulder, I turned my head quickly to find Bella's father standing beside me again.

"I'm afraid we'll need you down at the hospital," he said sympathetically and all I could do to respond was nod numbly.

**o~O~o**

The sun was just beginning to rise when I made my way back to Bella's, and I stood stiffly as she embraced me upon opening the door with a heavy sigh of relief.

"Edward, what happened?" she asked urgently, pulling away to stand in front of me and taking my face in her hands. "My dad called and told me about the fire. Are you okay?"

"Fine," I said, staring past her. "I've just been up all night and couldn't let the kids see me like this."

She led me over to the couch and sat me down, settling beside me and holding my hand. As the fingers of her free hand began to trace through my hair, I felt the last shred of my resolve begin to crack and when her lips pressed against my temple, it shattered.

"What am I supposed to tell them? I just had to commit their mother into a psychiatric hospital," I choked out, my throat tightening against the words attempting to form. "How do I explain that to an eight and two year old? God, what if they'd been in that house?"

Holding my head in my hands, I felt her arms encircle my shoulders and pull me to her, my face pressing against her chest as I hugged tightly around her waist. "They weren't, Edward. They were safe with your dad," she murmured against my hair, running her hand soothingly along my back. "I'm no expert on raising children, but speaking from my own experience when my mom left, the best thing you can do is be as honest as you can with them."

I pulled back from her sharply in surprise, searching her face in confusion. "What? You think I should just tell them that I've had their mom locked up?"

"Well, of course not _just_ like that," she replied and my body relaxed slightly. "When my dad told me about my mom, I was six. She left the state with another man with divorce papers already drawn, and leaving my dad completely devastated. But you know what he told me? That my mom went to live with a friend and I wouldn't be able to see her as much, but they both loved me no matter what. They don't need the gory details, Edward. Just that Mommy is sick and Daddy will take care of them, and that they're loved. It's not a lie or even a fabrication."

I closed my eyes and lowered my head into her lap, longing to once again feel her fingers in my hair, to experience the comfort in her touch. It wasn't more than a few seconds before the wish was granted and I sighed in exhaustion. "Why does this feel so free and easy with you? We barely know each other."

Her response became muffled as fatigue drew me in.

**o~O~o**

The following days passed in a flurry, with situating the kids at my father's and having to explain, as best I could, why they couldn't go home. Along with trying to find a new place to live, while still managing the last few performances I'd have with Bella.

The final night was noticeably difficult on us both, as our touches grew more urgent, our lines delivered more desperately, our kisses more heated; and it was said to be the best performance of the season.

After the show, I changed quickly with every intention of simply leaving and going home to my kids. Yet, I stood with my hand on the exit door, frozen in my place and unable to move.

"Not even going to say goodbye?" her voice sounded from behind me and my head fell back, my eyes closed as I sighed heavily.

"When do you leave?" I managed to say without my voice cracking, my grip tightening on the doorknob.

Silence filled the room, with only the sounds of our breaths surrounding us, until she finally broke it again. "Tonight."

I brought my head back up and gazed at my hand on the doorknob, willing it to turn the metal ball and release me from that moment. I couldn't look at her and say goodbye, not knowing if and when I would ever see her again. "It's probably better this way."

"Edward." Her strangled tone gave me a clear vision of her face, even without turning around to view it. Tears would be filling her eyes, her lips would be trembling until she took her lower one between her teeth. I felt her hand on my arm, turning me to face her and that very image was displayed before me.

"I've caused enough of tears, Bella," I said as I brushed away an escaped one trailing down her cheek. "I'm no good for you right now. Maybe someday, I will be, and hopefully by then, I won't be too late. I can't hurt you anymore."

"Then don't walk away right now," she replied softly, her hands rising to gently grip my jacket. "Kiss me goodbye."

It took everything in me to resist claiming her lips passionately, instead taking her face between my hands and pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. Her shoulders fell slightly and her eyes pinched closed as I pulled away, her lips forming a hard line before she looked back to me again.

"Goodbye, Bella," I said dryly and turned away quickly to walk out the door, leaving her standing there with a look of devastation on her face.

I had just made it to my car door when I felt a sharp pull on my arm, turning me roughly to come face to face with her again. Squinting slightly against the heavy downpour pelting against her skin, she took my face in her hands and shook her head. "I don't fucking think so."

Her lips crashed onto mine and her fingers fisted in my hair, pressing her quickly dampening body against mine. My arms locked around her waist as I indulged in the feel of her one more time, every sound and movement she made, the scent of her skin exemplified by the rain, and how for just one more moment, I was happy.

When she finally pulled away, her tongue swept slowly across her lip before her eyes opened again to look at me. "Something to remember you by," she said sadly, brushing a last, soft kiss on my lips. "You have my number. Don't be afraid to use it."

Extracting herself from my hold, she backed away and ran across the lot toward the awaiting cab, waving once before stepping in.

And I watched her being carried out of my life.

**o~O~o**

_Six months later_

Sitting on a park bench, watching Aimee chasing Zach around on the grass, I found my mind drifting back to that night. How much I'd wished that I could have held on longer, kissed her for just a few more seconds. Wished that I was ready for her then.

Yet she was never far from my thoughts. I hadn't spoken to her since right after she left, when I called to make sure she'd gotten to LA safely. Since then, I had no idea what I would say to her if I _did_ call.

_I miss you with every fiber of my being._

_This emptiness I feel is killing me._

_I want you to come back._

Nothing seemed crucial enough to bother her, but I still found ways to check in on her without her ever knowing. Her audition had landed her with a major leading role and it had opened doors for her that she would've never found in Washington—and rumor had it that she would now be heading for New York. Clear on the other side of the country, and while it was an amazing opportunity for her, I knew my time was running out; if it hadn't already.

"You seem a million miles away," a voice startled me from my thoughts and I turned my head sharply, coming face to face with my now ex-wife. I hadn't seen her without a mediator in months, and never outside a courtroom. The tension filling the air between us was enough to knot my stomach. "Theresa isn't here yet?"

I shook my head and looked back at the kids, who squealed at the sight of their mother and ran to her, each of them embracing her tightly. Theresa, the worker assigned by the court to supervise the visits between Jane and the kids, had already called and said that she was running a few minutes late. Which now left us both trapped in an awkward situation. "You're early."

The stiffness in my voice caused her to straighten, drawing a deep breath before looking back to the children. "Give Mommy a minute with Daddy? Go on and play, and I'll be right there."

They nodded compliantly and ran back out into the field, and I felt every muscle in my body tense as Jane walked over to sit beside me. "I have nothing to say, Jane."

"I do, Edward," she responded, though without the hostility that I'd become accustomed to in the last years of our marriage. "Look, I know we've agreed not to have contact with each other, and I know I've hurt you. But I'm better now, a lot better. The doctors have started me on this new med that has really helped stabilize my mood swings, and now we know what's wrong. It's manageable as long as I keep up with treatment."

"That's wonderful, Jane. For the kids' sakes, I'm glad," I replied tonelessly, keeping my eyes on the two blonde children rolling around on the grass.

"What about you?" she asked in a lowered voice and I could feel her gaze locked on me.

"What _about_ me?" I retorted, finally turning to look at her.

"Things would be better. We could start over. You, me, and the kids. Despite everything I've done, I really do still love you. Maybe we could try counseling or something," she said, resting her hand on my shoulder and I shifted my body away.

"It's too late for that, Jane. You know that," I replied, facing forward again. "Not everything can be fixed or taken back because… of what you have. Nor can everything be blamed on it. Too much has been done and said between us, on both sides. We can't take it back and I can't return your sentiments anymore, not even for my kids."

"I kinda figured you'd say that," she said with a sad laugh, staring down at her clasped hands with a tear beading in the corner of her eye. I stood with a heavy sigh, taking a few steps away from her and folding my arms over my chest, growing more uncomfortable in her presence. "I _am_ sorry, Edward."

"I know you are," I replied honestly as I looked over my shoulder at her for a moment before turning away again. "As am I. But it still doesn't change anything."

"I know. I just needed you to know that, since I don't know if or when I'm ever going to have the chance to see you again. Eight weeks in a psychiatric unit leaves you with a whole lot of time on your hands to think," she murmured and an awkward silence stretched between us, hanging heavily in the air. "So, do you still see her? The actress?"

"Jane," I sighed with a slight groan, turning around to face her. "I'm not going to do this with you. You are here to see our children, that's it."

"You just seemed different with her. More of the man I fell in love with," she replied and rose off the bench, walking toward the children.

As I spotted Theresa rushing to make her way over to us, my body tensed with a sudden urgency. My heart suddenly began racing and my throat tightened, my breaths coming in short bursts and I felt the need to get out of there.

"Sorry I'm late," Theresa said, halting in her steps as I felt her eyes on me. "Mr. Cullen? Are you all right?"

"Yeah," I replied in a soft distant tone before bringing my gaze to hers. "My father will be picking up the children this afternoon. I've had something come up."

Her eyes widened for a brief moment and then nodded her head. Turning quickly, I raced back to the parking lot, digging my keys out of my jeans pocket on the way and starting the car the moment I was inside.

After one brief phone call to my father, with his understanding voice agreeing to pick up Aimee and Zach, and stopping at home for some essentials for the road, I was on the 101—toward my destination.

**o~O~o**

My mind was racing and I couldn't sleep throughout the entire twenty hour drive, even when I attempted to pull into a motel a little more than halfway through. Nor when I attempted again when I reached my destination, though I did manage to shower and change, at least killing a little time before that night. I was restless, anxious to not waste one more moment.

Leaning back against the hood of my car, I stared at the back door of the large theater, feeling the perspiration beading on my forehead that had nothing to do with the heat. It was the moment I'd both longed for and dreaded in equal measure, unsure of the result, and I felt my heart beating faster when the door swung open. The first person walked out of the building, and my breath released in a heavy rush when it was a tall, slender male. Each individual that matriculated from the building caused the same sharp intake and exaggerated release, until I finally began to question my motives behind coming. After it seemed as if everyone had left, I pushed off my car and made my way back to the driver's side.

"Oh my God," I heard the soft voice following the echoing squeal of the door hinge, and I froze in place. "Edward?"

I closed my eyes and drew in a deep breath, rubbing my hands roughly over my face before turning to face her. My gaze met hers and even from the distance, I could clearly view the lights from above catching the glint of tears in her eyes. Her hand rose to cover her mouth, but she made no other movement either toward or away from me.

I sighed and began moving toward her, stopping only feet away. "Am I too late, Bella?"


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Slowly but surely, I am making my way through all my updates. LNE will be next, and the chapter is nearly finished. So *crossing fingers* hopefully within the week. **

**Karla and Erica, again thank you for coming through in a pinch and reading this over for me. You two are lifesavers MWAH! **

**And thank you again to all my readers who have been so amazingly patient with me over the last few months of RL and internet issues. You all are the best!**

**Part 6 **

_"Am I too late, Bella?"_

She stood motionless and silent, her lip quivering as her hand fell away and a tear escaped down her cheek. "I thought you'd forgotten me."

I stood staring at her in disbelief, until rational thought came crashing down on me. With no contact in months, how could she have believed anything different? And horror grasped my heart as I ran over dozens of scenarios in my mind of things she could have believed. Had I returned to Jane? Had I simply moved on to the next beautiful counterpart in another play? Had she been nothing more than a means to an end?

Before my lips could formulate another word, I began moving toward her and she quickly met me halfway, her arms clinging around me as she cried into my shoulder. Wrapping my arms tightly around her waist, I lifted her from the ground, her body trembling in my hold as I hugged her tightly. "Hell no. There's no way."

Her head lifted to look at me, tracing one of her hands along my cheek and releasing a breathy laugh. "You're really here?"

Swallowing hard, I nodded as my eyes fell to her lips, inching my face closer to hers to gauge her response. Her eyes closed and she tilted her head slightly, her fingers weaving into my hair to guide me closer until our lips met in a brief, shaky kiss. Our gazes locked for a moment before we came back together heatedly, gripping each other feverishly as her legs wrapped around my waist.

"God, I've missed you," I panted against her lips and her arms tightened their hold on my shoulders, pressing her body more firmly against me. "I could never tell you exactly how much."

"Then what took you so long?" she breathed out, more tears streaming down her face as her forehead rested against mine. "Why didn't you call?"

"Because I'm an idiot?" I replied and she gave a small laugh, unhooking her legs from around me and lowering them back to the ground.

Bella took my left hand into hers and brought it to eye level. She brushed her lips against my bare third finger, her eyes meeting mine in silent inquiry. I slowly nodded and her hands rose to my face, pulling me in for one more kiss. "As happy as I am to see you, I really think we should get out of the parking lot and somewhere a little more private."

**o~O~o**

Our bodies crashed into the wall in the entryway of her house, panting breaths and fevered kisses filling the air around us as we tore at each other's clothes. Gripping the bottom of the black tank top she wore, I heard the straining of fabric stretching in my fists as her body glided against my hardened erection. The sound of the shattering glass of a vase echoed through the small area when we knocked into the table in the hall as we kicked off our shoes. Making our way to the top of the stairs, Bella's fingers grasped the front of my shirt to pull me through the adjacent doorway. Slamming the door closed behind us, she parted her lips from mine and lifted the garment over my head.

Her nails dragged down my bare abdomen and my hands slid around her hips, cupping her ass. I kissed her eagerly as I backed her toward the bed and she moaned against my lips.

"I thought we were going to talk," I rasped in a gravelly voice as our holds tightened on each other.

"Later," she whispered hoarsely, turning us around and pushing me down on the mattress. Bella stared down at me long enough to pull the hair tie from her ponytail and shake out her dark hair. I couldn't help but groan at the sight of it cascading around her shoulders. "But I need you _now_."

I sat up and brought my fingers to the button of her tiny denim shorts, unfastening them and anxiously tugging them along with her panties down her smooth legs.

Pressing my shoulders with her hands, she pushed me back again and slid up my thighs to settle over my hips. Reaching back and unhooking her bra, her eyes locked with mine as it dropped from her shoulders and she tossed it to the end of the bed. I slid my arm around her waist and pulled her down to me, rolling her onto her back and crashing my lips onto hers.

"Fuck me, Edward," she growled, lifting her hips from the bed to press against me.

I rose to stand at her feet, removing the remainder of my clothes and falling back to the bed between her parted legs. Supporting myself on my arms above her, I marveled at the view of her body as it arched violently when I thrust inside her. A sharp hiss escaped her and I felt her fingernails claw into my back.

The room filled with the sound of our unintelligible groans and muffled cries as our bodies moved frantically against each other, desperate for release after the six long months apart. Her brow creased as beads of perspiration began to form there, her grip on my sides tightening with the increased pitch of her cries.

"Shit… oh God." She strained to speak, her teeth clenching as she met my movements more insistently. Releasing her hold from my sides, her arms stretched above her head and gripped the other side of the mattress as she arched her hips toward me.

"Fuck!" I groaned and took a sharp draw of breath. It froze in my throat as the angle drove me deeper and the tightening sensation began. Her head thrashed from side to side while she cried out in orgasm and that sight alone was enough to make me come, even if I hadn't been close already.

"God yes, fuck fuck _fuck!_" she exclaimed when my thrusts intensified with my impending release, quickening in pace until it finally rushed through me.

Collapsing onto the bed beside her, I labored to catch my breath until I heard her begin to chuckle in heavy pants. I turned my head to look at her in confusion and her eyes met mine, her hand taking mine in-between us.

"So how've you been?" she said with a smile, rolling onto her side toward me and running her fingers along my damp cheek, her lips brushing against mine. "I still can't believe you're here. After all this time. I was really starting to think…"

"I hadn't forgotten about you, Bella," I whispered, sliding my arms around her. "I couldn't. I just needed some time for… everything."

"Uh… Bells?" A male voice carried up the stairs and Bella's body went rigid in my hold. Her eyes widened before she pushed away from me and raced to her dresser.

"One sec!" she called back after cursing a soft 'shit!' and then looked at me. "Just give me a few minutes, okay?"

Sliding on a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, she raced out of the room and closed the door behind her. As I rose from the bed, my eyes never left the door, unable to stop myself from wondering who that voice belonged to and realizing that I had completely taken it for granted that she _hadn't_ moved on. Everything had always been so impulsive and instinctual with her that the thought had never crossed my mind until just then. I could hear a muffled conversation taking place downstairs while I slid my jeans back on, having just finished buttoning them when I heard a loud "No!" screamed from the bottom of the stairs.

A moment later, the bedroom door swung open and a dark skinned man stood in the doorway, with Bella right behind him.

"Jake, just don't. Please," she begged from behind him, her hands pulling on his shoulders.

"So you're the one she's been pining over," he sneered, his eyes running over me. His severe gaze made me nervous and I stood frozen in shock, unsure of what he might do. I gazed back at Bella, not knowing how to respond myself.

"Jake, stop!" she insisted and I took a step back until I watched her duck under his arm and slap him in the stomach. He broke into laughter, every trace of malice instantly evaporating from his features as she snatched the tank top she'd worn earlier out of his hand. "You're not funny!"

"Bella, come on. Lighten up," the man chuckled, nudging her shoulder lightly as he passed and then walked toward me, holding his hand out. "Jacob Black."

"Edward Cullen," I replied, shaking his extended hand until Bella gripped his arm and began pulling him toward the door.

"All right, great, introductions have been made, and now you can go. Out!" Bella said in a rushed voice, pushing him out of the room and growling as he whispered into her ear. Closing the door behind her, she released a heavy sigh and looked back to me. "Sorry. My roommate takes a bit of getting used to."

I nodded absently and sat back down on the bed, willing my heart to leave my throat. "It's fine. Was just a surprise, that's all."

A small smile formed on Bella's lips with my stammered response, walking back over to the bed and kneeling beside me. "So… that was Jake."

"I gathered," I replied with a nod, bringing my eyes back to meet hers. "So, are you and Jake…. uh…"

She gazed at me expectantly as my hand motioned between us and then began shaking her head with a laugh. "No, he's _just_ a roommate. If it makes you feel any better, you made more of an impression on him than I _ever_ could."

My brow furrowed for a moment and then my eyes widened. "You mean, he's…"

"Yeah, I have all the wrong parts for him," she finished for me and swung her leg over my legs to straddle my lap.

"That _really_ doesn't make me feel any better," I said and she leaned forward to kiss me. "Is there…I mean, has there been… anyone?"

I felt my stomach drop as her face fell, pushing slowly off my lap to stand and turn away from me to gaze out the window. She took a deep breath and released it heavily, folding her arms over her chest. I closed my eyes, unwilling to hear that any other man had touched her, regardless of how irrational it was.

"Bella, I'm not going to be upset. It would be only natural-"

"There hasn't been anyone since you. If there had been, we wouldn't have even left the parking lot. I know I can't trust myself with you," she interrupted me and my gaze returned to find her arms hugging more tightly around her middle. Her shoulders shook slightly and she took another draw of breath. Her voice was soft and weak as she spoke, before she looked over her shoulder at me. "Even when you didn't call, I still just kept hoping that one day, you might. Then I got this incredible offer in New York…"

"I heard," I interjected before she could finish, my eyes lowering to gaze at my folded hands in front of me.

"You did?" she asked in confusion and I felt her eyes on me.

"I wasn't spying on you, Bella. It's a tight little community, and I just wanted to make sure you were all right," I replied, unable to look her in the eye. "I knew that if I called and heard your voice, I wouldn't be able to keep a clear head. And I would have ended up on your doorstep before I was ready."

I heard her hum softly from across the room and, unable to discern if she was angry or not, turned my eyes to her. Her face was just as indiscernible as she moved back toward the bed and sat down beside me again. "What makes now different?"

Her posture was stiff but the slight hint of tears glistened in her eyes as she kept them focused across the room. I cleared my throat and leaned forward on my elbows, resting on my thighs. "Bella, before I met you, I'd spent nearly three years trying to bury the man I used to be. If it didn't involve my kids, I didn't want to think about it or face it. Because that was the only thing that would allow me to stay with them, and what kept me collected enough to stay with Jane. To not completely lose it one day and walk out the door without thinking, and lose my kids. And I'd gotten to the point that I couldn't even remember who that man was. The hallow shell was all that was left, and I had to figure out how to find him again. To deal with all the anger that was left behind even after the papers were signed and it was all over. I never dealt with it; I just shoved it to the back of my mind. And I needed to be a complete man for myself and my kids before I could think about anyone else. So you were absolutely right, I _did _need to let you go when I did."

Her gaze had drifted over to me as I was speaking, reaching over to take my hand and her fingers slid slowly between mine. Lifting her hand to my lips, I firmly kissed the back of it, holding it there for several moments.

"You're gonna go to New York, aren't you?" I mumbled against her skin with a resigned sigh.

I felt a gentle squeeze on my hand then she rested her head on my shoulder. "I don't know, Edward. It's an amazing opportunity, a once in a lifetime thing. If I turn it down, it's probable that the offer will never be extended again. So I haven't said no," she whispered and I nodded, closing my eyes and pressing my lips to her hand again. Her head tilted and I felt the soft brush of her lips against my neck, her warm breath ghosting over my skin. "But I can't bring myself to give a definite yes, either. A year ago, I would have been on the first available flight, and now…"

I released her hand and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, gently kissing her forehead. "You have to do what's right for _you_, Bella. Just as you told me."

"I just don't know what that is right now," she responded sadly, her arm sliding around my waist and hugging herself against my side. "I don't know what to do or what I want. It's a huge decision."

I closed my eyes and felt Bella's hand rise to my face, turning me toward her and meeting my lips with hers. Pushing me back gently with her body, she lowered us both to lay back on the bed, her leg coming to drape over mine.

"I still want you more than anything I've ever wanted in my life. And it still scares me just as much as it did six months ago," she continued with her hand threaded in my hair and her lips barely touching mine.

I kissed her gently and then rested my forehead against hers, running my fingers along her arm. "When do you have to answer by?"

"Three days," she whispered, her eyes opening to gaze at me. "I'd thought about calling them tomorrow, but now…"

I closed my eyes and took her hand, bringing it to my lips and gently kissing her palm. "If your heart is telling you to go, you should."

"It's not," she murmured and I looked at her again, her lips pressed tightly together and her eyes gazing up at the ceiling. "And the last time I listened to my head, I didn't see or hear from you for six months. That's a long time, Edward."

"I know," I replied with a nod, my eyes settling on our joined hands. "I'm sorry."

"I don't know that I could bounce back again," she said in a serious tone, but then I felt her lips press against my bare chest. "If _we_ could bounce back, after a year."

"The contract's for a year?" I asked with a sigh and she nodded silently, kissing across my shoulder and up my neck as she moved to straddle my hips.

"A lot could happen in that time," she began as she took my hands in hers, lacing our fingers together. "We could meet other people, and in all actuality, we still barely know each other. You don't owe me anything and..."

"Bella," I interrupted her and sat up, holding our joined hands behind her back. "I just ended my ten year marriage. I'm not exactly in an all-fired hurry to jump into another relationship…"

Bella's face fell slightly and her eyes lowered to my chest, her teeth tugging at her lip.

"Shit, that's not what I meant. I mean, I am not out looking for one. That doesn't sound right, either," I sighed, releasing one of her hands and rubbing my eyes roughly. "You're _really_ worried about me meeting someone else? I can't even keep my foot out of my mouth with you."

She released a breathy laugh and my hand fell to the bed as I gazed up at her, but her eyes still didn't meet mine. Her fingertips traced lightly over my chest until I covered them with my hand and her eyes closed. "Any woman in her right mind would be worried. The last six months have been awful. I thought for sure you'd either gone back to your wife or found someone else, and just didn't want to tell me. I've regretted leaving, even if it _was _the right thing to do. It was so damn hard to get into that cab, knowing I might never see you again. And this whole time I've been pondering about New York, you were still in Washington, and I had no idea how I could bear putting three thousand miles between me and where you were. Even if you didn't want me anymore."

"I just drove for almost an entire day to get to you. Does that really sound like I don't want you?" I brushed her hair back from her face and waited for her gaze to meet mine, but her face lowered more. Lifting her chin with my fingertips, I kissed her gently as her hands came to rest on my sides. "But I won't hold you back, either. Someone once told me that what's meant to be will make itself happen without any interference from us. I'd like to believe that's the case. Whether it's us ending up together or not. Though I must admit, I've missed the hell out of you and don't particularly want to consider the 'not' aspect."

My statement enticed a more genuine chuckle from her and she brought her hands to cup my face as mine lowered to her hips, pulling her closer to me. "Neither do I. I just don't know if it's the right thing to do."

"Why don't we sleep on it," I said and she tilted her head, gazing at me with a raised eyebrow. "I meant you here in your bed, and me at the motel in mine. Otherwise, my selfless side will give way to my self_ish_ side, and I might be tempted to use persuasive measures."

Her arms slid around me as her eyes fell to my lips, lightly grazing her fingertips along my spine. "And I might be tempted to let you."

I nodded, my hold tightening around her as I stood and set her feet on the ground. Gazing down at her face, I took it between my hands and gave her a gentle, chaste kiss. "Call me tomorrow?"

"I will," she replied with a small smile before I moved around her and grabbed my t-shirt from the floor, pulling it over my head. "I'll walk you out."

Hand in hand, we made our way down the stairs and stopped in front of the door. She released a soft laugh as she retrieved my jacket, tossed haphazardly into the living room in our frantic entrance into the house barely an hour before. Draping it over my arm, I cupped her cheek and kissed her one more time. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Edward," Bella whispered against my lips, her eyes holding mine as I pulled away.

"Goodnight, Edward. Don't be a stranger now," a voice sounded from behind her and my eyes rose to her roommate standing there with a smirk.

Bella closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, her hands gripping my arms tightly and gradually loosening as she exhaled before looking back up to me. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."

I nodded and opened the door, giving a brief wave to Jake and stepping out. The door had barely closed behind me before I heard a resounding 'Jacob Black, I'm going to fucking kill you!' from inside, causing me to chuckle as I headed out to my car.

Upon my return to the motel room, my body relented to exhaustion the moment I'd landed on the bed.

**o~O~o**

The room was still pitch dark around me when I jolted awake to the sound of my phone ringing. When I retrieved it from the table beside the bed, my eyes slowly focused on Bella's name displayed on the illuminated screen. I sat up, swinging my legs out of bed and turning on the light before answering. "Hello?"

"Hey," her soft reply came through with a tremble to her voice, the sound bringing me to full alertness. "I know it's the middle of the night, but I couldn't wait."

I glanced down at my watch, the display reading 2:06 am. "What's wrong, Bella? Are you okay?"

"I don't know." Her tone was distressed and her soft sniffle indicated that she was crying, causing my heart to race. "I just spent the last few hours talking to Jake, and I've realized that I _have_ to go to New York."

I slowly released the breath that I was holding, closing my eyes and running my free hand through my hair. "I know you do."

"I'm sorry," she sobbed, her voice shuddering more. "As much as I want you, I know I'll regret turning this down. I don't expect you to wait for me. A year is a long time and–"

"I'll be here, Bella," I interrupted her before she could continue, the ache in my chest increasing excruciatingly with every word she uttered. "You know where to find me."

After soft whispers of pained goodbyes and promises to keep in touch, I ended the call and rose from the bed. The sooner I got on the road, the sooner I could be back with my children—where I was needed.

**o~O~o**

Several weeks passed with Bella and I keeping regular contact as she began her yearlong stay in New York. Though her excitement practically exuded through the phone, the selfish part of me wished for it to wane, for her to tire of the novelty that was New York City and come back.

Even when rehearsals for the next production at the theater began, my mind still wasn't entirely able to focus. The new female lead had long mahogany hair similar to Bella's, causing my heart to ache with her absence all the more. However, that's where the similarities ended.

Her scent was not the soft, natural one I'd expected when I pulled her against me, attempting to envision Bella in her place. It was pungent and heavily perfumed, making it difficult for me to breathe, let alone speak. Heavy make-up coated her face, giving her an even more artificial feel, as opposed to the natural beauty I desired to gaze upon. Her voice was high and grated on me like nails on a chalkboard; her slender body was hard and chiseled without a hint of the soft femininity I'd come to expect.

As I made my way out that night, I shook my head at Steve when I reached the door, indicating that I would not be able to play opposite her. Without waiting for a response, I stepped outside into the pouring rain, my motions freezing with the sight that met me.

Standing beside my car was Bella, her drenched hair clinging to her face and dark rings of running mascara circling her eyes. Her body was shivering in the light denim jacket she was pulling tightly around her.

She stared at me as I stood motionless in my spot, still rendered speechless by her presence. A soft strained laugh escaped her lips and her hand rose to brush the moisture from her cheek. "I _really_ hate the rain, you know."

I smiled as realization washed over me. Bella was actually standing there, where I'd imagined her nearly every night for weeks. She'd come to me just as I had gone to her, sending an urge through me to take her in my arms; and that time, never let her go.

Sliding out of my quickly dampening jacket, I closed the distance between us and wrapped it around her trembling shoulders. The dim light above us made her appear all the more pale and her lips more blue. Pulling her against me and into my arms, I rubbed my hands over her back briskly to generate a warming friction. "God, what are you doing out here?"

Bella's chilled body curled against me, fisting my shirt in her hands and releasing a sad chuckle. "Well, not the _worst_ reaction I could expect, I guess."

Pulling back enough to gaze down at her, I watched her forehead rest against my chest. "I mean, why didn't you come inside instead of standing out here getting drenched? Come on, get in the car."

Hurriedly getting both of us into the vehicle and out of the rain, I immediately turned on the heat to combat the damp chill before pulling out into the parking lot. Neither of us moved to speak for the first several minutes of the drive. I briefly glanced over to her to find her eyes lowered to her lap, staring at her trembling, folded hands. Returning my attention to the road, I blindly reached over to cover them with one of mine, rubbing my thumb over her fingers.

"Because I wasn't sure you'd be happy to see me," her soft voice answered my earlier question and she inhaled deeply, speaking again before I could. "I didn't want to make assumptions that I would be welcome here."

"Bella, I just spoke to you two days ago," I sighed, giving her hand a gently squeeze. "You really think that's going to change in that time?"

"I don't know," she replied quietly, shrugging her shoulders.

Releasing her hand, I turned into my driveway and parked, hearing a sharp gasp emanate from Bella. I glanced over to her to find her trembling, and it didn't seem as if it were from the cold. "Hey, what's the matter? You're starting to scare me a little."

"Where are the kids?" she asked suddenly, while still keeping her tone quiet.

I shifted in my seat to face her, turning her chin with my fingertips and watching her eyes slowly rise to meet mine. "They are with my father for the night, since I had to work. Why?"

Leaning across the seats, she brought her lips to mine, kissing me hungrily for a moment before pulling away and drawing in a deep breath. "We need to talk. Alone."

"Okay," I replied uncertainly as we both exited the car and began hurrying toward the house. Trepidation was building in my stomach as my mind began to race. Why had she just kissed me that way, so abrupt and fierce... almost as if it would be our last? Why had she been so worried about my kids being there? Her demeanor had been odd from the moment I spotted her outside the theater, and the tension had only grown throughout the short ride; a far cry from our usual reaction to each other, especially after the time apart.

Once inside, I led her down the hall and into my room to dry off and change into some dry clothes, while I made some tea. She came out a few minutes later, rolling up the sleeves of the over-sized shirt she wore, her tiny feet hidden beneath the ends of the pant legs gathered on the floor.

Each taking a mug, we walked into the living room silently and she sat on the couch, tucking her legs beneath her. After a slow sip, her eyes rose to mine.

"I know this is unexpected and I was supposed to be gone for several months more," she started, shaking her head and holding the warm cup firmly between her hands.

"New York not what you expected it to be?" I asked, encouraging her to continue with whatever she had to say.

"No, it was _everything_ I expected it to be. And I hated it," she replied, taking me by surprise.

"But you said... You sounded so happy."

"God, I'm an actress, Edward. It's what I do!" she exclaimed in frustration, standing up from the couch and turning to face me. "And I despise that, too. But I wasn't about to admit that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life all because of this big offer. I _never_ wanted to be an actress. It comes easily and naturally to me, but it makes me miserable."

I sat dumbfounded by her proclamation, resting back against the cushion and running my hand through my hair. Only one thought came to mind. "Then why?"

She shrugged sadly and sat back down on the edge of the couch. "For my grandmother, mostly. She got me started in commercials and small theater when I was little. And by the time she passed away, I was pretty much stuck in this life. I don't know anything else. But I can't do it anymore, it's too much."

"So that's why you left New York?"

"Partially. But also because my character isn't pregnant," she said in a soft voice and my eyes shot over to her suddenly. Taking a shaky breath, she finally met my gaze again. "And I _am_."


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I must apologize again for taking so long on this update. I was working hard to finish up LNE, amidst being ill and my computer dying, trying to keep myself focused and on task. ****I hope to have much more focus on this and other projects I have going on now with my endeavor of LNE is now complete. And since it's been so long, here's a recap of the last few chapters:**

**Bella left for LA upon the completion of the play in which she'd met Edward, giving him time to finalize his divorce, get his children settled and adjusted to it all, and be complete ready to move on before starting something serious with her. He keeps tabs on Bella's career and how she's doing while she's away, and a few months after his divorce is final, he makes the trip to LA to see Bella. After they practically combust upon seeing each other, Bella informs him that she's gotten an offer in New York, which he already knows. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, but she's had difficulty making up her mind to take it. Finally that night, she does decide to take it after her long discussion with her roommate, Jacob, calling Edward in the middle of the night, and he returns to Washington. **

**At the end of the last chapter, Bella comes back to Washington, waiting for Edward outside the theater in the pouring rain. He takes her home, and she panics at the idea that the children might be inside. Once she's assured by him that they are with his father, she goes inside with him, and changes so they can talk-where she tells Edward that she is pregnant.**

**I am so very lousy at summaries, so I hope this was okay and got you all up to speed again. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart, for your continued patience with me, and I will try to keep in touch more often with updates and tweets on Twitter, etc. **

* * *

**Part 7**

Unable to process the words that had just left her lips, I sat there, staring at her in disbelief. _Nothing_ could have prepared me for that bombshell, and I had no idea how to respond.

I set my cup on the coffee table and stood, running my hand over my mouth as I walked to the fireplace and rested the other on the mantle. My breaths were slow and exaggerated, and I felt my stomach tighten. I knew I didn't need to bother asking if the baby was mine; with the timing since my visit to LA, the reckless approach we'd taken with each other together, and the way it was written in her eyes when she told me. Bella was pregnant with my child. "So, _that's_ why you came back?"

I heard her rise from the couch and the shuffle of her feet on the carpet, until she stopped beside me. "I would have come back eventually anyway, Edward. It was only a matter of time. But I couldn't keep performing like this. It's too hard, even now."

My eyes turned to meet hers suddenly and my brow pulled together. "How long have you known about this?"

Her eyes lowered as her tongue moistened her lower lip before it was drawn in-between her teeth. A soft sniffle escaped her as she straightened and brought her tear-filled gaze back to mine. "A week."

"A _week_?" I gasped, my eyes widening as my chest rose and fell in rapid succession, backing away from her. "When I talked to you two days ago, you _knew_? And you didn't _tell me_?"

"I didn't want to tell you something like this over the phone. I couldn't be that much of a coward and take the easy way out. You deserved to hear it in person, and I wanted to do the right thing. I had no idea what I was going to do two days ago. I needed to think it through. I just quit last night and flew out this morning." She stepped toward me again and my throat and chest felt as if they were going to cave in on me as her hand tentatively rested on my arm. "Edward, I'm not trying to pressure you or trap you in any way, and I'm not asking you for anything. You have Aimee and Zach to think about, and I know you weren't expecting this any more than I was. I just knew that the right thing to do was to come here and tell you that I was pregnant, and that I intend to have the baby."

My eyes rose to find hers lowered, her arms now wrapped around her middle. Of all the ways I'd imagined seeing her again, that particular scenario was one that had never crossed my mind. I hadn't really given much thought to the prospect of becoming a father again. And I'd envisioned thinking so much differently when it came to Bella re-entering my life; slowly introducing her to my children, dating for a while to allow them time to adjust to the idea of another woman at their father's side. Maybe after a few months, having her move in and integrating her into our lives. Perhaps _someday_ asking her to marry me and add to our family. But something like the scenario we found ourselves in was never part of even my wildest imagining, and everything was now turned upside down… for all of us.

I slid my hands into my pockets and my gaze met the hearth, shaking my head. "I don't value any of my children above the others, Bella. If you're pregnant with my baby, then I'm going to be a dad again. And we'll figure it all out. You're moving back for good, then?"

I caught the shift of her body in the corner of my eye and looked back to her, watching her nervously tuck her hair behind her ear and nod. "Yeah. One of my friends said I could stay with her until I could find a place of my own. Said she could even get me a job at that coffee shop down the road from the theater that we went to, since I told her I wasn't going back to acting."

Bella's glazed brown eyes rose to meet mine as a tear fell down her cheek and I brought my hand up to brush it away, watching as her lips began to tremble at the contact. Our gazes locked for a moment before I lowered my face to hers, kissing her gently as I pulled her into my arms.

"I haven't told anyone," she said softly, opening her eyes again to look at me. "No one really knows but me, the director in New York, and some poor, unsuspecting emergency room doctor I cried all over for about twenty minutes."

My soft laugh joined hers as she slid her arms around my waist, our foreheads resting against each other. "It's going to be okay, Bella."

"I haven't even told my dad yet. Thought the baby's father should be the first to know," she continued, tightening her embrace around me and stiffening in my hold.

"You mean other than some hot shot in a white coat and an uptight New York director that would have been crazy to let you go otherwise?" I teased, bending my knees to bring our faces level and she glanced at me for a moment before rolling her eyes, emitting a small laugh.

"You know what I mean," she replied and her smile quickly left her face, tears beginning to well in her eyes again. "My dad is gonna kill me."

Bella's body began trembling with restrained sobs and I pulled her against my chest, running my hand soothingly over her back. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't promise her _that_ would be okay, knowing that if my own daughter came to me with something like that, I certainly wouldn't be ecstatically happy.

Unmarried and pregnant by a newly divorced father of two children already, who'd technically cheated on his wife with her to begin with. Not even a solid relationship formed, just a few heated nights of passion and possible hopes for "someday".

Everything about it was the complete opposite of ideal.

A soft yawn emitted from her and I gently lifted her into my arms, carrying her to my room and settling her into the bed. After pulling the blankets over her, I brushed a soft kiss against her lips and her hands came to my face to hold me there. "You had a long night, Bella. We'll talk more tomorrow."

"Stay with me," she pleaded, closing her eyes and gripping my shoulders with her fingertips.

"I can't," I whispered and watched a tear trickle down her temple, her hold on me loosening. "Not that I don't _want_ to. But I can think of dozens of better ways for you to meet my children than for them to come home to find their father in bed with you. It's just a precaution, in case I oversleep."

Bella sighed and nodded in resignation, kissing me one last time before releasing me. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"Just for tonight," I replied, holding her face between my hands and brushing my lips softly against each of her cheeks, gazing into her eyes again before meeting her mouth. "I promise."

I stood and made my way out of the room, returning to the living room and landing roughly on the couch with my mind in a whirl.

Bella was pregnant.

I was going to be a father again.

I needed to be ready to face it head on; there was no "taking it slow" with a child involved.

From the moment each of my children were born, even with the circumstances that erupted following Zach's birth, nothing in the world had ever been more important to me. Not my job, my disintegrating marriage, Bella or the glimmer of happiness she brought into my life… nothing. And I knew the new one would be no different.

Yet, there still posed a problem.

Bella and I had yet to have the much-needed conversation about what the future truly held for us. Everything between us had been so spontaneous and volatile thus far, hence the current situation in which we found ourselves. I thought we'd have more time, but everything had changed, and I needed to somehow make her believe that it wasn't just the baby drawing me to her. That, in my heart, I knew I had begun falling in love with her with that first kiss, and it had only grown with every touch since. How much I'd wished she was there with me for the weeks leading up to that night instead of three thousand miles away in New York, how much I'd missed her. And despite all logic and reason, I knew without a doubt that she was it for me.

The shuffling of feet behind me ripped me abruptly from my thoughts and I rose onto my elbow to look back to find Bella standing there. The tears streaming down her cheeks caused my heart to ache and I sat up, reaching out to take her hand and pulling her toward me. She lowered herself onto my lap with her knees on either side of my hips, sliding her arms around my neck as mine encircled her waist. "I can't sleep."

Her lips met mine tentatively and I pulled her closer, deepening the kiss slowly as my palms flattened against her lower back. I had missed her; God knew I had. The feel of her in my arms was something I had been aching for, for weeks. And the roll of her hips against me as she inched closer was enough to drive me insane, but it wasn't right. "Bella, we need to stop."

"I'll go back to the bedroom before the kids come home, I promise," she whispered in an almost desperate tone, swallowing hard as her fingers wove into my hair. "I just want to feel your arms around me for a little while."

I nodded in response and we shifted our bodies to lie side by side. Her face nuzzled against my chest while my fingers slowly ran through her hair. We were quiet for several minutes until her soft voice cut through the silence, her warm tears soaking through my shirt. "I didn't want it to be like this."

"Seeing each other again?" I asked after a moment of hearing nothing but the sounds of our breaths mingling together.

Bella adjusted her body to move closer, draping her leg over mine, and pressing her lips against my chest. She nodded, releasing a long, shaky sigh. "Yeah. I wouldn't have lasted a year in New York. I know that for a fact. Not only did I hate it, but I missed you so damn much. Every time we talked on the phone, I just wanted to go into work the next day and quit. I kept thinking what it would be like to come back here, surprise you outside the theater and tell you that I was never leaving you again. This definitely wasn't the most romantic of approaches."

Her voice lowered along with her chin, tightening her hold around me. I brushed her hair away from her forehead and pressed my lips to the exposed skin, drawing in a deep breath. "This baby isn't the worst thing that could happen, Bella."

"No, it's not," she replied in agreement, shaking her head before lifting her eyes to meet mine. "Just not the best timing. Or the best situation. But I never knew love could be this instantaneous. I was terrified when that doctor told me I was pregnant, and he must have thought I was crazy because I couldn't stop smiling even though I was bawling my eyes out. I felt so different and I guess part of me knew even then that nothing could make me get rid of this baby. Not New York, my dad, or even you."

"That's something I could never ask you to do. Ever," I whispered softly as I cupped her jaw in my palm, feeling the soft strands of her hair at my fingertips. "We'll get through this, I swear."

**o~O~o**

"Dad-dy!"

A high-pitched scream woke me from sleep what felt like moments later, and I quickly looked beside me. True to her word, Bella was not there as I heard my daughter's thundering footsteps in the hallway and my father's voice informing her where I was.

I shot up off the couch and ran out of the living room, almost running straight into my wide-eyed little girl. "Baby, what's the matter?"

"Daddy, Daddy," Aimee replied anxiously and out of breath, pointing down the hall toward my room, where Bella had come to stand outside. "Daddy, there's a strange girl in your room. Did you know that?"

Taking a deep breath, I lowered myself down to crouch in front of Aimee, glancing at Bella before looking back to my daughter. "Yes, honey. I know Bella's in my room."

Aimee's eyes narrowed slightly as she looked between me and Bella, finally settling on me. "You _know_? And she has a _name_?"

"Edward, I should just go. I'll call Ang—"

"No," I said in a firm tone in response to Bella, shaking my head and taking my daughter's hands in mine. "Baby—"

My voice froze as Aimee's lip began to tremble and tears filled her eyes, pulling her hands sharply from mine. "She's your new girlfriend, isn't she?"

My gaze rose to Bella's for a moment and then turned to my father, who was holding Zach in his arms. My son's head was nestled against his grandfather's shoulder with his thumb in his mouth; something we noticed that he'd started doing in times of stress.

"She's the reason!" Aimee screeched, snapping my attention back to her blazing blue eyes, her fists clenched at her sides. "The one you left Mom for!"

She spun to face Bella with narrowed eyes, glaring at her venomously.

"I _hate_ you! You ruined _everything_!" Aimee screamed, running up the stairs to her room and slamming the door before I had the chance to catch her.

Zach began to cry, tightening his free arm around my father's neck with his eyes still locked on me. He was so young, he didn't quite understand what was going on, but the strain of everything that had transpired in his short lifetime was definitely taking its toll.

He didn't have the same childhood that Aimee had. While I loved my children equally, she could remember sincerely good times between her mother and I – six years of real smiles, laughter, and happiness. My son, on the other hand, had grown up in a world of masks, of waking up in the middle of the night to venomous arguments, observing forced affection followed by cold shoulders.

I stood to approach my father and Zach's arms immediately reached out for me. As I held him against me, my eyes moved to Bella, who stood with her arms folded nervously around her middle and she shook her head. "I _really_ shouldn't be here right now. You need to be with your children and I need to get to my friend's house to shower and all."

"I can give you a ride, if you'd like," my father spoke, taking us both by surprise and bringing our gazes to him, while his settled on me. "She's right, your children need you right now, and whatever is going on _here_ can wait."

Bella and I exchanged a brief glance as he gestured his hand between the two of us, before nodding and she whispered a soft thank you to my father. Before she reached the door, I gently took hold of her wrist. We said nothing as our eyes met, but the gentle squeeze of her hand as it slid into mine for a moment told me everything I needed to know.

We both knew we had a lot more to talk about, and it wasn't over.

**o~O~o**

Zach cried himself to sleep in my arms on his bed after I'd checked on Aimee to find her fast asleep in hers as well. It had been a busy week of rehearsals and late nights, and neither one of them slept well when they were away from me for more than a couple days at a time; even at their beloved grandfather's house.

The quiet that settled over the house gave me time to collect my thoughts, as I made my way downstairs to make some coffee. I would somehow need to reprimand Aimee for her behavior, while also attempting to explain something that wasn't quite clear to me, either.

Bella wasn't exactly my _girlfriend_; in fact, we'd hardly had any time to discuss anything concerning our relationship with each other. We were attempting to come to terms with an even bigger issue… Bella was having my baby. How could I expect a nine-year-old to?

My arm draped over my eyes with my head resting on a throw pillow at the end of the couch when I heard footsteps on the stairs. I looked back just as Aimee stepped onto the landing and glanced at me, walking over to the couch and huddling on the cushion at my feet. After several minutes of silence, she still made no motion to speak, so I knew it would have to be me to start.

"Aimee, I'm sure you know that I'm very disappointed by your behavior earlier," Her face remained stoically calm, staring across the room toward the blank television screen. Unresponsive. "Look at me when I'm speaking to you, please."

Aimee's eyes closed for a brief moment and then slowly turned, leaning her back against the arm of the couch and opened them again to stare across the couch at me. Again… silence.

"Honey, I know you're upset. However, Bella's going to be in our lives for quite some time to come," I began and her eyes lowered, folding her arms over her chest. "But she's not the reason your mom and I aren't together anymore. You know that."

"I want my mom, Dad," Aimee replied, looking back up at me. "She's not my mom."

"No one is taking your mom away from you, Aimee. But both your mother and I deserve to be happy, even if it's not with each other. Like with Brian –"

"They broke up," Aimee interrupted with a roll of her eyes.

"Okay." I paused, taken a little by surprise by that. "Be that as it may, I care a lot about Bella. And she did not deserve the things you said to her. And you're going to apologize when she comes back over."

Aimee's lips tightened and her back stiffened, her eyes shifting to the side.

"Aimee Marie Cullen," I said sternly, but she still refused to look at me.

"She's not apologizing for taking my dad away," Aimee replied in a tight tone, her hands tightening on her upper arms, as they remained crossed.

The sound of Zach falling out of bed above us, and his subsequent cries, interrupted my response. I stood and glanced at her briefly, shaking my head. "We'll talk more later."

I ran up the stairs, finding Zach walking out of his room with a huge red mark on his forehead and tears streaming down his cheeks. "Daddy, my head hurts."

Lifting him into my arms, I carried him downstairs and found Aimee unmoved from her spot on the couch. I sat down in the middle, closer to her with Zach resting flat on my chest. She slowly slid closer, eyeing me hesitantly before resting her head against my shoulder.

"How about we all go out for lunch?"

Aimee looked up at me with a smile beginning to form at my suggestion, whereas Zach simply nodded.

"There's just one thing," I paused, locking eyes with my daughter. "I'm going to be calling Bella to invite her. We have a lot to talk about, all of us. And I'll need you to be on your best behavior."

Her socked foot kicked lightly at the coffee table with a pout. "Fine."

**o~O~o**

Bella sat across from me at the small diner booth with Zach beside her in his booster seat, eating his fries without a care in the world. Aimee, on the other hand, sat beside me and poked at her food roughly with her fork.

The silence at the table was deafening, and I could feel Bella's unease radiate across the table. My daughter was watching our every movement closely, until the utensil in her hand dropped loudly and unceremoniously onto her plate. And I could tell her efforts were at an end.

"I thought you were supposed to be in New York," Aimee said, looking over at Bella with a hard glare.

Bella shifted uncomfortably in her seat, and her eyes moved briefly to me before returning to my daughter. "I was. Something came up and I needed to come back here and talk to your dad."

"So, now you can go back?" Aimee asked pointedly, her lips pursing in anger. She'd never looked more like her mother than she did at that moment; her face a serene calm, only her stern eyes and tightened mouth showing any hint of the emotion beneath.

"Aimee." My voice was sharp, as was the turn of her head toward me. "That's enough. Bella isn't leaving, and we're going to be seeing a lot of her."

Aimee's eyes narrowed, folding her arms over her chest. "So, she _is_ your girlfriend."

I glanced over to Bella, whose gaze lowered into her lap and her face paled. "Excuse me," she whispered softly and stood from the table, quickly making her way to the back of the restaurant.

Zach looked up with the shift of the bench beside him and then to me in confusion. "Where'd Bella go?" he asked in his innocent, three-year-old voice.

"Who cares," Aimee mumbled under her breath, returning her attention to her plate and stabbing her food more roughly.

"I've had enough of your attitude, young lady," I said quietly, not wishing to draw attention to us, while still leaving no doubt in her mind that I was angry. "It's not going to change anything. I don't expect you to love her as I do—"

"You _love_ her?" Aimee screeched with wide eyes, her voice no doubt carrying across the restaurant.

As I gazed around the area, I noticed only a few sets of eyes actually on us, but one was Bella's, where she paused as she made her way back to the table. I closed mine briefly to collect myself, opening them again when I felt Bella's knees brush against me as she sat back down.

"Are you all right?" I asked softly and she nodded, and then brought her eyes to mine. They were glossed and reddened, her cheeks flushed while the rest of her face remained pale.

"I'm fine. Probably just jet lag or something I ate," she replied with a slight shrug, her gaze falling to her lap as she swallowed hard. "I think I'm gonna head back to Angela's and lay down."

"Bella—"

"I need to go," Bella interrupted me firmly, grabbing her purse. "I'll see you later, Zach."

My son turned his head toward her with a french fry dangling from his lips and nodded, causing it to bob with the movement. "'Kay."

The briefest smile touched Bella's lips as she watched him and then looked over to my daughter. "And you, too, Aimee."

Aimee shrugged, only a slight improvement on ignoring Bella completely.

Bella's eyes returned to me and I shook my head, my eyes pleading with her to stay. She sighed and rested her hand on my shoulder briefly, leaning down to kiss my cheek. "Bye, Edward."

She walked away from the table quickly before I could respond or stop her, and I couldn't very well chase her and leave my children behind. Taking a calming breath, I looked back at my daughter, who had her head lowered and her hands folded in her lap.

"That was not an apology, Aimee," I said sharply, reaching back into my pocket for my wallet and tossing a few bills onto the table. "Behavior like that is uncalled for, and no amount of these tantrums is going to bring me and your mother back together."

I rose from the bench and moved to lift Zach from his booster, standing him on the seat and helping him into his jacket. Aimee silently slid from the booth and wouldn't look at me as she put her own coat on. Immediately, I felt bad for my harsh comment, but anger was still the dominant emotion coursing through me.

All the way home, she stared out the window wordlessly, even when I told her that she would be spending the remainder of the afternoon in her room. To which she disappeared the moment we arrived home.

Zach sat in front of the television playing with his blocks and I stared at my phone, willing it to ring or at least beep with a text. A half an hour passed—nothing.

_Bella, we need to talk_, I typed out, my thumb hesitating over the button for a moment and adding 'please' to the end before sending.

Within seconds, my phone signaled with a response. I looked down to find that the screen was even still illuminated, and clicked the incoming message.

_I know_, was all it said and I ran my hand over my face roughly with a groan.

"What's wrong, Daddy?" Zach asked, resting his chin on my knee. "Mimi's in trouble?"

Smiling slightly at his nickname for his sister, I ran my fingers over his soft blond hair and let out a heavy sigh. "Daddy's just giving Aimee time to think. She was not nice to Bella."

Zach shook his head dramatically and climbed up on the couch beside me, laying his head on my arm. "I like Bella. She's nice."

"Me too, buddy," I replied, kissing the top of his head as he resumed watching the television.

_Please come over so we can_. I resumed my text conversation with Bella, feeling the weight of Zach's body deaden against my arm as he began to fall asleep.

_I don't know, Edward. Maybe it's too soon?_

_We don't have a lot of time._

_I know. But Aimee hates me. What are we supposed to do?_

_She doesn't hate you. She'll come around. Please come over._

_Maybe give it a day or two?_

_Please, Bella. I'm working the rest of the week._

A long, silent pause in texts ensued and I rested my head back on the couch. How had everything gone so completely wrong in the matter of a few hours? Bella was hurting and I had no idea how to fix it. My daughter was angry and not speaking to me, and that was completely out of my realm of knowing how to handle. I'd impulsively laid out my feelings for Bella in the middle of a crowded restaurant, when I hadn't even told _her_ yet. And the situation had the potential to escalate ten-fold once we announced Bella's condition to both my children and my father.

Everything was so backward, and there _was _no quick fix.

My phone vibrated in my lap after several minutes and I slowly lifted my head to look down at it, taking it back into my hand.

_I'm really tired. And I think we should really talk alone. Can you meet me for breakfast before work?_

_Well that's better than a flat 'no'_, I thought with a sigh, running my hand through my hair.

_I have to be in for rehearsal at ten. Would eight be too early?_

I felt Zach shift beside me and I looked down to find him lowering his head into my lap, his thumb returning to his mouth in his sleep. I brushed his hair back from his forehead gently with my fingers, my mind running through the different ways it all could affect him. How he would react to all that was coming. He took to Bella far better than his sister had, but would that change with the prospect of a new member of the family, after being the baby for three years? When "Daddy's friend" became a more permanent fixture in our lives, would he understand, or possibly even bristle as Aimee had? Or was he still too young to comprehend any of it?

I began seeing more that Bella was right. We needed to sort things out between us first and prepare ourselves for the possible—and probable—challenges ahead.

_Eight is perfect. I'll see you then. Goodnight, Edward._

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**Okay, I know this is a lot to ask, but try not to hate Aimee too much. She's just a hurting little girl :( **

**Also, it has come to my attention that there may be some misunderstanding in what I've said or my actions involving the last chapter of LNE. So I would like to take the opportunity to clarify. I do not intend to leave the fandom or cease writing for it, hence the following chapter post this evening. I truly enjoy writing fanfiction and would love to keep doing it for a long time to come. The distribution of the pdf I've offered is nothing more or less than me wanting to give my readers, who have been so amazingly patient and supportive of me this last year, an re-edited, clean copy of the story if they wished to ever reread. I am not pulling, nor do I ever intend to pull, any of my stories. I'll be writing here as long as you all will have me. :)**

**Thanks again everyone. Much love to you all! *hugs***


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Thank you all for your continued patience with me. I promise, I am trying to get updates completed as quickly as possible. *hugs to all***

* * *

**Playing the Part 8**

When Aimee didn't reply when I called her down for dinner, I made my way up to her room. I found only the top of her head visible above the bed from her seat on the floor on the other side. She remained remarkably still and silent, unmoving as I stood in her doorway.

"Are you coming down to eat?" I asked and her head disappeared from my view as she slid down further.

"I'm not hungry," was the only mumbled response I received, even after I told her there would be a plate in the refrigerator for her if she changed her mind. She never came down, and only left her room once to cross the hall to the bathroom, returning to just as quickly and closing the door behind her.

I stopped outside her room on my way to bed for the night and found no light coming from beneath the door, and no sounds coming from within. Resigning myself to let it rest for the evening and speak to her at length the following day after I picked her and Zach up from my father's house, I continued down the hall to my room.

And as I lay in the dark for hours, I was torn between the anger I felt at Aimee's behavior that afternoon and the guilt from the confusion that she must have been experiencing with the circumstances under which she'd met Bella. Everything was so out of control and only promised to get worse before it got any better. I tried to relax my mind until I talked to Bella and we could figure out how to handle it all together.

"Daddy?" Aimee's soft voice floated through my room and I raised my head from the pillow to look over to her silhouette standing in my doorway. "Are you still very mad at me?

I sighed heavily, patting the bed with my hand and motioning for her to come over to me. Her feet shuffled quickly across the rug and she climbed onto the bed, crawling in beside me and snuggling against my side. Her hands were like ice and her face was drenched with tears, and I felt them soaking through my t-shirt. Wrapping the blanket and my arms around her, I hugged her to me and kissed her forehead.

"You behaved very badly, Aimee," I whispered and I felt her little body tremble as she nodded, melting my anger just a little more. "But no, I'm not as mad anymore."

"I'm sorry, Dad," she cried softly, pressing her cheek against my chest.

"I don't think I'm the one who deserves the apology," I said gently and her shoulders tensed. "Do you want to tell me why you said those things to Bella?"

Aimee's arm tightened around my waist as she nuzzled her face against me. She remained silent for several moments except for the soft, intermittent sniffles that escaped her before she replied, "I just don't want you with her."

"I know she's not your mom, and she's not trying to be," I murmured against her hair, lightly rubbing her back with my hand. "But your mom and I are _not_ getting back together."

Aimee curled more tightly against my side, shaking her head and whispering, "I don't want that, either. I don't want my mom _here_." She paused, taking me by surprise with her statement and seeming almost nervous to continue. "I just don't want to lose my dad."

I pulled my head back abruptly to look at her and her eyes rose to meet mine. "Aimee, why would you think something like that? Having a girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going anywhere. You're not losing me."

"That's not what I mean," she replied with a heavy sigh, removing herself from my arms to sit up beside me. "Zachy doesn't know what you were like before he was born, but _I_ remember, Dad. And I missed that. I like things the way they are now and I don't want everything to change again."

I watched her chin lower more with every word she spoke, her fingers toying with the sleeve of my shirt. Taking her hand in mine, I slid up the bed to rest back against the headboard and pulled her gently into my arms again. "Baby, I know things have been really bad for the last few years. I can't tell you how sorry I am for that, and what it's done to you and your brother. Your mom and I were very unhappy for a long time, and unfortunately, you guys got stuck in the middle. That's not going to happen again."

"How do you know?" Aimee asked, looking up at me with inquisitive eyes. "You and Mommy weren't _always_ unhappy, right?"

I closed my eyes for a moment, resting my head back against the headboard. Even with the way things had turned out, it was still painful at times to think of how happy Jane and I had once been together. When I couldn't imagine my life without her or that either one of us would _ever_ desire anyone else. When I thought she was my forever.

"Daddy?" Aimee said and I opened my eyes to look down at her, hugging her against me and resting my cheek on top of her head.

"No, baby. Mommy and I weren't _always_ unhappy," I replied softly and she tilted her head up to gaze at me.

"Then how do you know that you wouldn't be unhappy with Bella?" she asked earnestly.

I sighed, brushing her hair back from her face. "I don't. But even if I had known that Mommy and I would have ended up unhappy, I still would have married her."

Aimee wrinkled her nose, gazing at me as if I were crazy. "Why would you do that?"

"Because your mother and I had some really good times together. And without her, I wouldn't have you and Zach. And _nothing_ could ever make me regret having the two of you."

Aimee smiled and then a yawn escaped her, and she rested her face back on my chest. Within minutes, soft snores were emitting from her and rather than move her, I carefully slid back down to lay my head on my pillow, holding my daughter as she slept. One crisis averted for the time being, and I could only hope for the best once the bigger issue came to light.

**o~O~o**

Bella sat across from me, watching her spoon circle round and round her teacup, having not touched her breakfast at all. But we also hadn't spoken a word since our hellos, seemingly awaiting the other to start.

Finally, I took a deep breath, folding my hands in front of me. "Okay, so, 'talking' actually involves us using _words_, so I guess that would be the first step to take."

Bella lifted her eyes briefly to look at me and a small smile touched her lips, disappearing just as quickly. "I can't uproot your family like this again, Edward. Your kids have been through so much in such a short time—"

"Bella," I interrupted her, reaching over to rest my hand on her wrist. "This is my kid, too. Just as much as Aimee and Zach."

"I know, but it's different. We're not married—hell, we don't even know _what _we are," Bella replied with a shrug, her eyes lowering to my gentle hold on her arm. "And your daughter already hates me, just by being with you in any way. How do you think she's going to feel when she's told about the baby?"

I slid my hand into hers and gave it a gentle squeeze, trying to calm her as her breaths began coming more quickly. "Like I told you last night, she doesn't hate you, Bella. She's very confused and upset, obviously. But I spent a lot of time thinking last night after Aimee came to talk to me."

Bella's eyes shot up to mine and her fingers stiffened in my hold.

"You have to understand the things that Aimee has seen and heard in the last three years or so, as well as the things she hasn't. Which, unfortunately, I can see now that I made things so much more confusing for her. She hasn't heard me tell her mother that I loved her since the day before we left for the hospital to have Zach, or show any kind of real affection toward her after that. I became a completely different person that day, the instant that man walked into that hospital room and insisted that the little boy in my arms at that very moment wasn't mine. I wanted a son so badly, to have my little girl and my little boy, and that shattered me. I was completely unrecognizable to my own daughter after that. She didn't understand why her carefree, laid back father, who loved being a husband and a dad, suddenly changed after Zach's birth. She only knew that Jane and I were fighting all the time and we didn't before. Her happy family was gone," I explained, a sharp ache tugging at my heart. "And things have finally started coming back together again since the divorce."

"And she thinks it will happen again. If you decided to have another relationship," Bella finished the thought for me and I nodded with my eyes lowered to my cup as she practically repeated Aimee's words from the night before. "So, what is it that _you _want, Edward? I told you, I'm not here to pressure you with the baby, and I'm not going to come between you and your children. _Any_ of them. You don't have to be with me if you want to be involved with this one."

I looked back up to her and noticed the softened look in her eyes as her thumb ran gently over mine. "I know that. And I couldn't bring myself to do that to my kids again, regardless. But Bella?" I paused, holding her hand more securely as she drew in a deep, hesitant breath. "The only times within the last few years that I have felt anything close to happiness, when it didn't involve my kids, have been the times I've spent with you. I probably shouldn't have blurted out what I did yesterday at lunch the way that I did, but it doesn't make it any less true. I have fallen in love with you, Bella. And I haven't felt anything like this in a very long time. If there is _any_ chance of working things out between us, in addition to having this baby together, that is what _I _want. But there are two of us here."

"I haven't _stopped_ wanting you since the first night you kissed me. And it _should_ have stopped all together before it even happened, when I found out you were married," Bella said softly, her eyes rolling back slightly to look up at the ceiling. "Instead, I began falling for you. Stupid and wrong, I know, because, even though you weren't _happily_ married, you also weren't available and mine for the wanting. But my heart wouldn't listen, no matter how loud my head was screaming at it to."

I gave her hand a gentle tug, motioning for her to join me on my side of the booth. She drew in a slow, deep breath before rising and settling onto the cushioned bench beside me. As I wrapped my arms around her, she pressed closer to me and rested her head on my shoulder. Her soft hair brushed against my cheek and I instinctively pressed my lips to it, her arm sliding across my abdomen in response. "That never needs to be a consideration for either of us ever again. I'm not married anymore and _completely_ yours for the wanting, and taking, if you so choose."

Bella's eyes rose to mine, damp with tears, and her hand lifted to my cheek, running her fingertips over it almost experimentally. "I want that so much. I'm yours and still _completely_ in love with you."

I hummed in contentment as our lips met, very slowly and full of tender emotion, rather than heated passion and desperation. My fingers ran gently through the strands of her hair as the kiss deepened, a soft whimper escaping her lips. We parted at the sound of my phone vibrating on the table; my alarm reminding me that our time was up. I reached over to silence it with my forehead never moving from where it rested against hers. "I have to go to work."

Bella nodded with her eyes still closed and her lips pressed firmly together for a moment. "Okay."

"Come over tonight?" I asked softly and her gaze shot up to me in shock, shaking her head. "Bella, I can't hide things like this from my children. If it was just you and me, we might have had more options to take things slowly. But you're coming up on your third month, and if memory serves me right, it won't be all that long before you start showing at least a little. I really think it would be best in the long run, especially with Aimee, if we're just up front and honest with her. She already feels like we've hidden so much from her."

Bella inhaled deeply and reluctantly nodded. "You're right. Although I doubt she'll like me any more after this than she does now."

"I'm not expecting miracles. We're all going to need some adjustment time, and we need to start somewhere, right?" I replied as I gently tucked her hair behind her ear. She took my other hand between us and lifted it to her lips, lightly brushing them over her knuckles, and then looked back at me in agreement.

We didn't say another word as we rose from the booth and she followed me with my hand still clasped in hers to the register. Once we finally stepped outside, I walked her to the car she'd arrived in and she seemed reluctant to let me go, her back straightening as she turned to face me. "So, what time?"

I watched as her eyes flickered nervously between mine, releasing her hand to cradle her face and kiss her gently. "I'll be home with the kids by six."

"All right," Bella replied with a shaky breath.

"Bella?" I lifted my other hand to rest on the opposite cheek as she began to turn away toward the car to leave. I gazed into her eyes for a moment before pressing my lips to hers in a brief but firm kiss. "I love you."

Bella's lips trembled with her smile, her hands clinging tightly to my sides as the rest of her body relaxing significantly in my hold. "I love you, too."

**o~O~o**

The entire day seemed to drag along endlessly as my mind was consumed with how that night's discussion would pan out. I wasn't stupid enough to think that the idea of Daddy having a new baby with a strange woman she barely knew would go over smoothly with Aimee. But I also knew that withholding information from her that would come to light very soon anyway would be far worse, and more detrimental to my daughter's trust in both of us.

Aside from that, my thoughts also returned to my children, and what their reactions might be to idea of the new baby.

Aimee had been amazing with the arrival of Zach; far better than I could have ever expected her to be after five years of being the only child. She was the first girl born to the Cullen family in four generations, and absolutely spoiled rotten by my father. We'd been fully prepared for her to throw tantrums and require much more discipline when the baby came home. However, she was fascinated by him and doted over him like a miniature mother hen, and was always the first to his room in the morning when he would wake up. I had little doubt that the idea of having another sibling would be as much of an issue with her as would the fact that the baby had a different mother.

Zach, on the other hand, I was more concerned about than I'd been with Aimee the first go-round. After he was born, I'd accepted the idea that I would never have any more children. I even went so far as to consider a vasectomy shortly after his birth, as I'd expected to be with Jane for many more years and didn't want to take any chances if my ex-wife got any ideas up her sleeve. I had my girl and my boy, and I was done. And Zach had been treated as such—the last child, the baby. Every first of his got more notice, every moment soaked in. And while he'd taken an initial liking to Bella, I couldn't help but worry about how he would react to a new baby in the house in about six months' time, give or take.

I felt the nerves of anticipation begin to churn in my stomach when I finally walked out to my car that evening to go pick up my children. Time was ticking away, and half of me wanted it over with and the other half just wanted a little more.

"Time is the one luxury you don't have, Cullen," I muttered under my breath as I pulled into my father's driveway, where he and my kids were waiting.

"Good luck, son," he murmured as he hugged me after we'd gotten the children settled into the car. He knew exactly what I was walking into once I got home, after I'd given him an explanation on the phone during my lunch break. While stunned by my revelation about the baby, in his usual way, he was unfailingly supportive, giving me that much more encouragement, as only he could.

Zach sat in the back seat, completely engrossed in waving his toy plane back and forth, each movement accompanied by a hissing 'whoosh' from his lips. Meanwhile, Aimee kept her eyes on me from the moment I stepped back from my father and through the entire drive with her hands folded in her lap.

Once we arrived home, I sat them both on the couch and settled myself in front of them on the coffee table. "Guys, I need to talk to you, so you need to listen to me for a second, okay?"

Zach looked up at me with a confused expression on his face when my hand rested over his toy to still it. "'kay."

Aimee, on the other hand, released a heavy sigh without lifting her gaze. "Bella's coming over again, huh?"

"Yes, baby. She is. And we have something very important to talk to you about, so I really need you both to be good tonight. No outbursts like yesterday, and remember our talk last night," I replied with a meaningful look to my daughter, to which she nodded but immediately stiffened when she heard the sound of a car engine ceasing in the driveway. I rested my hands on each of their knees and gave them a gentle, reassuring squeeze. "It's going to be okay."

I rose to walk to the front door, opening it to find Bella making her way up the front walk. And despite the circumstances, I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her. She met it with one of her own when she looked up at me upon reaching the door. I took her hand in mine, sliding my fingers between hers and she tensed. "We're not hiding anymore, Bella."

Bella nodded and stepped through the doorway, still keeping her hold loose on me as we entered the living room to the curious gazes of my children. They both murmured a soft "hi" and Bella responded with a small, nervous wave.

I sat on the couch beside them, while she lowered into the armchair next to me, attempting again to remove her hand from mine, but I held it securely and looked to my kids. "Now, before we start, I want you both to know that I love you more than anything in this world. And nothing will _ever_ change that. Understand?"

Zach nodded, but Aimee pursed her lips in thought. "You guys getting married or something?"

I glanced over to Bella, who had her head lowered and a slight blush coloring her cheeks. Her hand finally clasped tightly around mine as she inhaled deeply and looked up at me again. _It's now or never_, our eyes seemed to mutually communicate to each other and I turned my gaze back to Aimee and Zach. "No, honey. We're not getting married. We're going to have a new baby."

Aimee gasped and her eyes widened, shifting her gaze to Bella with welling tears. I braced myself for an outburst from her, even after our discussion from the night before, and was surprised when her gaze lowered again. "Is that why you're with her?"

I wrapped my arm around my daughter, lightly brushing Zach's shoulder with the backs of my fingers as he sat remarkably silent. "Aimee, I'm with Bella because I love her, baby or no baby. And she loves me, too. But it does mean that she is going to be around a lot more, and some things are going to change.

"Is she gonna be coming to live with us?" Aimee asked, biting her lip.

"We haven't talked about that yet. And we still have a lot of figuring out to do," I replied, glancing over at Bella. "But it is a possibility sometime in the near future. Especially once the baby comes."

"Baby?" Zach finally spoke, sliding off the couch and moving between us and the coffee table toward Bella. His brow furrowed as he extended his index finger and gently poked her stomach. "You got a baby in your tummy?"

Bella released a soft laugh and nodded. "Yes, there's a baby in my tummy."

"Where?" he asked, flattening his palm against her. "Why no bump?"

"There's no bump yet, buddy. The baby's still too small for that. But there will be soon," I answered, his questioning eyes moving between us.

Zach pulled his hand away from Bella, turning toward me and crawling into my lap, I released my hold on Bella's to wrap my arm around him as he burrowed into my chest. "You not gonna be our daddy anymore?"

I hugged my children against me, pressing a kiss to the top of each of their heads and closed my eyes at the sadness in his tone. "I am always, _always_ going to be your daddy. Just like I was still Aimee's dad when you were born."

"But she's my sissy," Zach replied, looking up at me with his chin resting on my chest.

"This will be our brother or sister, too, Zachy," Aimee said, taking us all by surprise, even though her voice remained soft. "Dad is still the baby's daddy. Right?"

My eyebrows rose at the calm, mature response from her that I was not at all expecting, as she rested her hand over Zach's fist clenching my shirt, and looking up at me. I ran my fingers over her hair and pressed my lips softly to her forehead. "That's right, sweetheart."

Aimee inhaled deeply and sat up, shifting to the edge of the couch. She glanced over at Bella and wrung her hands nervously in her lap. "I'm sorry I was mean to you yesterday, Bella. I promise to be good from now on."

I gazed at my daughter in amazement, feeling very proud as a parent that she had at the very least taken the initiative to apologize to Bella without prompting. But also that there were no outbursts, no venomous glares—she seemed to take it as much in stride as could be expected from a girl her age.

"It's okay, Aimee. I understand. I have a pretty awesome dad, too," Bella replied, offering Aimee and small smile. "I'm also pretty protective of him. And I have a little sister just about your age, and I was quite a bit older than you when she was born."

"Really?" Aimee and I asked simultaneously, my head turning quickly to look at Bella. "You never told me that."

Bella shrugged. "As they say, you never asked."

"Bella?" Aimee asked, her eyes lowered shyly and waiting for Bella's acknowledgement. "Do you wanna stay for dinner? Dad's making pizza."

Bella looked to me in surprise, obviously expecting that as little as I was. Aimee had made some pretty amazing strides in the short span of that evening, but that particular statement rendered us more speechless than anything we'd actually braced ourselves for. Our eyes held for a moment and I gazed at her curiously, watching a soft nervous smile appear on Bella's lips before she looked to my daughter. "I'd love to, Aimee."


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I know, it's been a very long time on these guys. They just simply refused to speak to me any time I sat down to try and write them, And then in the last week, they got chatty, and I wrote two chapters, this one and the next. Chapter ten is still in the pre-read/editing phase. But I hope you enjoy this one. **

**Thank you to my darling ericastwilight for prereading and endless encouragement. :)**

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**Playing the Part 9**

"Dad…Daddy…I know but…No, we're…Daddy, calm down," Bella sighed exasperatedly into the phone as she paced the kitchen, finally holding it away from her ear as her father continued to voice his opinion on the news Bella had just given him. And very loudly.

She had been holding off on telling her father about the pregnancy for another several weeks. Part of me could understand why, musing again over how I would feel if Aimee were ever in Bella's position, as well as giving us time to figure out exactly how we were going to proceed in our relationship. We decided to start off slow, with Bella staying over only a day or two a week, giving the kids a chance to get used to her being around more often. However, we still slept apart—her in my bed and me on the couch.

Yet, there was another part of me, the selfish part, which I staved off as much as possible. I really wanted everything out in the open and to be able to start my life over with Bella and my kids. And when we sat on the couch together the night before, I noticed the very slight rise in the front of her sweater as I ran my hand over her abdomen—and we knew the time had come for things to really begin.

"Not going well?" I mouthed, nodding toward the phone.

Bella shot me a sarcastic look as if to say "what was your first clue, Jessica Fletcher?" before her eyes suddenly widened and she brought the phone back to her ear. "Dad, that's illegal and you know it. I'm twenty-three and it was definitely consensual."

"Isabella!" I heard the bellowing voice echoing from the phone's speaker and even I looked at her with slightly raised eyebrows.

Bella sighed heavily and averted her gaze, turning her attention back to her call. "Look, I know you're upset, but I just wanted to tell you that I was back and why. And I'm not unhappy about it. But please, let me handle it in my own way. I love you, Dad. Hug Sue and Madeline for me."

With that, she ended the call and shakily lowered herself into one of the kitchen chairs, tossing her phone onto the table. I made my way over to her and rested my hands on her shoulders in a comforting gesture. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she whispered, bringing her hand to rest over mine on her right shoulder. "It had to be done. I didn't want to wait until I _really _couldn't hide it anymore. But why does doing the right thing always have to be so hard?"

Our fingers intertwined and she lightly pressed her lips to my wrist, closing her eyes as they lingered on my skin. "Well, the hardest part is over now, right?"

Bella released a humorless laugh and shook her head. "Hardly. We still need to contend with more of the 'what do you mean you're not getting married' line of questioning that my father just started. That was something I knew I just couldn't deal with today. And what about your ex-wife?"

I looked down to her to find her gazing up to me nervously and I lowered into the chair beside her. Realistically, I knew she was right. Jane would likely not take easily to the knowledge that I was having another child, and with Bella on top of it. However, I wouldn't allow her to take her anger out on Bella or my children. "Don't worry about her, baby. I'll handle that when the time comes."

"I'm not worried about you or me. We can take care of ourselves. I just don't even want to begin to imagine what it will mean for Aimee and Zach," she replied softly, her hold tightening a little on my hand.

I gently tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned forward to brush a soft kiss on her lips. "And that is how I know that you are going to be a fantastic mother. But you and my children are everything that matters to me, and I will do everything in my power to protect you. I promise. And as far as that line of questioning from your father—"

"No," Bella interrupted me, shaking her head firmly. "I'm not going to have him pressuring us into something that you're not ready for, that _we're_ not ready for. And I'm not getting married just because I'm pregnant. That's just not how it works."

"Bella, I—" I began, but was again cut off by the opening of the front door and Aimee dropping her schoolbag on the floor to remove her coat. Bella's hand loosened on mine on reflex, but I held it firmly and raised it to my lips to kiss it gently. "We'll talk more later."

"Hi, Dad," Aimee chimed in as she entered the kitchen and then her eyes landed on Bella, her voice lowering significantly. "Oh, hi, Bella."

The transition with Aimee had been, by no means, a simple one, nor had I expected it to be. She honestly tried, but I could see the conflict in her eyes at times, especially after a visit with her mother, like the day before.

"Hi, baby. How was school?" I asked her and she responded with a non-committal shrug. "Are you ready to go see Maria today?"

On the advice of the social worker who observed the visitations, upon voicing my concerns and because of the situation we were in, Bella and I began counseling with the kids. I hadn't known quite what to expect, since Zach was only three and he really didn't have as much comprehension as Aimee did. He usually sat in relative silence, but then, so did my daughter.

Aimee sighed and nodded, walking into the living room to wait for me to get Zach ready to go.

**o~O~o**

"I don't hate Bella," Aimee said when Maria questioned her on her periods of hostility, which she'd displayed a hint of moments before. "But my mom gets mad when I talk about her or my dad. I love my mom, but I don't like visiting her."

Aimee's admission surprised us all, but the shamed look on her face broke my heart into a thousand tiny pieces. I refused to speak ill of my ex-wife in front of my kids, but the anger from the effect she was having on my little girl burned deep inside me. "Baby, I can talk to Theresa about having your mom stop."

"No! That'll make Mom really mad!" Aimee exclaimed, looking up with fearful tears in her eyes and shaking her head. "I don't want her to be mad. But it's like I have to pick between her and my dad, and I _can't_."

I watched the wet streaks trailing down her cheeks as she spoke to Maria again and then tried to lower her head more. When I held my hand out to her, she bit her lip before hesitantly taking it with a soft sniffle. Then suddenly, she rose from her chair and climbed onto my lap, burying her face in my shoulder. I lightly rubbed her back as she began sobbing against me, and I felt more helpless as a father than I ever had before.

"How does it make you feel when your mom talks about your dad and Bella that way, Aimee?" Maria inquired softly, causing Aimee to stiffen in my arms.

"I _hate_ it," Aimee growled into my shirt and then finally lifted her head and rested her temple on my shoulder, watching her fingers toy lightly with my collar.

"So, it makes you angry?"

Aimee nodded slowly once Maria assured her that it was okay, still not raising her eyes. "And sad. And scared."

"Scared?" I asked, looking down at her. "Why are you scared, sweetheart?"

"Because of the baby," Aimee mumbled under her breath and snuggled closer to me. "She's just gonna be madder."

Bella and I shared a tentative glance, each of us inhaling deeply and then looking back to Maria.

"Aimee, are _you_ upset about your dad and Bella having a new baby?" Maria asked, seemingly encouraged by Aimee's sudden openness after weeks of almost complete silence.

Aimee slowly lifted her eyes, nervously looking between Bella and myself, and then shook her head. "No, I like being a big sister. But my mom … she already hates Bella _so_ much. She says it's her fault that my parents split up."

Bella tensed beside me and I reached one of my hands to rest over hers, squeezing gently and then looking back to Aimee. "Honey, you know that's not true, right?"

Aimee's lips trembled as more tears came to her eyes and she shrugged. "In a way, I guess. But Mom says you were with Bella before you split up and I remember you guys fighting about her, too. She called her a whore."

Bella's head shot up and she looked over to me quickly, and I closed my eyes and sighed.

"I don't even know what that is, but it sounded like something bad," Aimee murmured, hiding her face in my chest.

"Aimee, you've done an excellent job here today. Why don't you and Zach go out to the front desk and ask Heidi for one of the treats from the secret stash, if that's okay with your dad," Maria said soothingly, her voice dropping with the hint of a conspiratorial tone as she looked at me in silent question, to which I nodded my consent. "I just need to talk to Dad and Bella for a few minutes."

Aimee looked up at me with a guilty look in her eyes and I gave her a reassuring smile, kissing her lightly on the forehead. "It's okay, baby. I'm very proud of you."

She relaxed slightly at my words and then gazed briefly at Bella. Aimee's expression was one I couldn't decipher, but as soon as Bella offered her a smile, she finally slid off my lap, taking her brother's hand and leading him out of the room.

Maria waited until the door closed behind them and she could hear Heidi's voice speaking to them just outside, and then returned her gaze to me and Bella. "First of all, I want to say that Aimee's progress today really _has_ been phenomenal. Far more than I ever would have expected at this stage. That she could do this so soon really speaks to her feeling of security with you as a parent. She knows she's safe talking about these things with you, and also in Bella's presence, which is remarkable. And assuring her that she did well was the best thing you could have done, Edward. That being said, however."

Her voice trailed off and Bella's hold on my hand tightened nervously. I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles in an attempt to calm her, never taking my expectant gaze off Maria. "However?"

"I know we've discussed your concerns about your ex-wife in the past, and it's a large part of why you all have come here in the first place. But do you feel there is any validity to Aimee's fears at this point? Has she mentioned anything at all about whatever it is that her mother might be saying to her?"

I slowly shook my head, looking over to Bella, who mirrored my response. "No. I mean, I suspected there might be something with Aimee's behavior after each visitation, obviously. But she's never said anything like this before. When I ask her how her visit went with her mother, she always just says 'fine', and leaves it at that. And I'm not going to be one of those parents who pumps their kids for information."

"Nor should you be, and that is a very wise decision. It would only fuel her anger and frustration. But I think it might be a good idea for us to have a session with your ex-wife included, but not the children."

"No, I won't subject Bella or the baby to that, either," I replied sharply, shaking my head. "I can't trust my ex-wife to be in the same room with her."

"Edward, if it's important for the kids—" Bella started, stopping abruptly as I turned my eyes to her.

"It's out of the question. It's guaranteed stress that you do not need," I said in a firm tone.

"Then maybe just the three of us?" Maria asked with a slight tilt of her head. "I am concerned that if this issue isn't resolved, the welfare of the children could become severely compromised, and the likelihood of Aimee regressing would be high."

I drove my fingers into my hair and felt Bella's hand release mine, and then draped her arm around my shoulder. "It's probably the best option, Edward. For us, _and_ for you."

"And if Jane won't come?" I asked, looking up at Maria.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there. But the question I have right now is, are _you_ willing?"

I turned my head to glance at Bella and she gave me a gentle squeeze on the shoulder. I let out a heavy breath and nodded, my eyes lowering to my lap. As much as I did not wish to have any contact with Jane whatsoever, it wasn't about me. "Yes, I'll do anything for my kids."

"Good. And I think it might not hurt to have a session or two with just me and the children. Especially now. Sometimes, they tend to open up even more freely if they aren't worried about angering or upsetting a parent. And if Aimee opens up more, Zach might feel more comfortable speaking his mind as well," Maria added, and I nodded, reiterating again that I would do _anything_ for my children. Though, it scared me to think of what more could be on Aimee's mind with all she had already verbalized that day.

**o~O~o**

After speaking with Theresa about Maria's suggestion, I figuratively held my breath, waiting for the call with Jane's tumultuous response. I was to be surprised, however, when the phone rang barely two hours later, informing me that Jane had agreed.

That was easy. Too easy. I had prepared myself for resistance, even some lashing out, but not instant acquiescence—which made me more nervous, if possible, knowing my ex-wife as I did.

For her part, Bella tried to be as supportive and comforting as she could, even offering to attend with me on several occasions, and each time, I gave an emphatic 'no'. As much as she tried to hide it, I could see the strain of her emotions just with the pregnancy—the tears she didn't want me to see, the stress she felt over the simplest things, etc. I could not subject her to Jane's wrath, especially since the pregnancy was going to be brought to light in that room.

Bella tried convincing me one last time as I was putting on my coat to leave when the day arrived. "Edward, I can handle it. I mean, it's not like I've never been face to face with her before and I'm clueless to what she's like."

"No," I replied resolutely, turning to face her to find tears welling in her eyes at my harsh tone. I sighed, taking her face between my hands and kissing her gently. "Bella, I wouldn't put you in the same room with her again even if you _didn't _have my baby inside you. I love you and you don't deserve the vileness from her, under _any_ circumstances. But you also have to understand that when I say that I will do anything to protect my children, I _always_ mean every single one of them."

Bella swallowed hard and nodded with closed eyes when my hands lowered to rest on either side of her abdomen, gently running hers along my arms as I rested my forehead against hers. "I know. I just feel like such a coward, sending you off to fight all the battles."

"You're not, baby. This is my decision to take it on for my family," I whispered, brushing a kiss on the tip of her nose and her grip tightened on my shoulders with a soft smile gracing her lips. "I'll be back before you know it."

"Daddy!" Aimee called out from the top of the stairs as I pulled away from Bella and headed for the door. She raced down to me and jumped into my arms, hugging me tightly around the neck. "Please remember, don't tell Mommy what I said."

I hugged her tightly and kissed her hair, rocking her gently back and forth as her legs wrapped around my waist. "Don't worry, sweetheart. That's between us and Maria. We just have to let Mom know that she's upsetting you, not what you told us."

Aimee lifted her head and I held her with one arm, lifting my other hand to brush away her tears. "Okay."

"Okay," I returned, offering her a smile, which she weakly returned. "I really have to go, though. You'll be good for Bella? I love you, baby."

Aimee nodded as I set her down and I kissed the top of her head. "Love you, too, Daddy."

I straightened to kiss Bella's cheek one more time before I left and heard her whisper, "By the way, I love you, too."

**o~O~o**

The tension in the waiting room that afternoon was thick and daunting. I had not seen Jane in months, I had moved on with my life in nearly every way possible—I was happy. Yet, a few moments in my ex-wife's presence still had the power to set my whole body rigid, as if every nerve in my body was raw and exposed. Even from the opposite side of the room, I could feel her eyes on me, hear the impatient bouncing of her heeled foot, and the soft click of the button of her phone being pressed, incessantly checking the time. I briefly considered a snide comment in my irritation, but thought better of it and observed the public practice I'd become accustomed to in our last three years of marriage—biting my tongue and praying for time to pass.

Maria's door finally opened and she stepped out, looking around the room until she found me. "Ah, Edward. I'm so sorry for keeping you waiting. Are we all here?"

Jane rose from her seat, smoothing down her pencil-line skirt and then held her hand out to Maria. "Yes, I am Jane Cullen, Aimee and Zachary's mother."

I tried to keep my features from assuming the look of disgust at the sound of her name as we made our way into Maria's office. "I thought you were changing your name back."

"It's more convenient to have the same name as my children," Jane replied, floating into the room with a confident air about her and sitting down.

"_Our_ children," I snarled as I settled into the chair beside her, to which she subtly rolled her eyes and then smiled at Maria.

I could see that gone was the remorseful, even somewhat compassionate, Jane from months before, urging me to find happiness, and in her place, was the cold, venomous woman I'd shared the end of my marriage with. And that was most likely the woman that my children had been visiting.

"Well, we are very informal here, so last names are of little concern," Maria interjected as she sat at her desk, her eyes locked with my ex-wife. "I am Maria, it's a pleasure to meet you, Jane."

"Likewise," Jane replied in a forced polite tone and a curt nod.

Maria went through the motions of explaining why we were there; her concerns for the children. That Aimee felt torn between us and that Zach had become increasingly restrained in each of our sessions. And then … the bombshell.

"_She's_ pregnant?" Jane seethed, her icy eyes locking on me. "Boy, you sure don't waste any time, do you? Then again, must have been pretty easy with a home wrecking whore."

My nostrils flared and my jaw clenched, turning my glare to her. "Really. Is this how you speak around our children, too?"

"Edward," Maria tried to interjecting, attempting to calm me.

"No, this is supposed to be a safe place to say however we feel, right? And my children aren't present to overhear, because unlike some, I don't denigrate my children's other parent in front of them." My breaths were coming in slow, heavy draws, and I felt three years of anger and frustration I thought I'd moved past and gotten out of my system already bubbling up inside me. I stood from my chair, staring down at my ex-wife's stunned face. "Yes, Jane, I said _my_ children. They aren't pawns in my stupid little games, they aren't sounding boards for my frustrations and petty grievances in life, they are my _children_. You may have given birth to them, but _no_ mother has the right to put her children through the hell you've put Aimee and Zach through."

"How dare you speak to me that way! You took my children _away_ from me. I can't even hug them any more without someone over my shoulder, scrutinizing everything I do," Jane snarled, her glare boring through me. "And now you're playing happy little family with this little bitch and having another baby when you can't support the two you already have."

"Jane, Edward, this is not productive. We all need to calm down," Maria tried to interject diplomatically.

"I support them just fine, and don't _you_ dare talk about Bella that way," I growled back, ignoring Maria's attempt. I could feel my anger reaching its boiling point, and as much as I tried to rein it in, it felt nearly impossible at that moment.

Jane rolled her eyes and folded her arms over her chest. "It's a free country, and I'll talk about _her_ any way I please. And you only support them with _my_ money, just like you always did, and I'll be damned if you use my money to take care of your little bastard, too. I'll go to court, if I have to."

"You do that. And when I meet you there, I'll tell the judge to cease your visitation rights until you start taking your medication again," I retorted, sitting down roughly in my chair again.

Jane's eyes went wide and she blanched, her voice coming out in stammers as she spoke. "Y-you have no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh, I really think I do, Jane. I've seen you on your medication, and this isn't it. And I will _not_ risk my children's safety like this," I replied, keeping my voice as level as I could manage, considering my frame of mind. "And I won't have you upsetting them by speaking of me, Bella or their little brother or sister this way."

"Is this the case, Jane? Have you not been taking your medication as directed?" Maria asked in a soft tone.

Jane looked away from both of us, tightening her arms around herself. "I may have missed a few doses when they were making me ill, but nothing like he's insinuating."

"And that's one of the stipulations in the visitation order, that she consistently take her medication and be monitored," I added, never taking my gaze off my ex-wife. "You tell your doctor when they are making you ill, you don't just stop taking it. I know you love them, Jane. But right now, you are tearing our kids apart. Aimee is angry and confused, and Zach is so withdrawn, it's scaring me. He's started wetting the bed again every couple of nights after six months of dry ones, and the only time he's really spoken in the last few weeks is to tell me that he's been bad. I can't watch them go through this, and I won't."

I could feel Maria's eyes moving between us and finally, she cleared her throat and leaned forward on her desk. "Well, if this is indeed the case, I'm afraid I am legally bound to contact Child Protective Services and make a petition to the court to grant emergency and temporary sole custody to Mr. Cullen. Until which time the status of your care can be re-evaluated."

"No! You can't do that! I only see my kids four hours a week as it is. Please, I _need_ my children," Jane pleaded with Maria with tears forming in her eyes.

"I appreciate that, ma'am," Maria said with a sigh, but sounding more professional than I'd heard since meeting her. "However, I have an obligation to my clients to ensure their physical, mental and emotional well-being, and I must pursue this course of action."

Jane's eyes returned to me sharply. "So this is why you brought me here? To sabotage me and take them away from me again?"

"No, I brought you here to open your eyes to how your actions are affecting our kids. The world isn't out to get you, and I'm not taking them away, but they need their _mother_. And you can't be that until you take care of yourself," I replied, shaking my head solemnly. "I'm sorry, Jane. But we're done here. This isn't up for debate. Not with our children."

With that, I stood and made my way out of the office, my nerves on edge. Once I settled into my car, I pulled out my phone to call Bella, telling her that I would be a little longer than planned. I tried to ease her worry, assuring her that I was fine, even if I was anything _but_.

I couldn't allow my children to see me that way, or Bella, for that matter. I was a plethora of conflicting emotions—anger, frustration, guilt, and even a little sadness. I should have been more aware as to what was going on; my kids should have never had to go through that again. My own feelings about my ex-wife did not affect the love they bore for her, nor would I ever want them to. While I despised the thought of denying Aimee and Zach of their mother, even if only temporarily, all the obvious signs were there all along and I had to do what was best for my children. I could only pray that someday they would understand and not grow to resent me for it.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I have started the next part of this story, so hopefully these characters will keep talking to me as they have, and I can get it all written up for you all. **

**Thank you Erica for reading this over for me, and to all of you for reading :)**

* * *

**Playing the Part 10**

I walked in the door after driving around for over an hour to calm myself enough to go home, and I was met by Bella and Aimee engulfing me in their arms.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked softly in my ear and I nodded, tightening my hold with the arm I had around her.

"Was Mommy mad?" Aimee asked with teary eyes gazing up at me.

The same question lingered in Bella's eyes and Zach looked up to me from his seat on the living room floor. I forced a smile onto my face and led them both to the couch, while my son remained stationary in his place. "No, baby. Your mom isn't mad at you. But you and your brother might not be able see her again for a little while."

"Is she sick again?" Aimee asked with her tiny frame pressed against my side.

I looked over to Bella for a moment, the worried crease in her forehead as her eyes flickered between mine for the answer. "Yes, Aimee. Mom is sick again."

"Mommy go to hop-spital?" Zach asked suddenly and all of our gazes moved to him in surprise.

My heart constricted in my chest at his fearful look as he finally broke his silence and I gestured for him to join us on the couch. He appeared to contemplate it for a moment before hesitantly rising to his feet and climbing onto my lap, curling into a tight ball once there. I released Bella's hand and wrapped my arm around Zach, hugging him against my chest. "No, buddy. Hopefully no hospitals for Mommy this time. She just has to go to the doctor again to get better."

"But doctors in hop-spital," he mumbled, burrowing closer into me.

I fought to hold the calm I'd worked to attain during my drive, but with both of my frightened children nestled against me, it was very challenging. It never ceased to gnaw at me how much my kids had been forced to see and understand at such a young age, and there was nothing I could do to fix it, or even truly comfort them. However, I knew I had to try. "Not all doctors are in hospitals, Zach. Dr. Molina isn't in a hospital, right?"

Zach looked up at me quickly at the mention of his pediatrician, his little brow furrowing. "Does Mommy need a shot? Cuz dey _hurt_."

"No, there won't be any shots. I promise," I replied, smiling for the first time in hours at both the innocent wonder of a three-year-old, and the easing of his little body in my arms at such a simple promise. "She will just need to go to someone kind of like Maria, and they will help her get better."

"And then she'll be nice and love us again?" Aimee asked sadly.

My smile instantly faded with her question and I hugged her tighter, kissing the top of her head. "Aimee, your mother _always_ loves you, and always has. Both of you."

"Will she be nice about Bella and the baby, too?" she inquired softly, pulling away from me a little and looking over to her. Aimee's face contorted slightly in deep thought, slowly sliding off the couch to the floor and making nervous movements toward Bella.

I watched my daughter for a moment, not saying a word as she came to a stop, kneeling beside Bella's legs with eyes fixated on her abdomen. Aimee's shaky hand rose, biting her lip as it gently rested on the small swell there and her fingers twitched a little. It was the most voluntary contact she'd ever made with Bella since her arrival and the news of the pregnancy, and to say the suddenness of it surprised me would be an understatement. Aimee had made some significant strides recently, but that was the last thing I had ever expected.

"I really don't hate you, Bella," Aimee said softly, lifting her eyes to look at the woman sitting in front of her. "But I love my mom."

Bella's gaze softened as she brought her hand to rest over Aimee's on her stomach, and surprisingly, my little girl didn't flinch at all. "I know that, Aimee. You should love her. And I don't hate you, either. Never have."

"Even when I was being mean to you?" Aimee asked with remorseful tears rimming her eyes.

"_Never_," Bella emphasized gently and Aimee's head lowered to rest on her thigh.

"And your mom will try harder to be nice about Bella, and now the baby, too. As soon as she's better," I said finally, hoping against hope that I wasn't making an empty promise.

Zach's head rose from my chest and he shifted his body to lay back on my chest, looking over at Bella. "There's a bump!"

We both chuckled as he pointed to Bella's stomach, where the two girls' hands were still resting. "Yes, buddy. There's a bump now."

**o~O~o**

We all sat for a couple of hours there on the couch, the children curiously touching Bella's stomach and asking us both an endless line of questions. It was refreshing to see them on the return path to normalcy and more animated than I'd seen either of them in weeks. However, things became slightly uncomfortable when Zach finally asked the dreaded question to any parent's ear—"how did you put the baby in Bella's tummy?"

Fortunately, it was time to feed them and put them to bed, and I placated him for the moment by saying I would tell him some other time.

Once the kids were in bed, Bella and I sat cuddled on the couch, enjoying the closeness after having two little bodies between us all evening.

"So, what _really_ happened?" Bella asked after a while, running her fingers along the line of buttons on my shirt. "I know it couldn't have possibly been as G-rated as you explained it to the kids if you couldn't come home right away."

I sighed and gave her as brief of a rendition as possible, not particularly wishing to revisit fully it myself. We both remained quiet for several moments afterward and I tightened my arms around her, pressing my lips to her hair. "Bella, we need to talk."

Bella stilled in my arms, lifting her eyes to mine nervously. "About what?"

I traced my fingers along her cheek, kissing her gently as the thoughts that had been running through my mind all week came to the forefront again. "About the conversation we still need to have that we never got to finish earlier this week."

"Edward." Bella sighed heavily, extracting herself from my hold and sliding to the edge of the couch. "I already said I wasn't getting married just because of the baby. It should be because we _want_ to, without any outside influence."

"And you don't want to?" I asked curiously, shifting forward to look at her more fully.

"I didn't say that," she replied, staring down at her fiddling fingers in her lap. "But would we be having this conversation at this point if I _wasn't _pregnant? We're both just finding our footing, figuring this whole thing out. Should we really be talking about something as serious as that?"

"Firstly," I began, resting my hand on her knee. "I would have asked you to marry me months ago, if I could have. I don't want to be with you just because you're having my baby. I've loved you longer than I was supposed to. And I would always love you, with or without the baby. Secondly."

I trailed off, waiting for her eyes to meet mine and when they did, I leaned toward her to kiss her soundly. I felt her sharp intake of breath, followed by her hand resting gently on my face. When we finally parted, our foreheads rested together and her eyes remained closed as she breathlessly whispered, "And secondly?"

"You are right that we are still figuring this out and should probably wait to take a step like that until we're both ready. But my children aren't going to become any more adjusted than they already are with you being here once or twice a week, and I can't spend another night here without you. I don't want to be a phone call away if you need me, I want to be there already. And _I_ need _you_, Bella. I think we should maybe discuss with Maria her thoughts on you moving in here with us."

I felt Bella's eyes flutter open with her lashes brushing with mine, and her fingers began tracing along my face again as she began slowly pressing soft kisses against my skin. My forehead, my cheeks, my jaw, my closed eyes, the tip of my nose, my chin, and finally, my lips. "I love you. But are you sure that's the best thing?"

I opened my eyes to find her gazing back at me, listening to her soft breaths quicken as her hand pressed along my jaw. "Bella, we've already spent so much time apart, albeit, most of it was necessary. But that's not the case now. And in the end, I don't think that tiptoeing around the kids is going to help them adjust any easier. They both seem to want to be involved with the pregnancy, and so do I. And watching you change gradually might make the adjustment to it all easier for them than suddenly noticing things that can take place in the matter of days. It may seem subtle to us, but to them, every change could be _huge_."

Bella slowly nodded as she ran over everything I'd just said in her mind before meeting my eyes again. "So, would you still sleep on the couch?"

I pressed my lips to her cheek and ran my hand along her side. "Maybe for now, until we can discuss it with Maria. But not for long. I don't know how much longer I can wait to wake up with you in my arms."

"I thought I was the only one," Bella said in a breathy whisper, followed by a soft laugh.

"Definitely not," I replied, meeting her lips with mine and wrapping my arms wrap around her. I lifted her to sit across my lap, cradling her against me and feeling her fingers weave into my hair in response.

"Do you think we could at least…you know?" Bella asked softly, biting her lip and motioning her head toward the hall—the hall leading to my bedroom, that hopefully soon we could call _ours_.

Between the delicate nature of our situation, being careful not to do anything that might upset the kids, and Bella's random bouts of nausea, we hadn't had the opportunity to be exceedingly intimate since her return. Mostly, we'd kissed and given in to some touching, but for one reason or another, we'd always needed to stop. Whether it was a cry from the bedroom above us from Zach, Aimee coming downstairs after a nightmare, or as was often the case, Bella's dash for the bathroom with the jostling of her body. Yet, no matter what the cause, my erection would always return later in the evening as I lay alone, and I'd admittedly had to take care of the situation myself before I had any hope of sleeping. One would think that after more than two years of celibacy, a few weeks or months wouldn't be that big of a deal—and they would be wrong.

"Are you sure? You're feeling okay?" I asked huskily as my hand gripped her side gently in an attempt to pull her closer.

"Yes, I haven't been sick in days," she replied, brushing my lips with hers as she shifted to straddle my legs and pressed against my rapidly hardening length. "And the last time I felt you inside me was when we made this little person. You have _no_ idea how frustrating it is to be nauseous with the slightest movement and _so_ fucking horny at the same time."

Bella's mouth crushed mine heatedly, whimpering when her hips rocked against mine and whispering pleas of want and need for me. I gently slid my hands beneath her thighs and lifted her in my arms as I stood, groaning as her legs wrapped around my waist. Her hands roamed my face and neck, finally moving into my hair as I carried her into the bedroom. I held her with one arm as I closed and locked the door behind us before lowering her feet to the floor.

"I've missed you," she whispered, still holding my face between her hands as she kissed me and then trailed them down to begin unbuttoning my shirt.

"I've missed you, too," I panted, running my hands down over her hips. I wanted so much to take my time with her, to love her as she deserved to be loved, but I know we couldn't be guaranteed that option. Even without her nausea, there was always the chance of one or both of my children needing me at any time, and we had to be prepared for that. So we probably appeared more like over-eager teenagers than the full grown adults we were as we quickly shed one piece of each other's clothing after another as we made our way to the bed, settling upon it completely bared. She kept trying to pull me down to her but I was naturally hesitant about putting my full weight on her.

"You're not going to hurt me or the baby," Bella murmured against my lips with a hint of desperation in her tone, accentuated by her fingers gripping at my back.

"I know. But I'm going to be careful nonetheless," I replied, kissing along her neck.

I muffled a grunt against her shoulder as I entered her, overwhelmed with the sensation of being inside her again. A heavy breath escaped her as she embraced me and brushed her lips against my jaw. I remained still for a moment, just absorbing the sensations that were consuming me before I began to move.

Our soft sounds of pleasure filled the room and I propped up on my elbows to gaze down at her as I made love to the woman I adored more than life itself. Everything about that moment was so much different than any other instance in the past. Despite our hurried path toward the bed, there was nothing rushed or frenzied about our movements then, as I might have expected after so long of being apart that way. I still felt all the passion and desire radiating between us, saw the heat burning deep in her eyes, and though I never truly thought that it was just sex with her, it really hit home right then.

I really _had_ been falling in love with her since that night at her truck; the first time we actually talked and I felt her lips against mine. It had always been more than just a physical attraction and a need to fill a void that was missing in my life. Bella herself was exactly what I had been waiting for all along.

My lips met hers gently as I glided in and out of her and I felt her soft whimper against me with each movement. I pulled away and grazed her cheek lightly with the backs of my fingers. "You okay, baby?"

Bella nodded in response as she gripped my shoulders firmly and her hips rose to mine. "More, Edward. Please."

I kissed her gently and lifted my body from hers, chuckling at her groan of protest. "Roll on your side, Bella."

Her eyes met mine for a moment before complying and I settled on the bed behind her, running my hand along her thigh to lift it slightly. I slid inside her again and her hand rose to reach behind her, shuddering as she gripped my hair in her fingers.

"Better?" I asked, my lips against her neck as I pressed deep inside her.

"Mmm, much. Oh, God," Bella breathed out, her head rolling back against my shoulder.

I rested my hand on her lower abdomen, relishing in the feel of the slight rise there as I nuzzled my nose into her hair. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too," she whispered back, placing her hand over mine and turning her head to kiss my temple as she guided my fingers to settle between her legs. "Please, touch me."

I hummed contentedly as I began stroking her warm, soft skin in time with my thrusts, causing a beautiful moan to rumble from her and I felt the vibrations from it against my chest. Her fingers guided my movements more quickly and her breaths began accelerating until the muscles in her legs started to tremble.

"Oh shit, yes," she groaned quietly as her lips parted from mine and her eyes squeezed shut, and I watched her orgasm wash over her.

Much to my regret, I felt the tightening in the pit of my stomach building, signaling my imminent joining with her in the beautiful abyss. Her fingers wove with mine and brought them to settle on her chest, and our lips met again as I released inside her.

As our bodies stilled and calmed, I felt her trailing kisses from the corner of my mouth and across my cheek, pressing her back more firmly against me. "Thank God."

My eyes opened at her statement and looked down to find tears gliding down her temple. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. It's stupid," she mumbled, wiping the moisture from her skin and turning her face into the pillow beneath her head.

"Hey," I whispered, pulling back and guiding her with my hand to turn and look at me, but her eyes remained lowered. "Tell me."

"No, I don't want to ruin this," she replied softly, taking my face between her hands and kissing me firmly. I whispered her name against her lips and her shoulders slumped as she realized that I wasn't going to let it go. "I'm just relieved that you still want me."

My eyes widened with her words and she curled her body against me, hiding her face in my chest. Why had something like that even crossed her mind? Had I done or said anything to make her believe I didn't want her? I wracked my brain to try to think of something, and I came up short. "Bella, why would you think I wouldn't?"

Bella shrugged and shook her head, staring at her fingers as they traced over my chest. "Some men just don't, you know? When their girlfriend or wife gets pregnant, especially if it wasn't planned. Kills the desirability a bit. I told you it was stupid. It's just the damn hormones, I guess."

"Baby, that's not stupid," I replied, my lips ghosting over her forehead before her eyes suddenly shot up to mine. I brought my hand to her cheek and kissed her gently, and then shook my head. "I'm not saying that you're not wrong. But _nothing _could kill my desire for you, least of all, you having my baby."

"You're _really_ happy, then?" she asked nervously, her gaze holding mine with a worried crease appearing on her forehead.

I smiled and nodded, wrapping my arms around her. "Yes, I'm _really_ happy, Bella."

Her lips twitched little and then her face grew contemplative as she stared at my chest again. "So, if I were to move in … would that mean no more late night showers?"

I closed my eyes and rested my forehead on hers, feeling my face and neck heat slightly at the knowledge that I hadn't been quite as subtle as I'd thought. "It was that obvious? I'm sorry, baby."

"For what?" she chuckled softly and her hand ran along my arm, and I buried my face in the crook of her neck. "It's fine, honey. I just know that there's only so many reasons for a man to take more than one shower a day. And I wasn't sure why you were resorting to that, especially when I was laying right here."

"Never because I didn't want you, baby. _Never_. Just didn't think you'd be up for it when you weren't feeling well," I replied, finally lifting my head to look at her again. "But yes, I promise no more late night showers, whether you move in or not."

"Edward, that's not what I meant," Bella said softly, tracing her fingers through my hair. "But I do want to. I'd love to fall asleep next to you every night and wake up in your arms. And _not_ just because Angela's sleeper sofa is _killing_ my back."

We both laughed quietly and I rubbed my hand along her spine. She gave a soft sigh and closed her eyes, humming in a contented groan with my actions. "I'd love that, too, Bella."

"But only if it's okay with the kids," Bella added, her gaze locking with mine again. "So yeah, I think we should talk with Maria about it at the next session."

"Okay," I answered with a smile, kissing her gently as her leg draped over mine.

A creak of the stairs outside the room halted our movements, and it was followed shortly thereafter by a soft whimper of "Daddy?"

Bella and I rushed to get out of bed and I grabbed sleep pants out of my drawer while she quickly retrieved one of my t-shirts and a pair of shorts. As soon as we were both sufficiently covered, I hurried to the door and opened it to find Zach standing just outside.

"I go potty in my bed, Daddy," he cried, looking up to me with tears streaming down his cheeks and red, puffy eyes.

I furrowed my brow, almost certain I had put a pull-up on him before bed and looked down to find it hanging half off, torn at the side. His pajama bottoms were also missing.

"Did you have a bad dream, buddy?" I asked gently as I lifted him into my arms and carried him into the bathroom to clean him up.

Zach nodded as he held tight around my neck, tiny sobs still escaping him. As I'd informed Jane that evening, there had been several nights such as those that he'd started wetting the bed. His sleep was so fitful with nightmares that he'd kick off his blankets and pajamas and even the pull-ups didn't hold up against his thrashing some nights. "I sowwy."

"Nothing to be sorry about, Zach. Everybody has accidents," I soothed him as I set him on the floor to undress him.

"Even Daddy?"

A stifled giggle caught my attention from behind me and I looked back to find Bella pressing her lips firmly together. She quickly cleared her throat and pointed behind her. "I'll go change his bed for you."

I turned my attention back to my son, who was still gazing at me with glistening, but curious eyes, a lowered down to crouch in front of him. "Yeah, buddy. Even Daddy had accidents when he was a little boy. And we all have bad dreams, too. You remember what I told you about those dreams?"

Zach's lips twisted in thought as I wiped him down with a warm washcloth and then he stepped into the clean pull-up I held for him. "Monstew's awen't weal, and Daddy make it aw bettew."

"That's right. Good job," I replied, kissing the top of his head and then felt something tap my shoulder. I looked up again to find Bella standing there, holding out a clean pair of pajamas for Zach.

"Thought you might need these," she whispered softly and I offered her a smile, before she disappeared out the door again.

"Is Bewwa mad at me?" Zach asked, bringing my attention back to him in surprise and watching his lip start to tremble with the tears welling in his eyes again.

My chest tightened painfully and I hugged him back into my arms, lifting him as I stood, carrying him back into the bedroom. I settled him onto my lap and began sliding the clean pajamas on him. The look on his face was heartbreaking, and his distress was becoming more and more pronounced as he had increasing problems with his "l's" and "r's". "No, buddy. Bella is absolutely _not_ mad at you. There's nothing to be mad _at_."

"I s'pose to be a big boy," he sniffled, laying his head on my chest.

"You _are_ a big boy, Zach. You haven't had an accident in two whole nights. You couldn't do that if you weren't a big boy," I replied, sliding his pants on and then lifting him to kneel on my lap. "You wanna go back upstairs or stay here with Daddy?"

Zach nuzzled his forehead against my shoulder and then looked to the doorway of my room where Bella stood, having come back again from upstairs. "Stay wit' Daddy."

I glanced to her as well, offering a small smile, which she returned with an understanding one of her own. "I'll see you both in the morning."

"Daddy?" Zach's little voice murmured softly and my eyes fell to meet his. "Can Bewwa stay wit' us?"

Both Bella and I gazed at Zach in surprise with his request and then looked to each other for a moment. "Would you like Bella to stay with us?"

He only nodded shyly in response, his face lowered slightly.

"Okay, Zach. I'll stay," Bella said gently and moved back into the room.

"All right, climb up into bed and I'll be right back," I said, kissing the top of his head as I lifted him from my lap and he crawled up to the head of the bed, sliding under the covers. I stood to make my way back into the bathroom to clean up and change again before returning to the bedroom.

Zach laid in the middle of the bed, nestled under the blankets with Bella lightly stroking his soft, blond hair from behind him. It was an image that began burning into my memory as I briefly mused that it wouldn't be long before our son or daughter might join us someday that way, too. Maybe even someday, all the kids would be huddled there with us watching cartoons on Saturday morning or with a movie and a big bowl of popcorn some night. I knew we still had a long road ahead before that might become a reality, but the future seemed to, at last, have a brighter light at the end of the tunnel.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So sorry about the delay in this chapter posting. I got sidetracked, and also had to think long and hard about this particular chapter, so it's taken me a few weeks to get around to finally posting it. I really do apologize for taking so long. This will be one of my main focuses to try to complete in short order, as well as All I Want For Christmas. Praying for 2012 to be a more productive year for me. :)**

**Thank you to you all for sticking with me, and also to those of you just starting to read my stories. I really wish I had more hours in the day to reply to all the lovely reviews for each of my stories, and let you guys know how much they really mean to me. But I truly do appreciate every single one, and I sincerely thank you all for taking the time to do so.**

**And thank you once again to Erica for taking time out of her busy writing schedule to give these a once over and point out my bonehead errors :) You're so awesome. **

* * *

**Playing the Part 11**

The day following the office visit with Maria, I received a phone call from my lawyer to inform me that a petition had indeed been submitted, and by that afternoon, I had been awarded the emergency sole custody of my two children. This remained suspiciously silent with Jane for several weeks. Combined with my nervousness on what she might be concocting, as much as I hated to admit it, I was also growing a little concerned.

Despite all that had happened between us, she was still the mother of my children. It also did not erase the fact that I had spent nearly half my life with her, with our marriage and the years of dating before. We'd shared a home and a bed, and at one time, had been very much in love with each other. Aside from my anger and my desire to see her as little as humanly possible, there would always be a part of me that cared, to a degree, and I would never wish harm upon my children's mother.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Bella's voice cut through my daze one night, her hands sliding around my chest as she stood behind my chair. "You look a million miles away again."

As had been the pattern in the last few days, I was supposed to be reading over my lines before rehearsal the next evening, but instead, the heavy stack of pages lay on my lap. My hand dropped from where I'd been tracing a distracted line back and forth below my lips with my fingers and I looked up to her. Noting the worry in her eyes, I placed a smile on my face and kissed the inside of her elbow. "It's nothing, baby. Just have a lot on my mind."

"Seems to be an almost constant state for you lately," she said softly, bringing one of her hands to run lightly through my hair. I had tried to keep everything buried and off of her, but she had a way breaking through all my crap. "Save the actor for the stage. You can talk to me, you know. Maybe I can help? I mean, that _is_ part of being a live-in girlfriend, isn't it?"

Her eyebrow rose as she spoke gently and my smile became a little more genuine as I removed my reading glasses, setting them and the script on the end table beside me. Taking her hand from my chest, I guided her around to sit on my lap and wrapped my arms around her waist. With the blessing from my children, Bella had officially moved in two weeks before, so the novelty hadn't quite worn off yet, even though we seemed to function as well as if we'd been together for years. She had begun a part time job at that little coffee shop during the week, so she got up in the morning to feed the kids and get them ready for the day before waking me up shortly before she had to leave for work. I would make dinner and have it prepared for her to heat up before we'd meet in the parking lot to switch cars at the end of her shift, so she could take the children home while I went to rehearsal, without shuffling Aimee and Zach around.

We were a well-oiled, efficient machine.

However, I did have the tendency to keep my thoughts and concerns to myself—old habits die hard. But I also didn't want Bella to get the wrong message about my concerns with Jane, due to her elevated emotional state that was still accompanying her pregnancy.

"Don't tell me nothing's wrong, Edward. You've been distant for days," she said, shaking her head. "And I can also see right through your attempts at lying, too. You know that. So what is it?"

I gazed at her for a moment and leaned forward to kiss her, but before our lips could meet, we were interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. I glanced down at my watch—it was a little past nine. Who the hell would be coming over that late in the evening?

Bella rose from my lap and began toward the door, but I reached for her hand to stop her and shook my head. "I'll get it."

I stood and quickly walked to the entryway, looking through the peephole and releasing a heavy sigh before opening the door. "Kate, both the kids are asleep. Why don't you come back tomorrow?"

My former sister-in-law's eyes narrowed at me and she folded her arms in front of her, looking remarkably like Jane in that moment, despite her flaming red hair. "Look, I'm none too thrilled to be in your presence, either. But it's _because_ the children are asleep that I am. I'm not any more of a fan of yours than I was when you were married to my sister, but I think we can put our differences aside for Aimee and Zach, can't we?"

Kate and I had never gotten along, from the day I started dating Jane, and having her in my doorway was causing me no small level of discomfort. But one thing I could never dispute was how much she adored her niece and nephew, so if she wanted to discuss them, I would willingly oblige.

I stepped back from the door to let her in and she passed by me stiffly, slowing when her eyes met Bella in the living room and pursing her lips. "So, this is her, huh?"

I tensed as I moved toward Bella as she shifted uncomfortably, sliding my arm around her waist. "What is it that you need to say, Kate? If it's about the kids, let's please get on with it. But if it's about Jane or you mean to insult my girlfriend in our own home, then I must ask you to leave."

"Of course, it's about Jane. And whether you like it or not, her welfare _does_ affect your children," Kate sneered, but there was an almost imperceptible twitch to her lower lip before she pressed them both into a hard line.

"That's not what I meant, and you know it," I replied with a hint of a snarl, my jaw clenching almost painfully.

Kate's demeanor seemed to shift with her heavy sigh and she crossed the room to settle onto the couch. "I _do_ know that, Edward. One thing I've never been able to doubt with you is how much those two children mean to you. And that's why I've come here, personal feelings aside. I'm _really_ worried about Jane.

I gave Bella's waist a gentle squeeze before pulling away to resume my seat on the chair, while she sat beside me on the arm. Kate's eyes cut sharply to her and Bella began to rise again until I took her hand. "Each of us plays a role in Aimee and Zach's life, so anything concerning their welfare is an issue for all of us to address. This isn't a matter determined by blood. Now, what's wrong with Jane?"

"It's not that. This is just very personal, that isn't exactly for public knowledge," Kate said softly, appearing more vulnerable than I'd ever seen her. "Had Jane ever talked to you about our mother?"

The question was sudden, but I found myself thinking back to any conversation I could conjure from my memory and began shaking my head. "No, she never really talked about your mother at all. Just that she passed away when she was fourteen."

Kate drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, folding her hands in her lap. "She committed suicide, Edward. Right after our father left and took us with him. And I'm terrified that the same thing is going to happen to Jane."

I sat up straighter in my seat, my back rigid with tension. "I'm not doing this, Kate. I won't be guilted into putting my kids into harm's way. So if that's why you're here, then you can go home."

"Will you just get over yourself for two seconds? That's not what I was saying," Kate snapped, rolling her eyes. "I'm not blaming you for taking Aimee and Zach away or trying to talk you into changing your mind. I actually agree with you, as hard as that is to admit. I wish our father would have done the same with us a lot sooner than he did. Things might not have been as bad."

My eyes widened in disbelief and I heard an almost imperceptible gasp from Bella. I was momentarily speechless, unable to find the words to respond.

"Like I said, we may not get along as individuals, but you are an amazing father to your children. And I'm glad you removed them from the situation that Jane and I grew up in. But right now, she reminds me so much of my mother, and I don't want to see history repeat itself with my sister." Kate paused, staring down at her lap. "She was mentally ill, but she refused to get treatment for years, even when our father begged her because it was destroying their marriage. She accused him of the most despicable things, they were always fighting. She tried turning us against him, calling him everything you could imagine, and it tore Jane apart. We were always closer to our dad than her, and our mother hated that. And it got worse after he left."

I sat with my eyes closed, rubbing my fingertips slowly back and forth over my forehead. "I'm sorry about that, Kate. But I am failing to see how I am supposed to help Jane."

"Edward," Bella whispered softly, resting her hand on my shoulder while never taking her eyes off Kate. "This all sounds more than vaguely familiar."

I looked between them and then leaned forward on my knees with my fingers pressed to my lips. "Your mother had the same condition."

Kate nodded solemnly and sighed. "Yes. And now, Jane is refusing treatment, too. Even the kids aren't enough incentive for her to see clearly right now, because it's like she has tunnel vision. Only seeing everything that's gone wrong in the last year or so. She has lost her marriage, custody of her kids, and finally, the one thing she felt she still had to hold onto. _She_ was the mother of you children, and that role is going to be shared with someone else."

I watched her eyes lift to settle on the woman beside me, and I caught a glimpse of Bella shifting uncomfortably. "Well, I can't change that, and I can't even say that I would if I could. And if her children aren't enough to convince her to seek help, I don't understand why you would think that there's anything I can do for her. I'm her ex-husband. We're not even on civil terms."

"Look, I'm not asking you to take her back or give up whatever it is you have here," she replied, gesturing her hand between me and Bella. "But do you think you could at least talk to her? Try to get her to see reason?"

"Because that's worked _so_ well in the past, right?" I said sarcastically, standing and starting to pace with my hand lodged in my hair. "She hates me and blames me for everything that's happened to her. Only once did I hear something other than 'I made a mistake' or 'can't we just move on from this'. And even that seemed at least halfway brought about by her attempt to reconcile our marriage. I have no way of knowing if that apology was actually sincere or not. And considering her bitterness toward Bella and myself, accusing _me_ of being unfaithful to _her_—in front of my children, no less—I don't know that she ever really _has_ felt or taken any form of responsibility."

"You weren't entirely perfect yourself, Edward," Kate snapped and then released a frustrated sigh. "I know you're still angry at her for cheating on you, and you do have every right to be. But you might be the only person that she actually _will_ listen to. Despite all that's happened, she does still love you. Please, I don't want to see my niece and nephew lose their mother, and I don't want to lose my sister, either."

"I'm not going to lead her on, into thinking there's a chance for something that there isn't," I replied resolutely with a shake of my head. "But I'll think about at least talking to her, however pointless I think it is. She needs more help than I believe I can give her."

"Thank you. That's all I ask," Kate said, releasing a breath as she stood and made her way to the door. I moved to follow her and she stopped with her hand on the knob, turning her head to look over her shoulder at me. "I guess you're really not that bad after all."

I closed the door behind her and rested my forehead against it, completely conflicted. The new information was splitting me in two separate halves, and I had no idea which side to listen to. Part of me felt that it wasn't my place to intervene. She was a grown woman that needed to make her own decisions. And then there was another part of me that completely disagreed. She may have been a grown woman in the physical sense, but she really didn't seem to have the capability to make rational decisions and care for herself. Then I envisioned having to tell my children that their mother was gone, that they would _never_ see her again. Watching the complete devastation set in that would affect them for the rest of their lives. I didn't know which way I should go, or what good would come of either course of action.

Suddenly, I felt hands settle on my sides, and lips press between my shoulder blades. "Hey, are you okay?"

I lifted my head at the sound of her voice and pulled her arm around my waist, drawing solace from her embrace. "Yeah, it's just a lot to take in, you know? I think I'm just going to head to bed."

"All right. Do you want me to join you?" Bella asked nervously, tightening her hold around me in a comforting gesture.

I slowly turned to look at her and took her face between my hands. "Why would I _not_ want you to join me?"

Bella shrugged and brought her hands to my chest, picking lightly at the fabric of my shirt. "I don't know. Give you time to think?"

I gently lifted her chin and brushed a kiss on her lips, shaking my head. "I wouldn't think any better if you weren't next to me, Bella."

I led her down the hallway to our bedroom with my arm wrapped securely around her shoulders, only letting her go in order for us to get ready for bed. She immediately returned to my embrace with her head settling on my chest once we had laid down, but I found sleep to be the furthest thing from my mind.

When was life ever going to make any sense again? Would it ever? It certainly didn't seem that way. Any time it appeared that things were looking up and coming together, something would crop up that had the potential to flip the lives of everyone important to me completely on end. I didn't want to confuse Aimee and Zach by involving myself in their mother's life more than absolutely necessary. I couldn't even begin to imagine how it would make Bella feel, either. But I also knew that I couldn't look my children in the eyes if something happened to Jane and I hadn't even tried to help her.

I lightly ran my fingers through Bella's hair, listening to her breathing and I could tell she wasn't any closer to sleep than I was. "Bella?"

She snuggled more into my side and her arm hugged securely around my waist. "You're going to see her, aren't you?"

Her question sounded more like a resolved statement and I pressed my lips to her hair. "Would that upset you?"

Bella's face tilted up to look at me and I found tears glistening in her eyes. "As a woman, yes. I know that sounds so petty, but she was your wife, and at one point, you did love her. And it's never easy to hear that another woman is still in love with the man you can't imagine your life without, regardless of who she is. But as a mother, even though our baby isn't here yet, and knowing the man you are, no. I trust you completely and I know you need to do this for your kids. And that's so much more important than my irrational jealousy."

I gently stroked her cheek with my hand, kissing her again and resting my forehead against hers. "You never have to feel jealous, baby. Nothing and no one is ever taking me away from you."

**x-x-x**

The next morning, I woke early and got ready to go to Jane's, gently rousing a still sleeping Bella before leaving. My stomach felt as if it was in my throat once again as I drove, almost afraid of what I might find with Kate's words still running through my mind. Given our history, I half prayed that it was all a ploy concocted between them, as angry as that would make me. At least then, I would know that, while clearly insane, Jane was still otherwise okay.

When I got to the house, I knocked on the door several times with no response before trying the knob, finding it unlocked. Cautiously, I stepped inside and called out for her, searching each room until I came to the bathroom. There Jane sat on the cold tile floor, leaning back against the wall. Her already slender frame appeared nearly emaciated and ashen and her hands shook on her knees … but she was alive.

"Jane, what are you doing?" I spoke as calmly as I could manage, walking across the room to sit on the edge of the tub.

"Why are you here?" she asked in a soft, strained voice, her eyes distant.

"I asked first," I replied, leaning forward expectantly.

"Just waiting for nature to take its course. I can't manage to do it myself, so I'm just letting it happen." Jane's voice was nearly emotionless but her eyes fixed on me. "I've never understood my mother until now. I've lost everything, Edward. There's no point."

"I've got two very good points for you right here," I said somewhat sternly, pulling my wallet out of my pocket and retrieving the picture I had in there of Aimee and Zach. She turned her head away from me so I lowered onto the floor beside her.

"Look at them, Jane! If you're not going to do anything to help yourself for any other reason, you should at least think about them. How do you think they are going to feel when they don't have a mother anymore?" I was yelling by the end of my statement, but at that moment, I didn't care. _Something_ had to get through to her.

"You've already got that covered. You have another woman in my place already, so they don't need me anymore."

"You can stop right there. Bella is not their _mother_, Jane. And she never will be. They love and need _you_. No woman can take the place of that," I replied, holding the picture in front of her and she closed her eyes. "Are you really this selfish? What happened between us has nothing to do with them, so don't punish them for it."

"I'm not. I just don't know how to be a good mother. I try and I fail every time. I couldn't even hold their family together."

"Jane, we're not going through that again. We both know why our family isn't together and it has nothing to do with the kind of mother you are. But removing yourself from their lives permanently is not the way to show them that you love them," I replied, trying to restrain the urge to physically shake her out of it.

"Then what is? Even when I was taking that awful medicine, I still didn't really have my children. Even a daycare provider was more of a mother than I could be," Jane whispered with a single tear spilling from her eye.

"It wasn't going to be forever, and you know that. All you had to do was keep getting help and be the kind of mother I know you can be. That I've _seen_ you be. Don't do this to them," I said, taking her hand and setting the picture in her palm. "I can't make you do anything, Jane. That has to come from you. But if you can't bring yourself to do this for you, I really can't think of any better incentive than this."

I closed her fingers around the picture before standing to leave, pausing at the door when I heard a heavy sob escape her from behind me. I turned to look back and found her staring at the picture with more tears streaming down her face. I felt bad for the pain she was in, despite how much of it she'd brought on herself.

"Zach looks so much like you. And Aimee … she's so beautiful. I can't … I can't …"

I watched as Jane's legs moved weakly toward her chest, crying hysterically into her knees and I found myself doing something I hadn't done in years. I knelt down beside her and wrapped my arms around her.

"I need them, Edward. I need my babies," she said in a choked out sob, leaning into my chest.

I comforted her as best I could, even though I felt uneasy with the way she clung her arms around my waist. "Then you need to go back to the doctor. They need their mom healthy."

"I can't. I'm not strong enough to do this alone."

"You won't be alone. I will help you get better for our children. But _only_ for our children," I replied, attempting to be clear in my intent.

"It's really over, isn't it?" she asked softly against me.

I sighed heavily at her almost childlike question; the same one I'd answered months before. And with it, came the same response. "Yes, Jane, it is. But I do still care enough about you to not want to put you into the ground and leave our children without you."

I reached into my pocket for my phone and dialed 9-1-1, her body too week to even rise from the floor. And for the second time in less than a year, I watched Jane be carried away by ambulance, considering exactly how I was going to explain it to my children. Especially after I'd so certainly assured Zach that his mother wouldn't go back to the hospital again.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to get this out. So many things run through my brain, and usually, never what **_**needs**_** to. And after being silent for a couple of months, this Edward and Bella started talking to me again one day last week. Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

**Playing the Part 12**

Bella and I sat on the couch one night after putting the kids to bed, quietly unwinding from our day. She was settled between my legs with her back to my chest while my hand ran over her slightly more pronounced baby bump. She'd just reached her eighteenth week and was scheduled to go for an ultrasound the following day, but with all that had been going on recently, we still had yet to discuss one thing of importance.

"So, are we going to find out what we're having?" I asked, pressed a kiss to her hair.

Bella's hand came to rest over mine, tracing light circles over my knuckles. "I don't know. Did _you_ want to?"

"Well, I've had it both ways with Aimee and Zach, and it didn't change how I felt when they were born," I answered, watching her fingers slide between mine. "But this is your first baby. I think you should have a little more say."

Bella chuckled and rolled her eyes, but still smiled when she turned her head to look at me. "I think you just want an easy out on the decision making process."

"I would never do a thing like that," I teased her lightly, kissing her as she squeezed my hand.

"I really don't know," Bella said after a moment and her eyes lowered to her stomach again. "The impatient side of me wants to know whether we're having a boy or a girl. But then there's that part of me that wants the surprise with the announcement in the delivery room. I'm not sure which is stronger."

"Well, it makes no difference to me, Bella. I will be happy with either decision you make, and whichever sex of the baby," I whispered, turning her face toward me with my index finger and lowering my lips to hers. Her hand reached back to cup along my jaw and she smiled against me, parting hers to deepen the kiss before I pulled away slowly. My fingers traced along the side of her neck and I felt her touch ghosting over the skin of my cheek as she continued to look up at me. "Have I told you lately how much I absolutely love you?"

"You don't have to keep sucking up, I know it's up to me," Bella teased and I pursed my lips sarcastically, only causing her to laugh harder. When she finally calmed, she kissed me gently again and shook her head. "I know you do. You're very good at showing, even if you don't manage to say it much. I'd rather have the actions over the words any day. Words are easy to say, but difficult to back up with action if you don't mean them. And just in case I haven't shown you lately, I love you, too. So much."

"Can I show you how much I love you tonight?" I hinted, nudging her nose with mine and tilting her head to kiss her deeply, gliding my tongue along hers. I had been aching for her for weeks, with the discomfort of her changing body so frequent in her back and hips that she was rarely in the mood. She had pleasured me with her hand on many occasions, and while that felt amazing, it wasn't quite the same as making love to her.

"That is a definite possibility," she replied with a wicked grin, her hand sliding into my hair and pulling my lips against hers again. I moaned as our fingers wove together where they still rested on her stomach and she shifted a little between my legs, brushing her hip against my growing erection. "I think that's just been upgraded to an eventuality."

I laughed and leaned toward her, taking her top lip between mine as my hand ran down along her side. God, how I'd missed her.

"Daddy?" Aimee's voice caught my attention from behind me and both Bella and I froze, looking over my shoulder to find my daughter standing there in the doorway.

I knew from her nervous stance and the cautious way that she spoke that she had something on her mind, and I tried to think of anything possible to calm my body and shift back into dad-mode. "What is it, sweetheart?"

Aimee slowly walked into the room to stand beside the couch and lowered her eyes with a sigh when Bella released my hand and shifted to move from between my legs. "You don't have to move apart every time I come into the room. You guys are together, I get it."

I turned my body to sit facing my daughter, with Bella settled at my side, and took Aimee's tiny hands in mine. "Aimee, what's wrong? Did you have a nightmare or something?"

She shook her head but still wouldn't look at either of us, and instead, sat on my leg and pressed her face to my chest. "I was just wondering something."

"You know you can ask me anything, baby," I replied, kissing the top of her head.

"Well, it's not just you. It's Bella, too," Aimee said softly and finally looked up, but to Bella. Her statement took us both by surprise, however, Bella relaxed quickly and nodded, urging Aimee to continue. "I was kinda wondering … you know … since it's school vacation … if I could maybe go with you and Dad tomorrow to the doctor's instead of going to Grandpa's house?"

I felt my eyebrows rise quickly with her question and I glanced over to Bella to see a similar look on her face. Our eyes met briefly before she looked back to my daughter, and somehow, it suddenly felt like I was intruding on a very personal moment between them.

"You want to go with us?" Bella asked in a voice far calmer than I would have been able to muster in that moment.

For the first time in a while, I watched Aimee blush with her small shrug and I instinctively tightened my arm around her as she nuzzled her body into me. "It's okay if you don't want me to. I know I haven't been too nice to you a lot. I'd just really like to see my little brother or sister."

Bella smiled gently at Aimee and moved closer to my side, holding her hand out to my little girl, which she slowly took. "That's all in the past, Aimee. And I would love to have you there. Maybe you could help your dad and I make up our minds. Would _you_ like to find out tomorrow if it's a boy or a girl?"

I watched as Aimee looked cautiously between us, like it was a trick question or something. I loved that Bella was still trying to find ways to include Aimee in things like that, but my daughter was still somewhat reluctant to open up so freely. I smiled, hugging her against my chest. "There's no wrong answer, honey. Do you want to know if you're having a brother or a sister in a few months?"

Aimee bit the inside of her cheek and slowly nodded. "That was the other thing I was wondering about. I think it would be an awesome Christmas present, and I heard you guys talking about it, so …"

Her eyes lowered again and I was suddenly very grateful that the remainder of my conversation with Bella was as cryptic as it was. And from the uneasiness I felt in the shift of her body against my side, I was sure she was thinking the exact same thing. "Okay, if we can find out tomorrow, we will."

"The doctors should know, right?" Aimee asked, her eyes finally lifting to look at me.

"Sometimes, baby. But when your mother and I were trying to find out with Zach, he would hide every single time. We'd see him waving and sucking his thumb, and even got a butt shot or two, but we didn't know he was a boy until about two months before he was born. He just happened to finally roll over that time," I replied, smiling at the memory of my son putting himself on full display for the ultrasound, leaving us with no doubt to his gender.

"Leave it to Zach," Bella murmured softly and I suddenly realized the discomfort that conversation might have caused her. I tried to mention Jane as little as possible in her presence—and my children's as well, of late—despite my thoughts swaying to her on occasion. She was still being hospitalized for treatment of her condition and the severe malnourishment she'd caused herself, and only spoke to the children on the phone once a week. Yet, even with her being under doctors' care, I still worried—she _was_ still the mother of my children; that would never change. When I looked at Bella, however, I was stunned to see her smiling genuinely and she brushed her lips on my cheek. "Don't worry about it. It's okay."

"I hope it's another brother," Aimee said, drawing our attention back to her and finding her eyes closed as she snuggled into my chest. "I like being Daddy's girl."

I pressed my lips to the top of her head again and lightly stroked her hair with my hand. "You'll always be my little girl, no matter what, baby."

I sat there with my arms around both of them and their weights began to deaden against me as they each began to fall asleep. When a soft snore escaped Aimee, I rubbed my hand along Bella's arm to gently wake her and she looked up at me questioningly through hazy eyes.

"I'm just going to put Aimee to bed," I whispered and Bella nodded, rising slowly from the couch.

"Sorry I fell asleep. I'll be in the room," she replied just as quietly, leaning over to brush my lips gently before heading down the hall to our bedroom.

I lifted my daughter into my arms and carried her up the stairs to her room. As I carefully set her into her bed, she whimpered softly in her sleep and curled onto her side, hugging her stuffed pony to her chest. She looked so sweet and calm in that moment; no worry lines on her forehead and her lips completely relaxed from the tension they usually held lately, even pouting a little. "I love you, baby girl."

After kissing her forehead, I rose to leave the room and I heard her mumble "love you more", still appearing to be sound asleep. I couldn't hide the smile and the swelling of my heart in that moment, and I felt the urge to return to her and wrap my arms around her. I wanted to hold on to every precious moment I had with her before she grew up right before my eyes, cherish the time that she was still my little girl and I was still one of the most important aspects of her life. But right then, she needed her sleep more than anything else.

I returned downstairs and made my way to my own room, finding Bella already in bed and fading off to sleep again. I quietly walked to the bed, undressing as I went and crawling in behind her in just my boxers. Holding her in my arms and lightly kissing her neck at the feel of the smooth satin of the nightgown she'd changed into against my chest, the man in me began to reemerge. My hand ran down her side and over her hip, slipping between her thighs before she reached down to stop me.

"Honey, the children," she mumbled, circling my wrist with her fingers and lifting it to her chest, hugging it to her body.

"They're both asleep, baby," I whispered, kissing just below her ear and shifting my hips to press more firmly against her.

"That's what we thought earlier. And if Aimee could hear our quiet conversation…"

"Bella, her room is also right over the living room. And I can be very, very quiet, as you know," I said suggestively, nipping lightly at her earlobe.

"I'm not sure that I can," she whispered huskily, her fingers reaching back to find my hair again. Her back arched slightly and her ass glided along my returning erection, her breast pressing into my palm. "It's been so long, Edward. And I want to, but I don't think we _should_. Maybe tomorrow? We'll still be dropping the kids off with your father after the appointment so we can finish up our Christmas shopping, and will still have a little 'us' time before we pick them up."

I sighed, pressing one more kiss to her neck. "Okay, baby. I can wait."

Bella looked over her shoulder at me as I rolled onto my back, closing my eyes to will away the now painful arousal I was contending with. I knew she was right, that Aimee had only _just_ fallen asleep, and I admonished myself for thinking with my dick and not with my head, but shit, no one's perfect. I _was_ a man, after all, with a beautiful girlfriend I loved and desired, as well as a very healthy sexual appetite. I felt her fingers trace along my jaw and turn my face toward her, and I opened my eyes to look at her. "Please don't be upset with me. Tomorrow, I promise."

I took her hand in mine and lightly kissed her knuckles, and then rested it on my chest. "I'm not upset, baby."

"Liar," she said with a slight smile and I chuckled softly.

"All right, horny as hell, maybe. But not upset at _you_, or Aimee. Better?" I asked, kissing her gently.

"Yes. Honesty is always best," Bella replied, turning over and snuggling against my side. "Did you want me to…?"

I answered with a shake of my head before she could finish and halted her hand's movement down my abdomen. "No, it's okay, baby. We should probably just get some sleep. Busy day tomorrow."

"Okay," she replied softly with a hint of sadness in her voice and I looked to her again to meet her eyes with mine. "I love you."

I stroked her cheek gently and kissed her, lingering my lips on hers for a moment before parting and hugging her against my chest. "I love you, too, Bella."

**o~O~o**

"Baby! Baby! Get to see baby!" Zach chanted from the back seat, bouncing in his booster and causing me and Bella to chuckle.

"Dad, Bella, are you _sure_ it's such a good idea to bring Zachy with us? It's like he's on a sugar high or something. What if he knocks something over?" Aimee asked with a sigh, meeting my eyes in the rearview mirror.

"Aimee, it's only fair that if you get to see your little brother or sister that Zach does, too," I replied and she huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, sissy!" Zach retorted, blowing a raspberry at her.

"Shut _up_, Zachy," Aimee snapped.

"Enough. Right now," I said sternly, looking back to the two of them gazing back at me with wide eyes when we came to a stop at the light. "Don't make me turn this car around. It's not too late to take you over to Grandpa's, you know."

"I'll be good, Dad. I promise," Aimee said softly, folding her hands in her lap like a little lady.

"Me, too, Daddy," Zach added with an innocent smile.

A horn blared from behind us when the light turned green and I growled in frustration. "All right, I'm going. Give me two goddamn seconds!"

"Daddy said bad words," Zach remarked from the back seat.

I felt Bella's hand take mine on the console and squeeze it gently. "It was only one bad word, Zach. And Daddy just needs to relax a little bit."

I could hear the subtle sternness in Bella's voice as she spoke and I took a deep breath, keeping my eyes on the road. "Sorry, you guys. I just have a lot on my mind."

Bella's hand continued to caress the back of mine as we pulled in front of the small doctor's office, and I took a deep breath. Inside those doors, we would see our baby, and with any luck, find out if we were going to be parents to a son or daughter, if my children would have a brother or sister. I was excited and nervous all at once. "Okay, are we ready?"

A chorus of "ready" responses filled the car and I stepped out to lift Zach out of the back seat. With him settled on my hip, I took Bella's hand and Aimee held her other, and we walked inside.

While Bella was checking in, my eyes gazed around the room, the walls covered in pictures of tiny babies and pregnant women, while the television played some program on prenatal nutrition. My leg began to bounce, jostling Zach on my knee and he looked up at me. "Daddy? You scared?"

"No, buddy. I'm not scared," I replied, kissing his forehead.

"Will they hurt Bella?" Aimee asked from beside me, hugging my arm.

"It doesn't hurt, Aimee. I promise you," Bella interjected as she returned and sat on the other side of Aimee.

I watched as Aimee nodded, but then remained otherwise silent. Her concern for Bella still surprised me at times, as did the snippets of conversation I'd caught between the two in recent weeks. But things were continuing to get better and I prayed they remained to do so.

"Bella, we're ready for you," the nurse called from the doorway, interrupting my thoughts, and smiled as we all followed her in. "We have a full house today, I see."

Aimee moved closer to my side and Zach nuzzled his head into my shoulder, and I looked up to nod at the nurse. "They wanted to see the baby."

"You guys are in for an awesome show," the nurse replied with a friendly smile and I felt my children begin to relax. She gave me one last look before she turned her attention back to Bella. "And how is the mommy feeling today."

"A little sore and _really_ have to pee," Bella answered with a small chuckle. "This baby doesn't seem to want to leave my pelvis."

The nurse asked her a few more general questions about Bella's appetite and the activity of the baby while she took her blood pressure and weight. Aimee's eyes widened when Bella stated that there hadn't been as much movement lately.

"Is the baby okay?" she asked in a soft, trembling voice.

"I'm sure everything is fine. Probably just very comfortable in there," the nurse replied reassuringly as we walked into the dimly lit room, and both of my children gazed at the machine beside the table where Bella would lie. "Just make yourself comfortable and Zach will be in shortly."

"Hey, I'm Zach!" my son protested with a pout.

We all laughed in response and the nurse smiled back at him. "Well, it _is_ a great name, and you are much cuter. Must get that from your daddy."

Zach blushed and rested his head back on my shoulder as the nurse left the room. Once Bella had settled down on the table, I looked to Aimee, who was biting her lip as she looked at the chairs. "Where would you like to sit, princess?"

"Can I sit there next to Bella?" she asked quietly, pointing to the seat closest to Bella's head.

"Of course," Bella replied and my daughter sat down slowly, taking a deep breath.

The technician walked in and I took hold of Bella's hand. He was young, maybe in his mid-twenties, and although I knew it was ridiculous, I felt a swell of jealousy at the way my girlfriend smiled at him.

"Hello, Bella. It's nice to see you again. And who do we have here?" he asked, glancing toward myself and my children.

"This is my boyfriend, Edward, and his children, Aimee and—"

"I'm Zach!" my son exclaimed with a proud smile.

"Awesome name, little guy," the man said with a grin, and then reached out his hand to first shake mine and then Aimee's. "And a pretty name for a pretty girl."

_Watch it, pal. That's my little girl._ The inner overprotective father inside me growled, an as if Bella could read my mind, she rolled her eyes.

"Are we ready to get the show on the road?" he asked, settling down on the stool on the other side of Bella.

"Keep calling it a show and I'm going to start charging admission," Bella mumbled under her breath, causing us all to chuckle, but then returned to look at the technician again with a smile. "Yes, please. Before I explode."

"Bewwa's gonna 'slpode?" Zach asked with wide eyes.

"No, she just drank a lot of water and had to go to the bathroom all the way here, remember, Zachy?" Aimee said, but still nervously looked between Bella's stomach and the technician.

"Then go potty," Zach added, gazing at Bella and furrowing his little brow.

"I will as soon as we're done," Bella replied, trying not to laugh as she lifted her shirt to uncover her belly. She jumped a little when the gel hit her skin, and looked over to the kids when they both gasped. "It's just a little cold."

Both children sighed in relief, only to perk up again when the rhythmic swishing sound filled the room.

"Whoa, wha's that?" Zach asked in wonder.

"That is your little brother's or sister's heartbeat. See right there?" the technician said, pointing to the screen at the small, fluttering blur, and then began moving his finger. "And there's a leg and an arm, the head. Everything looks perfect and right on target."

Aimee squinted her eyes to see everything the technician was pointing to, and I was surprised when she sniffled and a tear fell down her cheek.

"Baby? Are you okay?" I asked in concern, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

Aimee nodded and wiped the trail away with a swipe of her fingertips. "The baby's okay. But it's so tiny, I can't see."

"We can look again later at home," Bella said calmly, reaching out to gently stroke Aimee's hair and my little girl only nodded, watching the wand move over the swell of Bella's stomach.

"So the baby is _really_ okay?" Aimee asked, gazing up to the technician.

"Better than okay. Perfectly healthy," he said with a smile. "Did we want to know the gender?"

"Can you see that?" I asked, looking more intently at the screen. I certainly couldn't tell, even with the multiple ultrasounds I'd sat in on with my first two.

"I can. The baby is in one of the best positions I have ever seen. It's up to you," he replied, glancing between me and Bella.

"Yes, we want to know," Bella said softly, holding her breath in preparation.

"Okay, it looks like we have a—"

"Wait!" Aimee exclaimed, taking us all by surprise. She stood up beside Bella and leaned over to whisper something in her ear, and then pulled back to look at her questioningly.

"I think that's an excellent idea, Aimee," Bella replied with a smile and my daughter visibly relaxed, returning one of her own. "Can you put it in an envelope so we can all open it on Christmas morning?"

The technician chuckled and nodded, printing up the screenshot and tucking it into one of the supplied envelopes.

"Hey! You said we'd find out!" Zach interjected in displeasure.

"The girls are plotting against us, buddy," I said with a small laugh and they both looked at us with conspiratorial smiles.

"No fair," Zach pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.

"It's only for a few days, guys," Bella said gently and then glanced to Aimee.

"And then Grandpa can find out with us," Aimee added with a shrug, lowering her eyes.

"That's a _very_ good idea, baby. How'd you get so smart?" I said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head.

"I got it from my dad."

**o~O~o**

The entire drive to my father's house was filled with excited chatter from the back seat, but my mind was off somewhere else. I'd just seen my baby, growing and healthy inside Bella, and while I was a little disappointed that I did not know the sex yet, it was an amazing sight to see my girls sharing that little moment together.

Yet, despite my efforts, I couldn't quite dispel the gnawing in the pit of my stomach caused by, in my opinion, the excessive friendliness of that technician with my girlfriend. There was good bedside manner, and then there was flirting, and he was on the verge of crossing that line.

When we got to my father's house, he casually asked how everything went, and Zach no-so-subtly voiced his discontent once again at not knowing if he was having a brother or sister. My father momentarily placated him with the promise of cookies and Bella and I returned to the car.

"So, where to first?" I asked as I started the car and pulled the seatbelt around me, looking over my shoulder to back out of the driveway.

"Home," she replied firmly and my gaze shot over to her quickly.

"Are you okay? Should we put the shopping off?" I inquired worriedly, reaching for her hand.

"No, I'm fine. I just need to take care of something," she answered cryptically with her gaze turned to the window, doing nothing to quell my concern.

I didn't argue and simply drove home, stiffening at her sharp instruction to come into the house with her once we'd pulled into the driveway.

She sounded _pissed_, and I couldn't figure out what I'd done to make her angry. The minute we were inside the door, she closed it behind us and turned to face me.

"Edward, you know I love you, right?" Bella asked, gazing at me resolutely.

"Um, yes," I answered in confusion.

"We're having this baby together, and I couldn't be happier about that," she continued and I nodded, still unsure as to where she was going. "You've been tense and snippy all morning, and now, you _really_ think a guy like _that_ would actually turn my head for even a second?"

_Shit_, I internally muttered, driving my hand into my hair.

Bella stepped toward me and grabbed the front of my jacket, startling me slightly. Her hands rose to take my face between them and waited for me to look at her, then pulled me into a heated kiss. "I have _everything_ I could ever want or need right here. And before we walk out that door again, I'm going to show you just how much I do."

It took me a moment to respond, still shaken by her sudden movement, but eventually returned it with fervor until she pulled away and continued, "We need to relieve some of that tension you've got going on there."

Before I could reply, she pressed me to the door and lowered onto her knees in front of me, unfastening my belt. She pushed my hands aside as I moved to stop her, deftly working the button and zipper of my jeans and lowering them with my boxers to my knees. She immediately took me into her mouth and my palms flattened against the door "Bella, you don't have to … oh shit!"

My breath froze in my throat as she quickly roused me to full erection. Her warm lips massaged along my entire length, circling her tongue around the tip with each ascent.

"Fuck, Bella. You need to stop, baby. I'm gonna come," I panted, weaving my fingers into her hair.

She released me from her mouth and continued to stroke me with her hand, looking up at me with lust-filled eyes. "I want you to. I'm going to make you come and get you hard again. And then, you're going to take me into the bedroom and fuck me from behind."

I groaned at the sultry sound of her voice and gasped when she returned her mouth to me. It had been so long since I'd felt her like that, and her words did nothing to calm me. "Baby, I can't. I can't fu-u-u-u—"

I couldn't finish my statement as my orgasm hit hard and fast, my hips jerking against her with my release. Even as I stilled, she didn't relent and I never even had the chance to soften. Once I was fully aroused again, she pulled back and looked up at me. "You can and you will. You won't hurt the baby or me, I promise."

I helped her to stand and kicked my shoes and pants off so I could walk as she began leading me to the bedroom. She didn't even bother closing the door and began to strip, and I watched in awe as her beautiful body was quickly exposed to me. However, she wasted no time crawling onto the bed on her hands and knees, looking over her shoulder at me expectantly. I stripped off my shirt and climbed up behind her, running my fingers along her slickened skin and groaning. "Oh, God, Bella."

"I want you _now_, Edward," she practically growled, arching her back more to tilt her hips toward me.

I positioned myself at her entrance and slowly slid inside her, and she threw her head back. I started with a slow pace, my hands moving her hips in rhythm with mine. God, I'd almost forgotten just how amazing she felt.

"Edward, please. I need more," Bella whimpered, her face lowering to the pillow and angling her hips more, sending a cascade of sensation flooding through me. Her hand came back to cover mine on her hip and wove our fingers together, then looked over her shoulder to gauge my expression. "I will let you know the second I am the least bit uncomfortable."

I _did_ want her—heaven help me, I did. After just getting back into the routine of having sex regularly again, and then abruptly denied for weeks, sexual frustration was definitely high, and it seemed I was not alone in that. But I still didn't want to risk her or the baby. "You promise?"

"Yes," she whispered and then gave a deep moan as I filled her again slowly. "I promise, baby. Please."

I leaned forward to cover her body with mine and brushed a kiss on her shoulder before rising again, securing my hold on her hips and keeping her still as I resumed my movements. Her breathing turned to pants, exhaling harshly with each of my forward thrusts and her hand tightened on mine when I felt her begin to clench around me. She started fighting against my hold on her hips and I took that as a cue to deepen my motions within her.

"Yes, just like that. Oh … _God_, Edward," Bella exclaimed sharply as her body began to tremble. She moaned deeply as I felt her reach her peak and a shudder ran through me as well. If it wasn't for our preamble at the front door, I was certain that I would have joined her right then, but I was still surprisingly close.

_It's been so long,_ I thought to myself, or at least I believed I had. Her smile over her shoulder at that moment told me otherwise.

"Let me feel you, baby," she said gently in such a tranquil voice, it took me by surprise.

I watched as she rose onto her elbows and I paused to allow her to get comfortable. With her whisper of "don't stop", I resumed and my abdomen began to coil again. I couldn't restrain the deep groan that escaped me as I released inside her, my grasp tightening on her hips until my body was spent and I collapsed beside her on the bed.

Bella turned over slowly to lie down next to me and when I looked to her, I found hand running slowly over her stomach and giving a little wince.

My concern rose and I rolled onto my side toward her, propping myself up on my elbow and bringing my own hand to cover hers there. "Baby, what's wrong? Does it hurt?"

Her eyes shifted to meet mine and she shook her head with a smile. "Just a little cramp, but I really needed that. My hormones have been in seriously high gear lately, which has been driving me crazy. Plus, the baby just started moving, too."

I glanced down to watch her fingers slide from beneath mine and lie over them, sliding my palm over to where I felt a small flutter beneath her skin. I rested my head down beside hers and kissed her temple, enjoying the simple pleasure of the moment we were sharing, feeling the tiny movements of our baby. "I'm sorry I got so jealous."

"Me, too," Bella whispered and I opened my eyes to gaze at the meek smile on her lips and she turned her head to look at me. "You think you're the only one prone to such a thing? You're not exactly an unattractive man, and definitely not turning into a beached whale."

"Bella, you're beautiful. Nothing even _resembling_ a whale of any kind," I replied and lowered my head to her stomach, pressing my lips against her swollen abdomen and settling my face on her bare chest. "But why would you be jealous?"

Bella laughed, running the fingers of her free hand through my hair. "You're awfully observant when it comes to other men with me, but as far as yourself, you're completely oblivious. Your awareness skills really need some work."

"What do you mean?" I asked, feeling my brow furrow but my eyes remained on our joined hands on her stomach.

"First of all, Zach is happily married and his wife is also expecting their second baby," she replied gently and I lifted my head to look at her. "The nurse, on the other hand, is about as single as they come. And an attractive man with children, especially one as attentive as you are with Aimee and Zach, is enough to make _any_ woman's ovaries ache."

I raised my eyebrow at her and shook my head. "How do you know all this?"

"I listen. And I'm a woman, Edward," she answered, tracing her fingertips along my cheek. "If I hadn't been so completely and utterly in love with you already before I saw you with your children, you would have had even _more_ trouble getting rid of me. And that nurse was seriously flirting with you. 'Must get that from your daddy'? It was _so_ obvious."

"I didn't notice," I said softly and felt her hand cup along my jaw, drawing my closer to kiss her.

"And I wouldn't have cared to, either, even if Zach _had_ been flirting with me," Bella whispered, her eyes holding mine. "I mean it. _Everything_ I want and need in a man is right here with me in this bed. I love you so much."

"I love you, too," I replied, sliding my arm around her and snuggling against her side, closing my eyes.

"Honey, we still need to go shopping," Bella said with a giggle as I nuzzled my nose against her neck.

"Ten minutes and then we'll go," I whispered, but it became an hour as we both fell asleep.

**o~O~o**

"Daddy! Bewwa! Chrismas!" Zach exclaimed as he bolted into our room on Christmas morning, jumping on the bed and crawling in between us. "Get up! Get up! Santa came!"

"I knew we should have locked the door," I mumbled teasingly in a drowsy voice, restraining a smirk as Zach whined, and I envisioned his face since I still hadn't opened my eyes. I had learned years before that there was no such thing as sleeping in on Christmas morning with children.

Zach's tiny hands clasped my face and shook me gently, and I could hear Bella chuckle from the other side of him. "_Daddy_! It's present time!"

"I'll go make your coffee while you wrangle the brood. Merry Christmas, Zach," Bella said, kissing the top of his head and brushing her lips gently on my cheek. "Wake up. Your father will be here in an hour."

I rolled onto my side, pressing my face into the pillow and Zach began shaking my shoulder. "All right, little man. I'm getting up."

"Yay! Mimi, Daddy's awake!" Zach announced as he followed Bella out of the room.

"I'm too old for this," I mumbled as I stood from the bed, stretching out my stiff back and walking out to the living room.

"Merry Christmas, Daddy," Aimee said as I sat down on the couch beside her and leaned over to give me a morning kiss.

"Merry Christmas, baby," I replied with a smile and then looked over to the trees to find Zach already starting to move the wrapped boxes around. "Zach, we have to wait for Grandpa."

"But that takes _forever_," Zach answered with another whine and folded his arms over his chest.

"You guys can have your stockings now," I relented and both of my children ran across the room to retrieve each of theirs.

"Candy!" Zach cheered as he unceremoniously dumped the contents of his stocking on the floor and ran over to me with a packet of M & M's. "Daddy open!"

"Not before breakfast," I replied, taking him into my arms and standing from the couch. "You want some cereal?"

"Yes, pease," he said and I looked at him with a crooked eyebrow. "Puh-lease."

"Good job," I congratulated him with a kiss to the forehead, as we had been slowly working with him on his struggling use of his 'l's' still. I set him down and watched as he raced toward the kitchen, pausing for a moment by the tree and fingering the envelope resting on its branches. Beyond that seal was the one gift I was looking forward to more than any other; the revelation of the gender of our baby.

"You've gotta wait, too, Dad," Aimee said from beside me with that same quirk of a smile she and Bella had shared the day of the ultrasound.

"I know, princess," I replied, running my hand over her tangled hair and allowing her to guide me into the kitchen.

When my father arrived a short time later with a bag of gifts and a fake white beard on his face, the kids laughed at his "Ho, ho, ho" and ran to him, smothering their grandfather with hugs and kisses.

"Grampa's Santa, Daddy?" Zach asked with a sudden, confused look on his face as he gazed at me.

"No, he's just pretending, buddy," I comforted him, enjoying the pure innocence of my children at Christmas for as long as I possibly could. "Grandpa is being Santa's helper today."

We moved into the living room and I settled onto the couch beside Bella, and with her head resting on my shoulder, we watched my father begin to hand out the presents. However, my eyes kept moving back to that envelope. I never thought I'd be so anxious, as it really hadn't matter to me before. Boy or girl, I would have been ecstatic the day our child was born, but having the answer within my reach and constantly right in front of me, yet hidden from my view at the same time, filled me with gnawing anticipation.

Most of the gifts were for the kids, though I had gotten an engraved watch for my father, and I received a custom Mariner's jersey with "Cullen 1" sewn onto the back from Bella and my children. I had been at a loss as to what to buy my girlfriend for Christmas, and after that, I felt lame as I watched her open her present and pull out a shirt with "World's Most Beautiful Mama" printed on the front. She smiled brightly and excused herself from the room, returning a couple of minutes later, wearing it.

"Thank you. I love it, and it's _so_ comfortable," she murmured softly, brushing my lips with hers as she sat down beside me.

From the middle of the shredded paper and scattered toys in the middle of the room, Zach jumped up and rushed toward the tree. "Baby time! Baby time! I can't reach!"

My father chuckled and rose from the floor, lifting Zach onto his hip so he could take it from the branches and then set him back down. "Now, go give that to your dad and Bella."

Zach jumped onto my lap, causing me to grunt, and held the envelope out to us. "Open, open."

Bella laughed softly as she grasped it between her fingers, tracing the edge lightly before breaking the seal and holding her breath. Her smile grew as her eyes ran over the image and then brought them to Zach. "Do you want to tell everyone?"

Zach nodded and looked to the slip of paper, his lips pursing in concentration to remember his letters and spelled it out slowly. "B-o-y. That says boy! Like me!"

"I'm getting another brother?" Aimee whispered and I looked at her, where she was kneeling between my knee and Bella's. Tears filled her eyes, but her smile was bright as she moved to squeeze in between me and Bella on the couch to look at the picture.

My father's proud grin was also unmistakable as he sat in the chair on the other side of us. "Another grandson."

I looked at Bella to find her staring at the picture and running her hand over her stomach. Had she been wanting a girl? Her eyes met mine and she smiled, shaking her head as she seemingly read my mind.

"I was hoping for a boy," she said in a whisper and leaned over to kiss me above Aimee's head, mouthing "I love you" as she pulled away.

I returned the silent gesture, adding a wink and a smile, and we all continued to reflect in quiet reverie.

**o~O~o**

After a late evening phone call from Jane to wish the children a Merry Christmas, we finally got them settled down for the night, with Zach insisting on having all his trucks in his new "big boy bed" we'd exchanged with his toddler bed that afternoon.

Bella climbed in beside me as I lay staring at the ceiling, deep in thought, until I felt her hand rest on my chest. "Did _you_ want a girl?"

I slid my arm around her shoulders and kissed her forehead, shaking my head as I looked back down to her. "I didn't want to say anything in front of the kids, since I would never want them to think that I love either of them more than the other. But I was also hoping for a boy. I would have been thrilled either way…"

"But Aimee is your little girl," Bella finished for me and I closed my eyes, feeling like the worst father in the world. "Edward, it's not the same thing as having a preference between your children. Everyone knows how much you love Zach. You're not the only father in the world to have a special bond between himself and his daughter, and wants to hold onto it. There's no fault in that."

I brought my gaze back to Bella, tracing her cheek with my fingertips. "You are so much more than I ever deserved, Bella. I really do love you."

"I will argue that point later when I'm not so tired," Bella replied, raising her lips to mine and kissing me gently. "But for now, I'll just say I love you, too."


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Aside from summertime kicking my ass once again, this chapter joined in with it, and has been since April. Writer's block is a bitch, but what's worse is when you write something out, and something is really really off, and for the life of you, you just can't figure out what the hell it is. And that is what happened with this chapter. Thankfully, ericastwilight has kicked my ass enough in the last few weeks that I've started getting my act together, and actually getting some words down whenever my health will allow it. Thank you all for sticking with me and hope you enjoy.**

* * *

**Playing the Part 13**

"Daddy! Daddy! We done!" Zach exclaimed one morning and ran into our room, jumping up on the bed and shaking me excitedly.

I opened my eyes to look at my son and spotted Bella standing in the doorway with Aimee. "Is this a group effort to get me out of bed this morning?"

"Yup," Aimee replied unabashedly with a grin, folding her arms over her chest in a triumphant pose. "Well, that and we really _did_ just finish upstairs. You _have_ to come see."

"All right, give your old man a minute and I'll be right up," I groaned with a stretch. It had been a very long night of rehearsals the night before, but I couldn't say no to the excited looks on my children's faces.

"You not old, Dad," Zach growled in an adorable way, pounding his fists into the mattress before scurrying off. "Come on!"

Bella hid her laugh behind the back of her hand as Zach raced by her and down the hall. She'd always found his quickly shifting moods amusing and insisted that it was something he learned well from his father, and she hoped for the same temperament in our son as well. Naturally, I disputed that at every opportunity. Her eyes returned to me as I rose from the bed and made my way over to her while the children's footsteps thundered up the stairs, stopping me from passing with her hand on my chest. "Good morning, old man."

"You're very funny," I replied with a chuckle and pressed my lips to hers. My hand rose to rest on her now very rounded stomach, while my other covered hers on the front of my shirt. I smiled as I felt the stones of the ring I'd given her the week before pressing into the skin of my palm. We'd talked about marriage on and off for a few months, and while I'd admit that I _was_ a little gun-shy at the thought of getting married again, my lack of faith was not in Bella. And she didn't want to go through with it just because she was having our baby or the fact that her father really didn't like me much since I'd gotten his daughter pregnant, but hadn't made an honest woman of her yet. We needed to do it for our own reasons—that we loved each other and _wanted_ to get married—and for the moment, we were happy with the promise that the ring portrayed. "Good morning, beautiful."

Bella giggled as I pressed up against her side and then nuzzled my face into her neck. "No matter how hard you try, you're never going to get your arms all the way around me right now. So you should just go see what your children have been up to while I waddle to the kitchen."

I stepped behind her, wrapping my arms around her middle, and though barely, my fingertips touched and I kissed her cheek. "I beg to differ. And you still feel so damn good in them, too."

Bella rolled her eyes as I brushed a kiss on her neck, but her smile was unmistakable when my lips finally met hers and she reached her hand back to cup my face. "You would _so_ be getting lucky if the doctor didn't ban me from all bedroom activity."

I gently pressed my lips to her forehead and ran my hands over her stomach. "He's more important, baby."

In her thirty-second week, we'd had to make a mad dash to the emergency room when she began feeling contractions. I tried not to worry, remembering that Jane had experienced Braxton Hicks during both of her pregnancies. So I convinced myself, and attempted to with Bella, that it was just that. She, on the other hand, was panicking, sure that something was very wrong. Upon examination, it was found that she was, in fact, dilating and in preterm labor.

Fortunately, they were able to stop it and put stitches in her cervix, but kept her overnight for observation. The kids were nearly impossible to settle down that night after I picked them up from my father's house, without Bella. They were both so upset, asking me repeatedly if I was sure that she and the baby were really okay, even making me call the hospital room to hear it from her as well. Yet, nothing soothed them enough to get them to sleep for long.

It wasn't until the following afternoon, when I was allowed to bring her home from the hospital, that the children really calmed. Aimee and Zach ran for Bella the instant we walked in the door, wrapping their arms around her and then touching her baby bump as if to make sure their little brother was still in there. They each released a breath of relief when the baby kicked beneath where their hands were resting and then nestled against either side of Bella.

Their overprotectiveness did not cease, however. Zach would constantly tell Bella to sit down and rest, while Aimee was doing everything she could to help her around the house, even learning how to cook simple things to give her a break over the four weeks since that night.

"Dad!" the children's voices echoed in unison from upstairs and broke me from my thoughts, and I chuckled against Bella's skin.

"Guess I better go up, huh?"

"Yeah, I'll start your coffee," she whispered and I gazed at her, shaking my head and causing her to huff slightly. "Edward, making a pot of coffee is not 'exerting myself'."

Her moods had been shifting so quickly and I knew she was going stir crazy, already having to start her maternity leave from work at the coffee shop, which didn't help. There'd been several nights I'd needed to hold her as she cried, telling me how useless she felt with all of her restrictions. Thankfully, those times had been slowly dwindling in frequency as our baby's birth drew closer.

I headed up the stairs, finding my kids standing outside Zach's bedroom, practically vibrating with excitement. I stood behind them in the doorway and gazed inside, my eyes widening.

The baby's crib was set up on one side of the room, made up in the blue and white bedding they'd chosen for it when we went baby shopping the week before. A soft, tinkling lullaby sang through the room from the mobile overhead, with multi-colored pastel bears circling slowly. The changing table stood beside it, stocked full of diapers, receiving blankets and tiny clothes, and a wipe dispenser attached to the wall above it. The rocker we'd had delivered the day before sat in the far corner with the new cushions in place and the ottoman set in front of it. Everything was perfect and ready—all it needed was our baby.

"This is awesome, you guys," I said, doing nothing to mask the awe in my voice. "You did a great job."

"I made up the crib," Aimee replied proudly, smiling as she laced her arm through mine. "And I folded the clothes and blankets for Bella."

"Hey! I helped!" Zach interjected with his hands on his hips, and then tugged on my pant leg. "Daddy, look!"

I watched as he ran into the room toward the crib, sliding his arm between the rails and pointing to a teddy bear sitting in the corner. Walking across the room, I crouched down beside him and wrapped my arm around his middle. "You're giving your little brother Mr. Snuggles?"

Zach nodded excitedly, smiling as he gazed at his favorite toy since he was a baby himself. "Is a present, Dad. Thassa baby toy. I a big boy."

"Yes, you are. And that was very nice of you, buddy," I said, kissing his hair and then turning my head to Aimee. I waved her over and wrapped my other arm around her, pressing my lips to her cheek and hugging them both against me—I really had two, extremely amazing kids. "I'm very proud of both of you."

"You really like it, Dad?" Aimee asked nervously, her big blue eyes gazing at me. "Bella helped a little, but only for the stuff we couldn't reach. I promise, she sat down for _everything _else."

I smiled, full of pride, brushing her hair back from her face and kissing her temple. "I _love_ it, baby. And thank you for taking care of Bella."

"How long 'til baby comes?" Zach inquired, tapping my shoulder with his fingertips, obviously vying for my attention.

"Not too much longer. Maybe a few weeks," I answered, standing up and lifting him into my arms. "But we're ready, right?"

"Yup!" Zach chimed excitedly with a nod. "Makin' babies takes _forever_."

I laughed and took Aimee's hand as well, and began walking back downstairs with them. "Yeah, I know it seems that way. But he'll be here before you know it."

**o~O~o**

Bella grew increasingly uncomfortable over the next couple of weeks as the baby began shifting, causing several restless nights for the both of us. I felt at a loss, as nothing I did seemed to help her, and there were times when she didn't want me to touch her at all, even to massage her back or feet.

One night, she finally fell asleep without much effort and I laid there, just gazing at her face with my hand resting on her stomach. It was moments like that when I could really absorb everything, in the rare silence of our home. In a very short while, we would be parents to a brand new baby and the bassinette beside our bed would no longer be empty. Bella was a little nervous about becoming a mother for the first time, as I had expected her to be, but I couldn't wait. The sleeping little boy beneath my palm would soon be doing so in my arms. I'd discovered when I was expecting Aimee and Zach with Jane that, while I knew I was a father from the moment I saw the lines on that stick, nothing compared to the moment my children were placed in my arms and I could feel them breath, hear them cry, and touch their tiny faces and hands. _That_ was when I became "Dad" and felt that indescribable bond with my baby.

I didn't even remember closing my eyes that night, let alone falling asleep, but I was woken by Bella shaking my shoulder insistently.

"Edward? Baby, you have to wake up," she whispered and then moaned softly. "Edward, we have to go. My water just broke."

My eyes shot open and my body shifted, feeling the drenched sheet beneath my hip and looking up to her frantic gaze—she was scared. I rested my hand on her face and kissed her gently. "Okay, I'll wake up the kids and call our dads. You need help getting up?"

Bella started to shake her head but paused for a moment, nodding instead. "Yeah. And could you get my clothes? I can call my dad, though."

I rose from the bed and gently lifted her to sit before grabbing her dress she'd set out in preparation for such an event. "I'm going to have to talk to him sometime."

"Not tonight," Bella replied with a wince, her hand curling around her stomach. "I'll be okay, but we need to hurry."

I nodded silently, retrieving my phone from the bedside table and dialing my father as I took two steps at a time toward my children's bedrooms. His groggy voice filled the line when he answered and I began breathlessly speaking. "Hey, Dad. We're about to head to the hospital. Bella's water just broke. Can you meet us there?"

"You bet. I'll be there in a few," he replied, fully alert and I could hear his hurried movements through the phone, followed by his chuckle. "Only your boy would decide to come at two a.m."

"Thanks, Dad," I answered in response to both his statements and ended the call with a brief "bye" and entered Aimee's room. I shook her gently and her hand rose to rub her face. "Honey, we need to get up. It's time to go to the hospital."

"Bella's having the baby?" Aimee gasped, throwing the covers off her legs.

"Yes, and we need to hurry," I replied, trying to remain visibly calm while my heart was racing harshly in my chest. She ran to her dresser to change and I crossed the hall to Zach's room. "Come on, buddy. It's baby time."

Zach was the least lively of us, stretching as I lifted him from the bed and then rested his head on my shoulder. "I tired, Daddy."

"I know, kiddo. You can go back to sleep at Grandpa's," I whispered, opting to just leave him in his pajamas and carrying him downstairs with Aimee following quickly behind. "Bella, I'm just going to put the kids in the car. I'll be right back."

I barely heard her hummed reply as I grabbed my keys and rushed outside until Aimee gasped. "Dad, wait! We need Bella's bag!"

She returned to the house before I could say anything and I began buckling Zach into his seat, looking up when Aimee returned a minute later with Bella's bag in her lap.

"Okay, watch your brother and I'll be right back," I said, closing the door and pressing the button on my keys to lock the car. Even at that hour and my frazzled state of mind, I didn't trust anything when it came to my kids.

I ran back into the house and to our bedroom, finding Bella changed and crying. "I can't do this, Edward."

"Yes, you can, baby," I whispered gently, taking her hands and helping her to stand. "You're going to be just fine."

Bella nodded unconvincingly and clasped my hand in hers as I began leading her outside. "Wait! My bag!"

"Aimee has it," I said calmly, sliding my free arm around her back to guide her down the front steps.

"The car seat?"

"It's in the trunk. I put it there last week, remember?" I replied, watching Aimee stretch into the front seat to unlock the doors. "Just relax. Everything is under control."

Bella settled slowly into the car and I closed the door behind her, running around to get in myself.

"Dad? Is Bella okay?" Aimee asked in a whisper and I looked back at her in the rearview mirror, her eyes on Bella.

I reached over to take Bella's hand once I pulled out of the driveway and began the drive to the hospital. "She's fine, honey. Don't worry."

I half-expected Bella to say something about us talking about her in third person, but she only squeezed my fingers with hers tightly when another contraction hit, and asked, "Are you keeping track?"

Glancing down at the clock on the radio, I nodded. "Did you have any while I was getting the kids up?"

Bella shook her head and swallowed hard—good, they were still about eight minutes apart, I thought, stroking her hand with my thumb in an attempt to calm her.

My father was standing at the hospital entrance as we pulled up and made his way to the driver's side with a smile. "Big day. I let them know you were coming. You'll give me a call and keep me updated?"

"Will do," I said and we traded places for him to take my car, as we'd planned ahead for such a middle of the night event. Zach still slept soundly in the back seat, while Aimee gazed at me with pleading eyes. "Baby, just go back to Grandpa's with your brother. I will call as soon as the baby is born, okay?"

Aimee nodded sadly. "Okay, Dad."

A man in scrubs came rushing out with a wheelchair as I was helping Bella out of the passenger side and I was guiding her into it when she looked up at me. "Oh my God, I forgot to call the doctor."

I reclaimed her hand as she was being wheeled inside quickly. "Bella, it's okay. I did, too, and I've done this twice before."

Bella gripped me firmly as I stopped at the front desk, shaking her head. "No, don't leave me!"

I lowered down beside her and kissed the back of her hand. "I just have to fill out the paperwork. I will come find you the second I'm done. I promise."

Bella was taken further down the hall, still crying and my heart wrenched inside me. _I should be with her. She's terrified_, my mind kept playing over and over in my mind, remembering how _I_ felt when Aimee was on her way, and I wasn't even the one in labor.

"First baby, huh?" the receptionist asked and I turned my head toward her to find her smiling sympathetically. I nodded while anxiously tapping my fingers on the desk, eager to get back to her. "I just need the name, and I can bring the forms to you, if you'd like to stay with her."

"Isabella Swan," I breathed out in a rush, glancing in the direction she'd been taken in time to see her being turned into a room. "Thank you."

I raced away from the desk in my effort to catch up with them, following Bella's unmistakable cries until she was calling my name to my left. "It's okay, baby. I'm right here."

Bella grabbed my arm the instant I came to stand in front of her, where she was sitting on the exam table. "Don't let me have the baby in here."

I gently stroked her hair with my free hand and kissed her forehead. She was panicking even more and I knew that I needed to be the calm one, even with my own building anxiety—though mine was mostly in excitement. I was going to be a father again. In as little as a few hours, I would be holding my brand new baby boy, our son. "Bella, we're not staying here, remember? We'll be going up to a room soon. Relax, baby. Breathe."

Bella sobbed as her grip tightened on my arm and her entire body went rigid with the contraction raging through her. I rubbed her back, watching the clock on the wall until I felt her relax again. "I want an epidural, Edward."

"Let's get you changed and see what the doctor says," I replied calmly as I began to unbutton her dress.

No sooner had I gotten her into the hospital gown and the doctor came in to examine Bella, with the receptionist right behind him to hand me the paperwork. As I sat there filling in the information, my throat tightened when I heard him mention that she was only three centimeters dilated so far, but it seemed that the baby had not turned yet.

"What does that mean?" Bella asked frantically, her eyes shifting rapidly between me and the doctor.

"It means that we'll be monitoring you and doing everything we can to try and get the baby into the right position, but we still have some time," the doctor said gently, covering her legs with the blanket. "However, given the size of the baby and the fact that your water has already broken, we need to prepare for the possibility of a Caesarean if he doesn't turn."

Bella's eyes widened and she began shaking her head, looking over to me with tears welling. "Edward…"

I set the forms aside and took her hand, kissing the back of it. "It's all right, Bella. You heard the doctor, we still have some time. Our baby will be fine and so will you."

**o~O~o**

Twelve hours passed and despite Bella's contractions coming in regular intervals, she wasn't dilating any further and our son still wasn't getting into position. And then, one of the worst things a parent could hear in the midst of labor was explained to us.

The baby was in distress and his heart rate was dropping dangerously with each contraction—a Caesarean was imminent.

"I'm sorry, Edward," Bella cried as soon as the doctor had left the room to call down to the OR. "I'm so sorry."

I rose to sit on the edge of her bed, brushing her tears away with my thumb. "Baby, you have _nothing_ to be sorry for."

"He's in trouble. Our baby is in trouble," she continued, her breaths coming in rapid succession.

"Bella, listen to that," I said, cupping her cheek with my hand and nodding my head toward the monitor beside us with that familiar whooshing sound echoing through the room. "Our little boy is just fine. And before you know it, he'll be in your arms. He's just a bit stubborn like his mom."

My attempt to break the tension in the room and relax her as much as possible was rewarded with her tearful chuckle. Her grip on the hand she still held tightened, her eyes fluttering closed. "More like his dad."

I smiled and kissed her gently, and when she barely moved in response, I allowed myself a moment to internally panic a little. _Please, let our boy be all right_, I thought as I gazed at her face, tracing my fingers lightly through her tangled hair. I knew she had to be exhausted, and while a Caesarean hadn't been in the plan, I prayed that it would all turn out for the best, for mother and child. "I love you, Bella."

"Love you, too," she mumbled and then her eyes opened again as the nurse came back in to prep her for surgery. "Don't leave me."

Each time she'd said that over the passing hours, I'd hoped that my words would reassure her, but I would repeat it a million times over if that was what she needed. "Never."

**o~O~o**

"Can you see anything yet?" Bella asked as I sat beside her head once we were in the operating room and the surgery had begun.

I briefly glanced around the blue sheet barrier between us and the doctor and then quickly returned my eyes to her. I'd been through two births, numerous scrapes and cuts on my kids, and even a gash on my own arm that had required stitches, and still, the sight of blood had the tendency to make me a little squeamish. "Not yet, baby."

The doctor was speaking to the nurses around him, but I barely comprehended a single word and concentrated on Bella's face and my breathing. I couldn't show weakness or cause any more worry for her. However, all that seemed to disappear with one unforgettable statement. "Are we ready to meet this little man?"

Bella's hand squeezed mine and I looked around the sheet again, ignoring everything but the sight of our son being lifted above her and the doctor unraveling the cord from around his body and neck. "Is he okay? Edward? Please say something. Why isn't he crying?"

I watched as they began suctioning his mouth and nose, holding my breath as I waited for the very same thing. And with a few flicks to the bottom of his foot, the soft, trembling cry sounded through the room. I felt the first tears stream down my face and I looked back to her, pressing my lips to her forehead. "He's perfect, Bella. Perfect and beautiful."

**o~O~o**

Charles Anthony Cullen came into the world weighing nine pounds, two ounces, and measuring nearly twenty two inches long. He looked so much like Bella, from the shape of his face to his full lips and head covered in silky black hair. And there were ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes; I knew that because I'd counted them over and over as I held him while Bella lay sleeping after returning to her room.

According to my father when I called to tell him, Aimee and Zach were beside themselves at the news that their brother had arrived and were practically bouncing off the walls, anxious to come see him. Even more so when I said that I wanted to give Bella some time to rest after everything she'd been through.

A soft knock sounded and I turned to see her father standing there in the doorway. Chief Swan and I hadn't been face to face since the day of the fire at my old house, and even when I called to tell him that his grandson had been born and his daughter was doing well, he hadn't said much.

"Hi, Dad," Bella's groggy voice sounded and I looked to her. She blinked a few times, seemingly trying to will her eyes to stay open.

"Is this him?" the young girl beside Chief Swan, whom I could only assume to be Bella's younger sister, asked, biting her lip as she gazed at me. _Must be a Swan girl thing_, I thought to myself as she approached. "Hi, I'm Madeline."

I brought my right hand out from beneath my son, holding it out to shake hers. "I'm Edward. It's nice to meet you."

I'd never had the opportunity to meet Bella's stepmother or sister, as Bella had refused to see her father since announcing her pregnancy and the circumstances surrounding it. He'd been less than receptive to his daughter becoming pregnant by a recently divorced man with two children already, unmarried and with no plan to change that in the immediate future. She couldn't bring herself to cut off all ties, however, and had been calling regularly to keep them all up to date on the baby's progress. And as I turned my gaze back to him, I noticed that the effect of Bella's actions were evident on his features.

"Oh my God, he's so beautiful," Bella's stepmother broke the silence with tears rimming her eyes as they gazed down at our son sleeping soundly in my arms, and then lifted them to me. "I'm Sue, by the way. I'm so happy to finally meet you, Edward."

I was surprised when she lifted onto her toes to kiss my cheek and her smile broadened, and I found it difficult not to return one of my own. "Would you like to hold him?"

"Can I?" she asked hopefully and I nodded, gently setting the baby in her outstretched arms. He stirred with the movement and opened his eyes as she secured her hold around him. "Charlie, come here and look at him. He has your eyes."

Chief Swan stiffened slightly in the doorway, where he'd remained the entire time, and finally, began making slow steps through the room to stand beside his wife. He closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again to gaze down at his grandson, and his features softened, yet still unreadable.

"We named him Charlie," Bella whispered softly and their eyes met, although she could still barely keep them open.

"Bella, I—" Chief Swan began and I watched the wordless exchange between father and daughter until Bella lifted her hand from the bed, reaching out for him. He began taking slow steps toward her and took it, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry, baby."

A tired smile touched Bella's lips and a tear slipped from the corner of her eye, whispering, "Me, too."

"Bella, how did this baby come out of little ol' you? He's big, isn't he?" Madeline asked, breaking the moment between their father and Bella, and even I laughed at that.

"Yeah. I blame him," Bella replied, nodding over to me with a small smile.

"Thanks a lot, baby," I whispered, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

"Dad?" a timid voice sounded from the doorway and we all looked over to see Aimee standing there beside my father, and Zach perched on his hip.

"Sorry, they were anxious to see Bella and the baby," Dad added nervously, his eyes darting around the room. "And their dad."

"It's fine," Bella replied before I could, smiling at Aimee and Zach. "Hey, you two."

Aimee released my father's hand and crossed the room to stand beside Bella's bed, while never taking her eyes off Chief Swan. "Hello, I'm Aimee Cullen. You're Bella's dad, right?"

The hint of a smile touched his lips and he gently took my daughter's outstretched hand. "Yes, I am. It's nice to meet you, Aimee. I'm Charlie."

"Thought so. You look like her," Aimee observed, blushing slightly and then turning to Bella. "Are you feeling any better?"

Bella nodded, pulling Aimee into a gentle hug. "Much. Thank you."

"Can I see my brother now?" Zach asked impatiently, causing all of us to chuckle.

I took him from my father and into my arms, kissing his hair and whispering into his ear. "That wasn't very polite, Zachary."

He ducked his head and hid in the side of my neck, his tiny fingers fiddling with the front of my shirt. "Sorry, Daddy."

I carried my son across the room as Sue set little Charlie into Bella's arms and Aimee climbed up onto the bed to sit on the other side. "Aimee, Zach, this is your new little brother, Charlie."

They both gazed in awe at the infant bundled in the soft blue blanket, each of them resting their heads on one of Bella's shoulders, and I gently kissed her temple. The fact that there were four other occupants in the room at that moment barely occurred to any of us. Our little family had become solidified and more complete with the addition of the beautiful child that Bella and I had created, and each of us seemed absorbed in that realization, even the children. They both nuzzled closer to her and Aimee tentatively brushed her fingertip over Charlie's tiny clenched fist, which instantly opened and rose to his face.

"Daddy? Why's baby Charlie tryna poke his eye out?" Zach asked, looking up at me curiously and wrinkling his nose.

Bella gave a soft laugh and brought her fingers to take our baby's wrist between them and lower his hand from his face. "He's just trying to rub them, Zachy. That's all."

"Oh my God, Bella! You're getting married?" Madeline suddenly exclaimed, pointing to her older sister's left hand and the room fell silent. My eyes lifting to meet those of my fiancée's father, and I swallowed hard. It was definitely _not_ the way Bella and I had seen that revelation coming about.

_You and I are gonna talk_, his gaze said loud and clear without words, before escorting his wife and young daughter out of the room. My own father followed right after with a small nod, leaving us to spend a private family moment together with the kids.

We all continued to gaze down at little Charlie until his eyes began to flutter close, and Bella and I looked down to find Aimee and Zach also sound asleep on either side of her.

"I should probably have my dad take them home," I whispered, gently kissing Bella's temple.

Bella shook her head and then winced slightly. "Honey, it's okay if you want to go home for a few hours and get some sleep. I'm getting a little sore so I'll probably be zoned out on pain meds soon anyway, and I can have the nurse take Charlie to the nursery. You look exhausted."

I slowly stood, shifting Zach off my lap and onto the bed, and taking Charlie from Bella's arms and laying him in the bassinette. Returning to her a moment later, I leaned down to kiss her lips softly. "I promised I wouldn't leave, and I'm not going to. I'm fine."

Bella simply rolled her eyes at me as first, I picked up Zach and then moved around the bed to lift Aimee into my arms as well. She winced again as she attempted to shift into a more comfortable position, and I raised my eyebrow at her. "Okay, but you're still a stubborn male."

"Not going to argue, baby. I'll be right back," I replied with a smile, carrying my kids down the long hallway and silently settling them in my father's arms in the waiting room.

When I turned to head back to Bella's room, I was stopped in my tracks by Chief Swan standing right in front of me. "You got a minute, Edward?"


	14. Epilogue

**A/N: Here it is, the end of another fic, and this one really tears at my heart a little. I always get a little emotional when I come to the end of one of my stories, but there are some that affect me a little deeper than others, and this is one of them. I started posting this a little over two years ago for my good friend StarlightSuccubus' birthday, since it was all at her urging that I actually write and post this story in the first place. And now, I am a little sad to see this Edward and Bella go. I have to admit, I was kinda aimless yesterday when I typed up that last line and thought, wow, PtP is over, and now all I have is Don't Ever Forget and the last installment of the EPOV of New Moon…and then I have NO idea what I'm gonna do next, but I'm sure I'll think of something. :)**

**Thank you all for being so amazing and patient with me as I wrote this. I know I've been very slow and inconsistent in writing and updating due to my health, and you have been so incredible through it all, I feel very lucky. I will also be compiling a pdf of this story as well, as soon as I edit and clean it up some, and it will be posted on my profile with my other completed works. **

**And thank you to ericastwilight, once again, for being my rock through this, and kicking my butt into gear to actually finish it, even if she **_**was**_** in serious denial last night about PtP actually coming to an end. I love ya girl, and can't wait to hug the crap out of you **_**very**_** soon.**

**Thank you and take care!**

* * *

**Playing the Part Epilogue  
**

"_You got a minute, Edward?"_

I froze with that singular statement. It was the one moment that every man dreads; the first actual discussion with the father of the woman he's dating. _And when her dad is a cop, it's even worse_, I thought to myself.

However, given the circumstances leading up to my relationship with Bella, the prospect of that particular "face-to-face with Dad" made me even more nervous. Would he understand how much I loved and cherished his daughter, and be able to look past the fact that we'd just had a child out of wedlock? That I sincerely _wanted_ my son with her, and they weren't just an obligation to me? His expression gave away nothing, so I simply nodded and followed him out into the hallway.

Chief Swan's hands drove deep into his pockets and he drew in a slow breath. "I wanted to say congratulations. He's a good looking kid."

"Thank you, sir," I replied in a quiet tone, and then suddenly, his body language told an entirely different story. He seemed just as nervous as I was. "Chief Swan, I know I'm really not one of your favorite people right now…"

"Stop," he said abruptly, bringing one of his hands out of his pocket and held it up to stop me. "Why do you want to marry my daughter? Is it just because of the baby?"

I shifted uncomfortably and folded my arms over my chest. Bella had been right. Especially with the way my previous marriage ended, it would automatically be assumed that my only reason for wanting to marry again so soon was that she had given birth to my son. _Shit_. "Sir, I _am_ a very family oriented man, and I love my children more than anything in this world. Nothing is more important to me than they are, all three of them. But Bella is a _very_ close second to them. Even if there was no Charlie, I would still want to spend the rest of my life with her."

"Then why wait? If you're so sure that you want to be with her, why didn't you marry her before she had your child?" he asked, his forehead taut and serious. "Are you _that_ nervous about getting married again?"

I shook my head and fought against the urge to lean back against the wall. I needed to stand up like a man and appear stronger than that, and not shrink back at all from the father of the woman I loved. "It was a decision on both our parts. She wanted to be sure that I was marrying her for the right reasons, and _not_ just because of Charlie. And I also had Aimee and Zachary to consider. They adore Bella, but they also still have a mother they love very much, and the divorce wasn't easy for them. We both needed to be sure that they were comfortable with another woman at my side, and their new brother."

Chief Swan nodded slowly, his gaze meeting the floor, and he appeared deep in thought. I began running my words over in my mind, trying to determine if I'd said something that could be construed as anything other than how I'd meant them. Then his eyes rose to meet mine again. "I love my daughter, Madeline. She's my baby, and I couldn't possibly love her more. But Bella is my firstborn. And I don't know exactly what she has told you about her mother and I, but that little girl was my only reason for getting out of bed in the morning for a very long time. I know a father's love is one of the most powerful feelings that any man can experience, and Bella holds a very special place in my heart. I married her mother for the wrong reasons, and unfortunately, Bella paid the ultimate price for that. And I was very careful about making the decision to marry again, and took my daughter into a lot of consideration in that choice. So I can understand both your stance _and_ hers. I just want my little girl to be happy. As well as my grandson."

"Nothing is more important to me than the happiness of her and my children," I replied sincerely.

"I've seen that. From the first moment I met you," Chief Swan mumbled quietly, his arms tightening over his chest. "I could see how much my daughter cared about you that first night, and vice versa. And despite what your wife had done, you showed a level of care and concern for her and your children that I can't deny, did surprise me. More so with her, obviously. You were a better man than me, and I respected the hell out of you. And then, Bella called to tell me that she was not only pregnant, but you were the father."

I drew in a nervous breath, swallowing hard, and despite my efforts to the contrary, my eyes lowered. "I don't regret having Charlie. I wish the situation could have been different at the time she became pregnant. Not just for me, but for Bella, Aimee and Zach, and of course, for him as well. He wasn't planned, but he and Bella are the best things to happen to me since the birth of my first two. I love her and our son, and I promise, I will take good care of them."

"I have no doubt about that," he replied and I brought my gaze back to him. "I watched you today with her and the baby, and those kids of yours. Little Aimee is a good kid, very polite and so smart. And that little boy." He paused to chuckle, shaking his head. "He's a little spitfire. But you can tell a lot about a man through his children. And they both love and respect their father more than I've seen in a long time. It takes a good man to raise two amazing kids like that."

"Thank you, sir."

"I also wanted to apologize to you, as well," he continued and a pained tone and expression came over him. "I should have been there for her. I was so afraid that she was repeating my mistakes. I couldn't bear to see her hurt like that. And I showed it in the wrong way. But seeing her today, I hardly recognized her. She was so happy, and she loves you and those kids so much. And those feelings are mutual on all counts."

"Very much so," I replied, nodding in affirmation.

"That's all a father can want for his little girl, right?" he said in more of a statement that a question, relating to me father-to-father, and I gave him an agreeable smile. "I want to be there to see my daughter get married and give her away. Soon?"

"Yes. As soon as I can give her the wedding she deserves. And that is the best one that I can provide," I answered confidently and I watched as a smile twitched at his lips. "And it wouldn't be the same without you there, and it would mean the world to Bella."

"You really _are_ a good man, Edward," he said, holding his hand out for me to shake, and I took it firmly in mine. "My Bella did good."

**o~O~o**

I had almost forgotten what those first few weeks of having a new baby in the house was like, and Charlie had proven to be more of a handful than my first two combined.

Or maybe I was just that much _older_.

Our little boy was beautiful, with his mother's amazing and expressive brown eyes, and he was _very _animated, even at only three weeks old. In that respect, he reminded me a lot of Zach. However, his fiery temperament was reminiscent of his sister, and Bella. I saw very little of myself in Charlie, except for my knobby knees and long toes.

Aside from her exhaustion, Bella was holding up far better than I was, despite her worries throughout her pregnancy about her abilities as a mother. She was so patient with him, even after hours' worth of crying from our son, and she'd spend many nights on the living room couch, trying not to disturb my sleep or Zach's. She was amazing.

Aimee had been a godsend. She would insist on watching Charlie for a little while after school each day, making sure that Bella ate and had a break while she held the baby. And she was frantic when she'd come home from the visits with her mother that had recently resumed under the supervision of Jane's sister, worried that Bella hadn't gotten enough rest and about her baby brother. She was a regular mother hen, and I couldn't have been more proud of her.

Zach, on the other hand, was with me—totally clueless.

"_Daddy? Why's baby Charlie so sad?" he'd asked me once about a week after we'd brought him home. "Don't he like it here?"_

_I lifted him from his spot beside me on the couch and onto my lap, and he rested back on my chest, while keeping his eyes on Bella pacing the kitchen with the baby. "I'm sure he likes it here, buddy. Sometimes babies cry for a reason, like they are hungry or tired…"_

"_Or tinky diapies," Zach added, scrunching his nose._

"_Or stinky diapers," I agreed, trying very hard not to laugh and kissing the top of his head. "But other times, no one really knows why."_

"_Did me and Mimi do that?" he asked, tilting his head up to look back at me curiously._

"_Yeah, a little bit," I replied with a nod. "And do you like it here?"_

_Zach nodded as well, nuzzling into the front of my shirt. "I love my daddy. And my Bewwa."_

_I smiled, hugging my arms more securely around him. He'd begun calling her that shortly after we'd brought Charlie home, and we'd started calling her "Mommy" or "Charlie's Mommy' whenever we were around the baby. He became territorial and climbed into Bella's lap as I took my turn walking the floor with our fussing infant, wrapping his arms around her and mumbling "My Bewwa."_

_To her credit, Bella only winced slightly as he pressed up against her incision, and shook her head as I was about to say something. She shifted him slightly, but never removed her arms from around him, and gently stroked his hair. And I stood in absolute awe of her; she was a natural mother._

"_We love you, too, Zach. And Charlie will be fine, just like you."_

The first crack I saw in Bella came about a week later after Charlie's one month check-up. He wasn't gaining the weight that the doctor would have like to see, and was concerned that he wasn't getting the sustenance he needed from Bella's breast milk alone, and could have been an explanation as to why he was so fussy. He suggested a formula supplement in between his regular feedings at her breast, and to see him back in another week or so to check his progress.

I could see the slight glistening of her eyes as we made our way back out to the car, and she didn't utter a word all the way home. She only nodded when I returned home from picking up Zach and the trip to the store, and asked if it was the right one. Bella gently rocked Charlie in the glider beside the crib while I made his first bottle since he'd been home and brought it up to her. We were amazed by the way he took to the nipple and drank the entire thing down in what seemed like seconds, falling straight to sleep in her arms as she gently patted his back.

After setting Charlie in his crib, Bella made her way downstairs to the kitchen to busy herself with making lunch for Zach. I watched her eyes as they constantly flickered over to the monitor on the counter, obviously waiting for the baby to start crying, but he never did.

Three hours later, Bella had cleaned the entire kitchen, including the refrigerator, made Aimee's snack for after school and my dinner for work that night, and then sat at the table, holding her head between her hands. She shot up at the first whimper from Charlie and raced up the stairs, and I was right behind her. I stood in the doorway and watched her shoulders fall slightly when she found that he only needed to be changed and showed little interest in feeding yet. He was more content to fall asleep in her arms again and didn't stir when she returned him to his crib.

I reached for her arm as she passed me but she pulled it away with a shake of her head and mumbled, "I'm fine." However, I heard her hurried steps down the stairs and the close of our bedroom door, and I ran my hand through my hair and sighed. I followed her path, asking Aimee to keep an eye on Zach and an ear out for Charlie for a few minutes while I talked to Bella, and she nodded with a look of worry at the closed door.

When I entered the bedroom, I found Bella sitting on the edge of our bed with a pillow hugged to her chest, her shoulders trembling. I crawled across the bed to kneel behind her, my hand resting on her arm as I kissed her cheek. "Baby, what's the matter?"

"He doesn't even need me, Edward. I'm supposed to be his mother and I can't do something as simple as feeding my baby. What kind of mother am I?" Bella sobbed, trying to pull away and lowering her face into the pillow, but I kept hold of her arm and then wrapped mine around her.

"Bella, you are an _amazing_ mother," I murmured, pressing my lips to her hair and she began shaking her head. "You _are_. Come here."

Bella choked on another cry and I slowly guided her to lie down beside me, and held her. Her face buried into my chest and her arms curled between us, and her entire body trembled in my hold. "I've failed him. I should have known something was wrong. He was starving and I did _nothing_. I should have _known_. It's my _job_ to know."

"Baby, he's fine," I replied in a gentle tone, running my hand along her back. "He's healthy, and he's not _losing_ weight. Needing a little extra is not _any_ kind of failure on your part. You have done everything humanly possible for our son, even when I, a father of two already, had no idea what to do. You are a natural mom and I am _so_ proud to call you the mother of my son."

Bella's arm circled around my waist and hugged her body against mine, finally lifting her tear-stained face to look at me. "I love him so much, Edward. I just want him to be okay."

I brought my hand to her face and brushed her tears away with my thumb, leaning forward to kiss her gently. "I know you do. And he's perfect, _because_ of you."

Bella's lips met mine again and her arm tightened around me, pulling me closer. "And I love you. _So_ much. Thank you."

"I love you, too, Bella," I replied, kissing her hair as her face lowered to my chest again. I glanced at the clock and saw that I had to leave in a little over an hour, feeling Bella's hold secure on me as well. "Baby, do you need me to call in tonight and stay home with you and the kids?"

Bella pulled away, wiping her face with the back of her hand and shaking her head. "No, I'll be fine. I shouldn't be so emotional over something like this. Thank you, but you go stir-crazy when you don't work."

"It's _one_ night, Bella. You and the kids are more important than _any_ job," I replied insistently, running my fingers through her hair when her head returned to my chest. "If you need me, I'll be here. My understudy has been chomping at the bit anyway since I took that week off after Charlie was born. It'll be okay, Bella. Bella?"

I looked down at her when she didn't respond after a moment, finding her completely still with her eyes closed. I kissed her forehead and slowly pulled away, covering her over with the blanket once I stood from the bed, and she didn't move. I quietly left the room to allow her to really sleep for the first time since Charlie's birth. She was beyond exhausted and my mind was made up. Work could definitely do without me for a night; my family needed me more.

**o~O~o**

With Charlie doing much better and even starting to sleep through _most_ of the night, our next challenge was underway—wedding plans. Both of our fathers insisted on helping financially, but all three of us men were once again _clueless_ as to everything else.

I'd had very little to do with my first wedding other than to just show up for fittings and be on time for the ceremony. Jane and the wedding planner had handled every other detail, and it was ridiculously lavish. Neither Bella nor I wanted anything quite like that. We only wished to get married and have a day that we'd remember for the rest of our lives.

Her stepmother was a huge help, as were Madeline and Aimee. The two girls had established a fast friendship after meeting that day in the hospital room, and they were soon inseparable and excited to go along with Bella and Sue to the florist and bridal shop. They even had the women take pictures of them in their dresses to show their dads.

Even at eleven, my little girl looked so grown up and it caused my heart to twinge. Before I knew it, my baby would be a teenager, starting high school, going off to college, getting married herself, making me a grandfather…

_Oh God_, I thought with my head between my hands. Even Zach starting kindergarten hadn't hit me _that_ hard, and I'd been a _mess_.

Bella was visibly trying not to laugh as she sat down beside me on the couch, running her fingers along the back of my neck and kissing the back of my hand. "She's _only_ eleven, baby. You don't need to worry about any of that yet."

I turned my head to look at her with a raised eyebrow. "Just wait until Charlie comes home with his first girlfriend."

Bella lifted her chin and shook her head. "Nope. Never going to happen. I've already made it clear to him that he is _not_ growing up, he's staying a baby forever, or else I'm locking him in a tower."

She succeeded in making me laugh and I felt my body relax, sliding my arm around her waist and kissing her. "Good luck with that, sweetheart."

The big day finally arrived and snow had begun to fall in the early hours of the morning. There was a good three inches on the ground when I woke at six and checked my phone to find a text from Bella.

_Oh my God, why today?! I'm never going to get through this mess!_

I chuckled and rose from bed, making my way out to my father's kitchen, where he had a cup of coffee already waiting for me. My phone chimed in my hand again as I took my first sip, and I looked down to it.

_Damn it. Get your ass out of bed, Edward Cullen. We're getting married in five hours, in case you've forgotten._

My father's chuckle joined mine and I glanced over to him, finding him smirking. "Wedding day nerves?"

"Yep," I replied and dialed her phone, waiting for her to pick up, but it was my daughter's voice that came through.

"Daddy, Bella is _freaking_ out," Aimee whispered, her breaths a little heavy. "I don't know what to do! She's not going to change her mind, is she?"

"No, I really don't think so, honey. Let me talk to her," I answered calmly.

"That's against the rules, Dad," Aimee admonished and I chuckled.

"Only if I _see_ her. Just give her the phone, princess," I replied and she sighed.

"Bella, Dad wants to talk to you," I heard her say and the clicking of her shoes was audible on the floor as she made her way to Bella.

"Edward? _Please_ tell me that you were in the shower or something," Bella spoke hurriedly.

"Baby, relax. We still have five hours and I don't require even _half_ the preparation time that you do," I said softly in an attempt to soothe her.

"So you were still _sleeping_?" Bella shrieked and I held the phone away from my ear, watching my father leave the room, shaking his head with a chuckle. "Have you _looked_ out the window yet? You need to get ready and get to the church. I want you there _safely_."

Bringing the phone back to rest against my cheek, I took another sip of coffee before setting it down on the counter. "I will be. I'm going to shower and then head over, and change there. Don't worry about me. In a few hours we'll be married and everything will be perfect. You'll see."

Bella's breaths gradually began to ease, and I heard Madeline instructing her not to cry. "Okay. Now I just have to worry about _me_ getting there safely. Snow plus heels equals slippery disaster waiting to happen."

"You'll be fine, baby. Your dad won't let you fall on the way in, and neither will I on the way out," I said reassuringly and she mumbled a "better not", but I could hear the smile breaking through in her voice. "I love you, Isabella Swan."

"_Don't_ call me Isabella. I'm not in trouble for anything," she scolded me and followed it with a laugh, joined by her stepmother's in the background. Her voice softened as she whispered "I love you, too," and then reminded me to go shower before we said goodbye.

Standing at the altar with my father beside me as my best man, I was anxious to see Bella. I hadn't spent a full night without her by my side in months, and sleeping and waking alone felt strange, and I didn't like it at all. I wanted to be married to her, to feel her in my arms again, and the guy in me _really_ wanted out of the tie constricting my throat.

The church was soon filled with our guests and little Charlie was voicing his displeasure at the echoing noise of the voices surrounding him as he sat on Sue's lap. He'd just turned six months old, and he was a _very_ active little boy who did not enjoy being stationary for any length of time, though he wasn't even crawling yet. Thankfully, a pacifier seemed to placate him for the time being and he settled back against her chest with heavy lids.

The doors opened at the end of the aisle, and Madeline and Aimee appeared in their mauve dresses, walking slowly toward us, and my daughter gave me a wink before taking her place on the other side. I returned it, causing both girls to giggle into their bouquets, and then turned my gaze to the doors again to have my breath snatched from my body.

Bella stood there with her arm linked through her father's, holding tightly onto the sleeve of his jacket, and she looked absolutely enchanting. She was as beautiful as I'd imagined she would be, and more. The dress hugged the curves of her waist and hips, and if I hadn't been present in that hospital room myself, _no one_ would have been able to convince me that she'd given birth to a nearly ten pound baby only six months before. Her body was a little fuller, but to my eyes, it didn't take away from her beauty, it _enhanced _it.

Bella was the love of my life and the mother of my son, and I'd never loved her _more_ than I did at that moment, as her father placed her hand in mine. She was all I could hear, see, smell, and feel while we vowed our lives to each other forever, and sealed our promise with two rings and one kiss.

I couldn't take my eyes off the band encircling her finger as we made our way back down the aisle with her left hand on my arm. She was my wife, and I was her husband, and I got to spend the rest of my life with the beauty beside me.

We stepped outside together and glanced up. The snow had slowed significantly and sparse flakes were drifting down around us. I turned my eyes to her and watched them cling to her veil, lashes, cheeks and hair, and she looked like and angel sent to me from heaven. I lifted my fingers to her chin and brought her gaze to mine, and sealed my lips over hers lovingly until we heard the click of a camera.

To this day, that picture still sits on its own shelf on the bookcase beside our television. I gaze at it every single day, as I have for the last five years, just as much in love with my bride as I was the moment it was taken. A brand new baby girl joined our family two years later, and we decided that we were done. Our hands were full with four children under our roof, but we cherished every moment of it.

I know that when they've all grown and moved away, I'll miss them and it will break my heart a little, but I won't ever be alone. I am no longer playing the part of a happily married man to a woman I no longer cared for. I am a husband and friend to a wife that loves me as unconditionally as I do her. I will have my beautiful Bella at my side and it won't be the end of my life. Only a new beginning. With her.


End file.
